Ever get the feeling you are being taken advantage of? Now all I need to do is pray and figure out how to handle this tactfully.
Hm... Tactful. That word was not in my vocubulary for a long long time. I'm a little slower to speak nowadays that I used to be.
Still need to get my clock on the wall. I had a nail and hammer out this morning trying to figure out where the studs were over the couch. Would you believe that after hammering that nail in ever 4 inches or so for two feet that I never hit a stud??? I can't believe it either. Guess I'll try again tonight after church.
Tomorrow, we're planting plants at my house. A small flower bed, edging the concrete where we can get to it. Maybe shoving the dirt back into the trenches that have been in my yard for two weeks. Never know.
I found this little thingie below on another blog and thought it was neat. Added it to my NTWS profile and will put it here as well. (hopefully the html will work right)
Later gators.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
ummm....
Today, I discovered that the only male I ever was a complete fool over is now registered at that Navy-type website I visit.
This would be the same male who I dreamed was dying and knew without a doubt that God was saying "you've not released him from your past."
The same male who it took several hours to write a letter to releasing years (and yes I mean years) worth of memories so I could move on.
The letter I carried for 4 or 5 months before I could burn it. And then it took over a dozen matches because the flame kept going out on the letter. *insert eye roll*
Life goes on. When I told a friend of mine, this and she said God is getting ready to do something for so much of my past to come up and need to be cleared. Amen.
I'm ready. I think!
This would be the same male who I dreamed was dying and knew without a doubt that God was saying "you've not released him from your past."
The same male who it took several hours to write a letter to releasing years (and yes I mean years) worth of memories so I could move on.
The letter I carried for 4 or 5 months before I could burn it. And then it took over a dozen matches because the flame kept going out on the letter. *insert eye roll*
Life goes on. When I told a friend of mine, this and she said God is getting ready to do something for so much of my past to come up and need to be cleared. Amen.
I'm ready. I think!
Sunday, March 25, 2007
seminar
I am a demo for Angel Company. I love the stamps. Acrylic mounting vs wood mount is the b*mb-diggity. Currently, I don't sell alot of stamps. I had been waiting until I had somewhere to give a Funshop and now have a big enough home to hold one in.
Their seminar is the end of June in Kansas City Missouri. I'm praying for the finances to attend. The total cost would be around a thousand bucks! Nothing less than a miracle would make that happen.
Can ya say a prayer with me?
Their seminar is the end of June in Kansas City Missouri. I'm praying for the finances to attend. The total cost would be around a thousand bucks! Nothing less than a miracle would make that happen.
Can ya say a prayer with me?
Friday, March 23, 2007
YAH! My clock is almost finished. The hand and motor came in the mail yesterday. I finished painting the face of the clock and the scripture on it last night (late). I sealed it this morning. A friend of mine is going to help me get the hands and motor attached to it and hung on the wall today. It turned out so cool. Absolutely God inspired! I'll attach a picture after I get it hung on the wall.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Monday
Most of my errands are run. The electric bill is paid. The pressed board for the clock is purchased and cut to size. The material for Chaz' bedroom curtains is bought.
A trip to the commissary for basics and we're done for the week.
It's a gorgeous day outside again. The ditch in my front yard is annoying but I've still got room to put a chair out and sit and listen to the birds.
I met another of my neighbors today. She was in Texas for surgery and recovery the first two months we lived in this house. She's a nice older lady.
The neighbor to my right came over and introduced himself on Friday. He's got a big dawg that makes alot of noise when the kids and I go anywhere near the fence. He was nice and offered to help with the lawn if I need help.
Last night's small group was about the infilling of the Holy Spirit. I can't seem to get my head outta the way when it comes to this. *sigh*
A trip to the commissary for basics and we're done for the week.
It's a gorgeous day outside again. The ditch in my front yard is annoying but I've still got room to put a chair out and sit and listen to the birds.
I met another of my neighbors today. She was in Texas for surgery and recovery the first two months we lived in this house. She's a nice older lady.
The neighbor to my right came over and introduced himself on Friday. He's got a big dawg that makes alot of noise when the kids and I go anywhere near the fence. He was nice and offered to help with the lawn if I need help.
Last night's small group was about the infilling of the Holy Spirit. I can't seem to get my head outta the way when it comes to this. *sigh*
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Sunshine!
It's an absolutely gorgeous day. The temp is a wee bit chilly but gorgeous just the same!
Spring Break has officially started. Yah! The plans for the week? In a word, Busy!
Sunday - Church, small group
Monday - Volleyball (6 p.m.)
Tuesday - Soccer practice (5 p.m.)
Wednesday - Church (4 p.m.)
Thursday - Soccer practice (5 p.m.)
Friday - CR (5 p.m.)
Saturday - Soccer game (9 a.m.)
Looky there, I've got free time almost every day! Heh. What to do what to do.
Make my 3x5 foot clock. Yeah, 3x5 foot. It's going to have a 2' clock dial on the front, working of course. Friday, I prepared a sheet of newsprint in that size to hang on the wall and work out the design. Friday night, I did a rough. Today or tomorrow, I'll go pick up the wood to make it. I've got the paint already. The hands and motor are on order and should be here on Wednesday or Thursday. It'll be ready to hang by the weekend. When I finish it, I'll take a picture and post it.
I'm also going to finish putting away the stuff in my bedroom. Rearrange my laundry room so I can store some boxes of craft supplies until I get shelfing to put all that stuff on. Make some thank you cards in preparation for the housewarming we're going to have on the 31st.
I forgot to post about Breezy's day sick and my day off on Monday. *grin*
Normally, when Breezy or Chaz is sick, I have them stay with a friend because if I'm not working, I'm not getting paid.
However... Sunday evening, Breezy decided she had a stomachache after small groups. Of course, she had it on Monday morning.
This is aggravating to me as she rarely sick during the weekend or later in the week. Just Monday mornings. hm...
I took Chaz to school, sat down and googled "stomachache, treatment, medical." What I got was WebMD.
Serve mild foods, such as rice, dry toast or crackers, gelatin, or applesauce.
So, we left and went to Walmart because I knew I was out of rice, crackers, and jello.
She refused chicken rice soup and chicken noodle soup. She refused plain crackers. I chose the jello and let her pick the gatorade.
She slept for 4 hours (I slept for 3). When she woke up she was hungry and asked what she could have. I told her jello, it's in the kitchen. She wasn't happy.
An hour later, she asked what she could have to eat. I told her jello, it's in the kitchen. Not happy again. She managed to find a package of chicken flavored rice in the cabinet and asked if she could have it. I caved and fixed it for her.
When she finished, she asked me if she could play a Nintendo Wii game, you know, the matching one. "Mom, I only have to move my hand to point." Um..... No. "Why?" Um.... because you're sick and I told you no. "Hmph." LOL
She wanted to go to the volleyball game because she felt better that night. I told her no again. She asked "why" again. Because you were home sick and when you're sick, you don't do anything.
One of her last comments to me was "I don't like that computer and the internet because you looked this up." LOL
Wonder how long it will be before she's sick again?
Spring Break has officially started. Yah! The plans for the week? In a word, Busy!
Sunday - Church, small group
Monday - Volleyball (6 p.m.)
Tuesday - Soccer practice (5 p.m.)
Wednesday - Church (4 p.m.)
Thursday - Soccer practice (5 p.m.)
Friday - CR (5 p.m.)
Saturday - Soccer game (9 a.m.)
Looky there, I've got free time almost every day! Heh. What to do what to do.
Make my 3x5 foot clock. Yeah, 3x5 foot. It's going to have a 2' clock dial on the front, working of course. Friday, I prepared a sheet of newsprint in that size to hang on the wall and work out the design. Friday night, I did a rough. Today or tomorrow, I'll go pick up the wood to make it. I've got the paint already. The hands and motor are on order and should be here on Wednesday or Thursday. It'll be ready to hang by the weekend. When I finish it, I'll take a picture and post it.
I'm also going to finish putting away the stuff in my bedroom. Rearrange my laundry room so I can store some boxes of craft supplies until I get shelfing to put all that stuff on. Make some thank you cards in preparation for the housewarming we're going to have on the 31st.
I forgot to post about Breezy's day sick and my day off on Monday. *grin*
Normally, when Breezy or Chaz is sick, I have them stay with a friend because if I'm not working, I'm not getting paid.
However... Sunday evening, Breezy decided she had a stomachache after small groups. Of course, she had it on Monday morning.
This is aggravating to me as she rarely sick during the weekend or later in the week. Just Monday mornings. hm...
I took Chaz to school, sat down and googled "stomachache, treatment, medical." What I got was WebMD.
Serve mild foods, such as rice, dry toast or crackers, gelatin, or applesauce.
So, we left and went to Walmart because I knew I was out of rice, crackers, and jello.
She refused chicken rice soup and chicken noodle soup. She refused plain crackers. I chose the jello and let her pick the gatorade.
She slept for 4 hours (I slept for 3). When she woke up she was hungry and asked what she could have. I told her jello, it's in the kitchen. She wasn't happy.
An hour later, she asked what she could have to eat. I told her jello, it's in the kitchen. Not happy again. She managed to find a package of chicken flavored rice in the cabinet and asked if she could have it. I caved and fixed it for her.
When she finished, she asked me if she could play a Nintendo Wii game, you know, the matching one. "Mom, I only have to move my hand to point." Um..... No. "Why?" Um.... because you're sick and I told you no. "Hmph." LOL
She wanted to go to the volleyball game because she felt better that night. I told her no again. She asked "why" again. Because you were home sick and when you're sick, you don't do anything.
One of her last comments to me was "I don't like that computer and the internet because you looked this up." LOL
Wonder how long it will be before she's sick again?
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Japan
I still want to go back to Japan. Some friends look at me as if I have sprouted wings or horns when I tell them this. "What is so good about Japan" they ask.
Japan, the culture, the people, the sights, the trains. Everything. I can't explain it. There is just this heart-felt desire to go back. Whether to work or as a missionary or to do both.
One of my favorite web sites/blogs is Japan Window. Every day Andy posts, he puts an image from Japan. As he's in Tokyo, I sometimes recognize what he is posting and it's good. Familiar.
One day I will scan in a few pictures I have from Japan and share here. Love it!
As for other things, sitemeter is down for sm1 which is where my counter is hosted from. I didn't realize that until today when I was scrounging around the net. Doh.
Japan, the culture, the people, the sights, the trains. Everything. I can't explain it. There is just this heart-felt desire to go back. Whether to work or as a missionary or to do both.
One of my favorite web sites/blogs is Japan Window. Every day Andy posts, he puts an image from Japan. As he's in Tokyo, I sometimes recognize what he is posting and it's good. Familiar.
One day I will scan in a few pictures I have from Japan and share here. Love it!
As for other things, sitemeter is down for sm1 which is where my counter is hosted from. I didn't realize that until today when I was scrounging around the net. Doh.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Joy
No matter what....
Over the last month or so since we've moved, I've been going through pictures from the past. As I look at these pictures, with very few exceptions, I look absolutely miserable. I mean, really miserable.
And yesterday, I was talking to a friend and said "you know, looking at all these pictures, I don't think I was ever happy." The few that I look happy in I'm playing with Chaz or Breezy, an occasional one with my ex but other than those, I'm miserable. Oh wait, then there's the happy drunk pictures or nearly drunk pictures.
And lately, as I've posted previously, I feel more joyful. And while I'm not necessarily happy, I am content, and I do have joy. When things are going all askew, I may be be sad, but at the same time, there is something in me that is still singing.
I told a friend at school that I sing because I have to. No matter how bad it is, I know that there is Someone bigger than me who has it in His hands. And while I can't see the big picture, He can. I have to chose to sing.
In October 2004, Pastor preached a sermon called "Joy No Matter What" the Wednesday before Hurricane Ivan. And then did a series on it after Ivan. It was good. Very good.
Today, Pastor Josh preached a sermon called "Happiness Theology." As he preached, the song "Joy down in my heart" came to mind. You remember, you sang it as a kid and probably forgot like I did.
I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart.
Where? Down in my heart!
Where? Down in my heart!
I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart,
down in my heart
down in my heart to stay.
And if the Devil doesn't like it he can sit on a tack.
OUCH
Sit on a tack.
OUCH
Sit on a tack.
And if the Devil doesn't like it he can sit on a tack
Sit on a tack today.
Anyway, I'm grateful for where God has taken me and how He has changed my life.
Over the last month or so since we've moved, I've been going through pictures from the past. As I look at these pictures, with very few exceptions, I look absolutely miserable. I mean, really miserable.
And yesterday, I was talking to a friend and said "you know, looking at all these pictures, I don't think I was ever happy." The few that I look happy in I'm playing with Chaz or Breezy, an occasional one with my ex but other than those, I'm miserable. Oh wait, then there's the happy drunk pictures or nearly drunk pictures.
And lately, as I've posted previously, I feel more joyful. And while I'm not necessarily happy, I am content, and I do have joy. When things are going all askew, I may be be sad, but at the same time, there is something in me that is still singing.
I told a friend at school that I sing because I have to. No matter how bad it is, I know that there is Someone bigger than me who has it in His hands. And while I can't see the big picture, He can. I have to chose to sing.
In October 2004, Pastor preached a sermon called "Joy No Matter What" the Wednesday before Hurricane Ivan. And then did a series on it after Ivan. It was good. Very good.
Today, Pastor Josh preached a sermon called "Happiness Theology." As he preached, the song "Joy down in my heart" came to mind. You remember, you sang it as a kid and probably forgot like I did.
Where? Down in my heart!
Where? Down in my heart!
I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart,
down in my heart
down in my heart to stay.
And if the Devil doesn't like it he can sit on a tack.
OUCH
Sit on a tack.
OUCH
Sit on a tack.
And if the Devil doesn't like it he can sit on a tack
Sit on a tack today.
Anyway, I'm grateful for where God has taken me and how He has changed my life.
Friday, March 09, 2007
this morning...
I was thinking "how cool it is that God is in the small things?" I just can't get over the fish thing. God cared enough about Breezy's fish that He had a friend pick up two and "just happen" to have them in her car for 3 hours. If He cares that much about Breezy's fish, how much more does He care about me, Breezy, Chaz, and you?
Work was good today. My nurse made a run to the school warehouse several days ago to pick out a bigger desk, bookcase, chair, and storage cabinet for our offices. It was delivered this morning. The man who delivered it was really nice. Before he left, we offered him a cup of coffee that he took us up on. Sometimes, it's just nice to let someone know they are appreciated and he did a really good job hauling all that furniture in by himself (even with a dolly).
The kids are in the gym at church practicing to be a band. They have a name. They have talent. And they want to serve. Good enough. They finally get to practice together with real gear. Cool beans.
Me? I'm going to run by the house, check the mail and go have a cup of java. Yummy.
Other thoughts...
Yesterday, I ran by Walmart and talked to the guy who does glasses. When he saw the different strengths of the lenses, he suggested a contact for my left eye to correct for distance, then a pair of glasses to correct for near. That way there wouldn't be so much disparity between the eyes. I think the thing that has had me most aggravated about my current glasses is fact I can't really read out of the left eye. My eyes don't work together. My right eye is dominant although it is the lazy eye. When I get tired of reading with my right eye, I can cross my right eye and read with my left eye. Except that the script isn't to a point where I can focus on the words. So... When I get my eyes reexamined, he suggested the eye doctor where he worked at as she's pretty patient at getting the scripts right. Now to find out if Tricare will cover it.
That's all for now. Hopefully, when I get home, my ceiling fan will be installed so I can look at the really cool blades! LOL That will also mean I have better light in the living room so I can rubber stamp too!
Work was good today. My nurse made a run to the school warehouse several days ago to pick out a bigger desk, bookcase, chair, and storage cabinet for our offices. It was delivered this morning. The man who delivered it was really nice. Before he left, we offered him a cup of coffee that he took us up on. Sometimes, it's just nice to let someone know they are appreciated and he did a really good job hauling all that furniture in by himself (even with a dolly).
The kids are in the gym at church practicing to be a band. They have a name. They have talent. And they want to serve. Good enough. They finally get to practice together with real gear. Cool beans.
Me? I'm going to run by the house, check the mail and go have a cup of java. Yummy.
Other thoughts...
Yesterday, I ran by Walmart and talked to the guy who does glasses. When he saw the different strengths of the lenses, he suggested a contact for my left eye to correct for distance, then a pair of glasses to correct for near. That way there wouldn't be so much disparity between the eyes. I think the thing that has had me most aggravated about my current glasses is fact I can't really read out of the left eye. My eyes don't work together. My right eye is dominant although it is the lazy eye. When I get tired of reading with my right eye, I can cross my right eye and read with my left eye. Except that the script isn't to a point where I can focus on the words. So... When I get my eyes reexamined, he suggested the eye doctor where he worked at as she's pretty patient at getting the scripts right. Now to find out if Tricare will cover it.
That's all for now. Hopefully, when I get home, my ceiling fan will be installed so I can look at the really cool blades! LOL That will also mean I have better light in the living room so I can rubber stamp too!
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Ever feel like your head isn't screwed on tight?
I've been rather fuzzy-brained lately. Hard to focus. Hard to pay attention. It started about three weeks ago or so.
I can talk to people on the telephone and have no idea what was said when I hang it up. Look straight at someone talking to them and forget what I was going to say as well.
It's been crazy.
I'm still having trouble with my eyes. A friend from my Alpha class does eyeglasses and said he'd take a look at my prescription. He did that today. Recommended that I get a contact for the left eye when I get my new prescription (old one is over a year old). Then when my glasses are made there isn't so much difference between the right eye and the left eye.
I am cross-eyed. The strange part is my lazy eye is my domanent (sp?) eye. At one time I was 20/10 in it. No longer. I have to hold whatever I'm reading at an arm's length to get focused. Makes reading a book rather difficult.
And... for the first time in 7 years, no child support came in this month. It wasn't much to start with but believe me when I say we needed it. I called to speak to him and he wasn't home. So I called the place where he was and let the kids talk to him. No, I didn't ask to speak to him. I'm not particularly sure at this point what I need to say or better yet, what I shouldn't say.
One really cool thing for this past weekend. A friend joined us for lunch on Sunday. She was checking out the dresser I had gotten for Breezy the day before when she saw her fish tank. She asked where the fish were and I told her that I hadn't gotten them for her yet because the tank had only been set up the day before. She asked if Breezy would like goldfish. I said I don't know but whatever she gets has to be small. So she called Breezy and asked. My friend walked out to her car and brought in two goldfish the perfect size for the tank. She had bought them for her tank at home and decided Breezy needed them more. Now how cool is that?
So anyway, here is what I'm doing in my free time. (Gotta love the digital camera!)
The image on the front of the card is a bella. They are just too cute!
I love the reflection off of my clear tablecloth on the bottom of this. It just seems to add an etheral feel to the card. (Yeah, I'm strange.)
These are the fan blades that will soon be on my ceiling fan in the living room. All hand stamped and the background was colored with stamping ink as well.
Last but not least, this is the picture I get in my head when I hear the song "Who am I" by Casting Crowns. Love the song. This is about 15" x 10" in size. Handmade papers, wire. I cut the flowers out freehand. The wires are twisted to form the wind.
Gotta go feed the kids. Soccer practice is over for the night. Later.
I've been rather fuzzy-brained lately. Hard to focus. Hard to pay attention. It started about three weeks ago or so.
I can talk to people on the telephone and have no idea what was said when I hang it up. Look straight at someone talking to them and forget what I was going to say as well.
It's been crazy.
I'm still having trouble with my eyes. A friend from my Alpha class does eyeglasses and said he'd take a look at my prescription. He did that today. Recommended that I get a contact for the left eye when I get my new prescription (old one is over a year old). Then when my glasses are made there isn't so much difference between the right eye and the left eye.
I am cross-eyed. The strange part is my lazy eye is my domanent (sp?) eye. At one time I was 20/10 in it. No longer. I have to hold whatever I'm reading at an arm's length to get focused. Makes reading a book rather difficult.
And... for the first time in 7 years, no child support came in this month. It wasn't much to start with but believe me when I say we needed it. I called to speak to him and he wasn't home. So I called the place where he was and let the kids talk to him. No, I didn't ask to speak to him. I'm not particularly sure at this point what I need to say or better yet, what I shouldn't say.
One really cool thing for this past weekend. A friend joined us for lunch on Sunday. She was checking out the dresser I had gotten for Breezy the day before when she saw her fish tank. She asked where the fish were and I told her that I hadn't gotten them for her yet because the tank had only been set up the day before. She asked if Breezy would like goldfish. I said I don't know but whatever she gets has to be small. So she called Breezy and asked. My friend walked out to her car and brought in two goldfish the perfect size for the tank. She had bought them for her tank at home and decided Breezy needed them more. Now how cool is that?
So anyway, here is what I'm doing in my free time. (Gotta love the digital camera!)
The image on the front of the card is a bella. They are just too cute!
I love the reflection off of my clear tablecloth on the bottom of this. It just seems to add an etheral feel to the card. (Yeah, I'm strange.)
These are the fan blades that will soon be on my ceiling fan in the living room. All hand stamped and the background was colored with stamping ink as well.
Last but not least, this is the picture I get in my head when I hear the song "Who am I" by Casting Crowns. Love the song. This is about 15" x 10" in size. Handmade papers, wire. I cut the flowers out freehand. The wires are twisted to form the wind.
Gotta go feed the kids. Soccer practice is over for the night. Later.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
cars & toothpaste
It's been a week. A very long week.
Monday, my eyes hurt so bad it felt like my eyeballs were going to explode.
Wednesday seemed like the longest day on earth.
Thursday night as I was headed to Walmart, I saw a white 'vette while I was waiting in the turn lane at a light. As the couple went through the light, the 'vette died. I waited for the light, pulled a u-turn to go back and see if I could help. They said no, they were out to test drive it when it died. All I wanted to do was cry and I have no idea why.
Friday, a dear man who goes to our church lost his battle with cancer. He battled so long and so hard. Our athletic field is named after him. His service and burial are tomorrow.
Saturday, my van was nearly repossessed. I was behind on payments and I reacted the way I normally do. If I don't know what to say or do, I do nothing. It came to a head Saturday morning. We cleaned the van completely out because I didn't think I'd have it when I got back from the place I bought it. The gentleman was really nice and I told him that I didn't call because I had no idea what to say or do. I gave him nearly everything I had left in my account and I'll go see him the next three paydays and finish paying it off. All the way there I prayed. I called a friend to have her pray as well. Nothing but the grace of God and the mercy of the owner. Thank you Lord!
Today, I came back into the bookstore and there was a tube of toothpaste (new) sitting on my counter. I remember thinking "I brush my teeth and I'm watching the words I speak, surely this must be someone else's?" Right before I left, a lady came in and said God had told her a while back to give it to me. She said she finally got around to it. As I left today, I was praying God, what is this?
A little while ago, my brother Keith came in and we were talking. I told him about the car, my eyes, the toothpaste. He said "you're being squeezed. What's coming out?" He went on..."How am I reacting to the things that God is pulling out of me? Things like the payment on the van? The head in the sand attitude that isn't helping?" And then he asked who was praying over me. No one that I know specifically. I call occasionally to Andrea or Nancy to pray but no one that I know consistently. Before he left to go to his class, he prayed over me. And all I wanted to do was cry. Still do.
Monday, my eyes hurt so bad it felt like my eyeballs were going to explode.
Wednesday seemed like the longest day on earth.
Thursday night as I was headed to Walmart, I saw a white 'vette while I was waiting in the turn lane at a light. As the couple went through the light, the 'vette died. I waited for the light, pulled a u-turn to go back and see if I could help. They said no, they were out to test drive it when it died. All I wanted to do was cry and I have no idea why.
Friday, a dear man who goes to our church lost his battle with cancer. He battled so long and so hard. Our athletic field is named after him. His service and burial are tomorrow.
Saturday, my van was nearly repossessed. I was behind on payments and I reacted the way I normally do. If I don't know what to say or do, I do nothing. It came to a head Saturday morning. We cleaned the van completely out because I didn't think I'd have it when I got back from the place I bought it. The gentleman was really nice and I told him that I didn't call because I had no idea what to say or do. I gave him nearly everything I had left in my account and I'll go see him the next three paydays and finish paying it off. All the way there I prayed. I called a friend to have her pray as well. Nothing but the grace of God and the mercy of the owner. Thank you Lord!
Today, I came back into the bookstore and there was a tube of toothpaste (new) sitting on my counter. I remember thinking "I brush my teeth and I'm watching the words I speak, surely this must be someone else's?" Right before I left, a lady came in and said God had told her a while back to give it to me. She said she finally got around to it. As I left today, I was praying God, what is this?
A little while ago, my brother Keith came in and we were talking. I told him about the car, my eyes, the toothpaste. He said "you're being squeezed. What's coming out?" He went on..."How am I reacting to the things that God is pulling out of me? Things like the payment on the van? The head in the sand attitude that isn't helping?" And then he asked who was praying over me. No one that I know specifically. I call occasionally to Andrea or Nancy to pray but no one that I know consistently. Before he left to go to his class, he prayed over me. And all I wanted to do was cry. Still do.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Squirrels and birds...
This morning when I went out to throw birdseed for the birds, I encountered a little squirrel enjoying the remnants of yesterday's birdie breakfast.
Now I'm trying to decide if I want to feed the little birds and the lil squirrels. I need to look up and find out how to feed the squirrels without them becoming a nuisance. I'm considering buying corn and making a little holder with nails to put the corn cobs on.
As for bellas, I'm still waiting on Flowahbella and SistahoodBellas to arrive. The cards on SCS are just too cute and the thread in the forums about bellas just keeps getting longer and longer. I've been reading it on and off for three days and still haven't gotten to the end of it. What's up with that? LOL
Oh yeah... I totally missed making a post this weekend. My sister and her husband came down on Saturday to visit their son who is stationed at Corry and stayed with the kids and I until Monday evening. This is the first time she's come down for more than an hour visit since 2001. Normally, we meet at my other sister's house in lower Alabama. That sister also came to visit on Sunday and Monday (she went home on Sunday night). We played cards and sat around and talked. I took 2 ½ hours off on Monday, checked the kids out of school early and joined them in their wanderings.
I can't wait for worship this evening. I've been listening to Matt and Gabe from the last Night of Worship. It's good. Very good. Now if only I could figure out why it errors out at the end rather than repeating the entire cd I'll be set!
And do you ever feel like you've frightened someone? I think I freaked out my friend in Jax. I think he thinks I'm rather weird about God. You know, God has changed my life. Totally. My mouth has been cleaned up, my taste in music has changed (I can't believe I listened to some of the music I used to listen to in the 80's!), I'm more encouraging to those around me and a lot less negative, definitely a lot less depressed! (Read H E A L E D!!!)
Anyway... I'm off for now. I'll have to get in this blog soon and add a couple pics from the actually blogger page and add my tags as well. Later.
This morning when I went out to throw birdseed for the birds, I encountered a little squirrel enjoying the remnants of yesterday's birdie breakfast.
Now I'm trying to decide if I want to feed the little birds and the lil squirrels. I need to look up and find out how to feed the squirrels without them becoming a nuisance. I'm considering buying corn and making a little holder with nails to put the corn cobs on.
As for bellas, I'm still waiting on Flowahbella and SistahoodBellas to arrive. The cards on SCS are just too cute and the thread in the forums about bellas just keeps getting longer and longer. I've been reading it on and off for three days and still haven't gotten to the end of it. What's up with that? LOL
Oh yeah... I totally missed making a post this weekend. My sister and her husband came down on Saturday to visit their son who is stationed at Corry and stayed with the kids and I until Monday evening. This is the first time she's come down for more than an hour visit since 2001. Normally, we meet at my other sister's house in lower Alabama. That sister also came to visit on Sunday and Monday (she went home on Sunday night). We played cards and sat around and talked. I took 2 ½ hours off on Monday, checked the kids out of school early and joined them in their wanderings.
I can't wait for worship this evening. I've been listening to Matt and Gabe from the last Night of Worship. It's good. Very good. Now if only I could figure out why it errors out at the end rather than repeating the entire cd I'll be set!
And do you ever feel like you've frightened someone? I think I freaked out my friend in Jax. I think he thinks I'm rather weird about God. You know, God has changed my life. Totally. My mouth has been cleaned up, my taste in music has changed (I can't believe I listened to some of the music I used to listen to in the 80's!), I'm more encouraging to those around me and a lot less negative, definitely a lot less depressed! (Read H E A L E D!!!)
Anyway... I'm off for now. I'll have to get in this blog soon and add a couple pics from the actually blogger page and add my tags as well. Later.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Easter Egging....
I first heard the term in 1982 used in reference to trouble shooting R-390's. R-390's had electron tubes and when trouble shooting, people would often just get a handful of the appropriate tubes and swap them out one at a time. If it didn't work after swapping out tube "A" replace the original tube "A" and try replacing tube "B" and so on until you find the tube that needed replaced.
This is how I feel a lot of people go about in their dating. When you get tired of "A" or have a disagreement that you don't think is worth resolving, let's give "B" a try. If "B" doesn't work out, let's see how we get along with "C."
And so, we go through our lives looking for the "perfect" fit. Our divorce rates are at the highest ever because it's so easy to divorce and not try, to give up, to find someone new.
In case you wonder, I speak from experience...
In Feb 1982 at 18, I married Steve. Against my Daddy's wishes and with little knowledge of what a marriage required. We knew each other less than 3 months. After nearly a month together on leave (vacation in the military), I moved to Pensacola and he remained in Orlando. We rarely saw each other. After a while, I wanted to have someone around and I'm pretty sure he wanted the same. I began dating in Pensacola and I fairly certain he did the same in Orlando. In August of the same year, my Daddy filed the divorce papers for me. The divorce became final in February 83.
I continued to date until I met Mike in early 85. We married in May 85 and transferred to Guam where he was assigned to a ship and I to shore duty. He spent a great deal of time at sea. Enough time that on his visit to Australia he met a woman there. As for how I know, letters and hotel bills are not things you should bring home with you if you want to stay married. I felt like I had been given a get out of jail free card. I told him I wanted a divorce and we separated. I started dating again. The divorce was final in January 87.
In June 88, I met the kid's dad. We lived together for almost 2 years before we married in May 90. In December 90, I transferred to Japan. He followed in February 91.
Most of the time, it was good. As long as we were drinking and partying, playing games (cribbage, cards, yahtzee), things were good. We did have a lot of good times together. It wasn't all bad.
But when conflict came along, I clammed up. I'm a fight or flight kind of person. Passive aggressive in the long run. For the most part, I would hold my anger. I'll hold it until weeks or even months later, it all came boiling out. By that time, it was never pretty.
Marriages need to be built on trust, friendship, love, having something in common. When they are built on drinking, having fun, sex, etc, they tend to fall apart after a while if nothing else ever comes into the picture.
Time spent together helps build relationships. Ours? In the first 8 years of marriage, he spent three-quarters of it at sea. How we ever managed to have children is beyond me sometimes. He'd come back from sea and we'd have to start all over again it seemed. Me to get used to him being home again and not being "in charge" and "mom and dad." Him back to "responsibility" of husband and father again. It was as hard for me to let go as for him to take up the reins again.
After a while, it got old. He'd be drinking, whether to forget or to party, it was all the same by then. Me? I'd find a book, party, spend money. The spending money part always added to the fray.
Letting go and allowing someone else to help wasn't an option. I didn't know how and I don't think he did either. Counseling didn't help. You have to be willing to admit there was a problem in the first place. I knew there was a problem, I just couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
We moved to England in June of 99. For the first time in my life I felt isolated. No friends, no transportation, two children at home who I had no idea of what to do with. I felt I was losing myself to the insanity. I slipped into depression and then bi-polar/manic depression.
I thought I could hold it together. I tried to hold it together. You can't do it by yourself. And slowly, it finished slipping away.
I gave up. I told him I wanted to leave. I told him I was taking the children with me. And we left. February 27th, 2000, the kids and I got on a plane back to the states.
I didn't look back. I was through. There had to be more than what I was living.
I can't say that it's been better all the time. In fact, things were hard a lot of the time. Things were different and strange. The divorce was final in December 2004. Just the kids and I.
As I let God come in, He has changed me, transformed me, taken me to a place I didn't know I had in me. I no longer have to be dating someone or married to someone to be complete. He is my provider. He is my strength. He has been my comfort. He brought us to a place where we are loved for who we are, not for what we can do for someone else.
He is taking me, us to a new place. And one day, He will send the right man, to be a husband, a father. Not necessarily when I feel the time is right but when He says it's right. Until that time, we are ok and that's good enough for me.
I'm through easter egging.
Edited: I attempted to email this post yesterday but it did not show up. I'm adding it with the appropriate time on it.
I first heard the term in 1982 used in reference to trouble shooting R-390's. R-390's had electron tubes and when trouble shooting, people would often just get a handful of the appropriate tubes and swap them out one at a time. If it didn't work after swapping out tube "A" replace the original tube "A" and try replacing tube "B" and so on until you find the tube that needed replaced.
This is how I feel a lot of people go about in their dating. When you get tired of "A" or have a disagreement that you don't think is worth resolving, let's give "B" a try. If "B" doesn't work out, let's see how we get along with "C."
And so, we go through our lives looking for the "perfect" fit. Our divorce rates are at the highest ever because it's so easy to divorce and not try, to give up, to find someone new.
In case you wonder, I speak from experience...
In Feb 1982 at 18, I married Steve. Against my Daddy's wishes and with little knowledge of what a marriage required. We knew each other less than 3 months. After nearly a month together on leave (vacation in the military), I moved to Pensacola and he remained in Orlando. We rarely saw each other. After a while, I wanted to have someone around and I'm pretty sure he wanted the same. I began dating in Pensacola and I fairly certain he did the same in Orlando. In August of the same year, my Daddy filed the divorce papers for me. The divorce became final in February 83.
I continued to date until I met Mike in early 85. We married in May 85 and transferred to Guam where he was assigned to a ship and I to shore duty. He spent a great deal of time at sea. Enough time that on his visit to Australia he met a woman there. As for how I know, letters and hotel bills are not things you should bring home with you if you want to stay married. I felt like I had been given a get out of jail free card. I told him I wanted a divorce and we separated. I started dating again. The divorce was final in January 87.
In June 88, I met the kid's dad. We lived together for almost 2 years before we married in May 90. In December 90, I transferred to Japan. He followed in February 91.
Most of the time, it was good. As long as we were drinking and partying, playing games (cribbage, cards, yahtzee), things were good. We did have a lot of good times together. It wasn't all bad.
But when conflict came along, I clammed up. I'm a fight or flight kind of person. Passive aggressive in the long run. For the most part, I would hold my anger. I'll hold it until weeks or even months later, it all came boiling out. By that time, it was never pretty.
Marriages need to be built on trust, friendship, love, having something in common. When they are built on drinking, having fun, sex, etc, they tend to fall apart after a while if nothing else ever comes into the picture.
Time spent together helps build relationships. Ours? In the first 8 years of marriage, he spent three-quarters of it at sea. How we ever managed to have children is beyond me sometimes. He'd come back from sea and we'd have to start all over again it seemed. Me to get used to him being home again and not being "in charge" and "mom and dad." Him back to "responsibility" of husband and father again. It was as hard for me to let go as for him to take up the reins again.
After a while, it got old. He'd be drinking, whether to forget or to party, it was all the same by then. Me? I'd find a book, party, spend money. The spending money part always added to the fray.
Letting go and allowing someone else to help wasn't an option. I didn't know how and I don't think he did either. Counseling didn't help. You have to be willing to admit there was a problem in the first place. I knew there was a problem, I just couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
We moved to England in June of 99. For the first time in my life I felt isolated. No friends, no transportation, two children at home who I had no idea of what to do with. I felt I was losing myself to the insanity. I slipped into depression and then bi-polar/manic depression.
I thought I could hold it together. I tried to hold it together. You can't do it by yourself. And slowly, it finished slipping away.
I gave up. I told him I wanted to leave. I told him I was taking the children with me. And we left. February 27th, 2000, the kids and I got on a plane back to the states.
I didn't look back. I was through. There had to be more than what I was living.
I can't say that it's been better all the time. In fact, things were hard a lot of the time. Things were different and strange. The divorce was final in December 2004. Just the kids and I.
As I let God come in, He has changed me, transformed me, taken me to a place I didn't know I had in me. I no longer have to be dating someone or married to someone to be complete. He is my provider. He is my strength. He has been my comfort. He brought us to a place where we are loved for who we are, not for what we can do for someone else.
He is taking me, us to a new place. And one day, He will send the right man, to be a husband, a father. Not necessarily when I feel the time is right but when He says it's right. Until that time, we are ok and that's good enough for me.
I'm through easter egging.
Edited: I attempted to email this post yesterday but it did not show up. I'm adding it with the appropriate time on it.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Monday, February 12, 2007
VOICE RESPONSE SYSTEM NIGHTMARE!!!
VOICE RESPONSE SYSTEM NIGHTMARE!!!
I again attempted to contact Gulf Power concerning my bill. I have been transferred into voice response system hell.
My email to Gulf Power:
"I do not have a current account number as I was transferring my account during the month of January and it was not completed due to MY failure to bring in a copy of the lease.
However when I called today and attempted to get in contact with someone, I had to use your NEW voice response system.
Since I did not have an account number, it wants me to IN PUBLIC give my social security number.
THIS IS WRONG!!!"
This aggravates me to no end. I now need to drive to the office to take care of the paperwork in hopes that my power is still on and I won't be charged a service fee to reinstate service. I truly forgot to take in a copy of the lease and my landlord gave me a copy yesterday.
It's pretty bad when I'd rather have to go through the menu option and press buttons to get to speak to someone. *sigh*
Onto other things....
Our washer and dryer works wonderfully. Getting clothes dried the first time through is a novel approach to laundry! LOL
My tax refund came in. Chaz bought a Nintendo Wii. Breezy got a digital camera. Both are the bomdiggity! I liked Breezy's so much, I bought the same camera.
Chaz and Breezy went to WinterJam on Saturday. They had a blast. Breezy took tons of pictures. She got great pictures of the lead singer of Hawk Nelson who she thinks is the best.
I, on the other hand, chose to stay home this year. My intent was to visit the local flea markets/thrift stores to see what I could find. After the first one though, I decided I needed a haircut. Made a quick call to the lady who usually cuts my hair and she could get me in.
By the time I left, I had a new hair cut and hair color! She mixed the loveliest shade of golden/red. It's gorgeous! I feel like a new person when I look in the mirror! I may have to take a pic and let ya see too.
Saturday night was the singles get together. We played Apples to Apples. What a great game. It's meant for up to 10 players, but we played with 21. We made teams of 2 (and one team of 3) to play. The interaction was amazing. Best get together in forever for us.
I also volunteered to host a movie night sometime in the next month or so.
Anyway, nuff for now.
Friday, February 02, 2007
tws, stuff..
TWS is the bom-diggity. I have managed to catch up with people I thought long lost. Way long lost. The oldest recontact has been with someone I hung out with in 1982. The most recent was someone I was stationed with right before I retired. And then there are the ones in between.
You know those ones. Well, maybe you don't. In my case, it's the one I dated in 84 then split with, we both married other people and transferred to the same place. We both divorced and dated again. We split again and transferred to different places. Only to discover in 90, that we were getting married on the same day at the same time (different time zones) to other people. And while my marriage has fallen apart, his is still going well. Amazing huh?
I've caught back up with YW who was one of the only Christians I knew the entire time I was in the military. I can count "those people" on one hand that I was consciously aware of. But those few people were all at my last command and their behavior and actions spoke volumes. Volumes.
I also realized over the last few weeks how God has protected me from my own stupidity quite often. The things I've flirted with in my life, alcoholism, relationships, the occult. Duh!
I'm grateful for the redeeming grace! Yah!
You know those ones. Well, maybe you don't. In my case, it's the one I dated in 84 then split with, we both married other people and transferred to the same place. We both divorced and dated again. We split again and transferred to different places. Only to discover in 90, that we were getting married on the same day at the same time (different time zones) to other people. And while my marriage has fallen apart, his is still going well. Amazing huh?
I've caught back up with YW who was one of the only Christians I knew the entire time I was in the military. I can count "those people" on one hand that I was consciously aware of. But those few people were all at my last command and their behavior and actions spoke volumes. Volumes.
I also realized over the last few weeks how God has protected me from my own stupidity quite often. The things I've flirted with in my life, alcoholism, relationships, the occult. Duh!
I'm grateful for the redeeming grace! Yah!
Friday, January 19, 2007
God, I don't understand...
I don't understand why good people who serve you faithfully are eatten up with cancer. I don't understand why teenagers are eatten up with cancer.
I know You say in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 (NIV)
But God, I don't get it. I don't see what good there is in babies losing their mom or moms losing their babies.
God help me to understand or at least to have peace. Help me to give comfort to others during this time.
I know You say in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 (NIV)
But God, I don't get it. I don't see what good there is in babies losing their mom or moms losing their babies.
God help me to understand or at least to have peace. Help me to give comfort to others during this time.
crafting...
crafting...
This is the easy entry. I have another post to make that is much deeper and so wanted to do them separately.
Last Saturday, a couple friends and I went to Joanns. I have a gift card that one of them gave me that was burning a hole in my pocket. I figured paper is sale so I could get some more. (Like I needed it? Right?)
Anyway, while I was there, I was wandering the stamp pad aisle and came upon a salesperson and a lady who was trying to find an "embossing buddy." The salesperson didn't know what it was but I did. I explained to them that several companies carried different versions of it and what it was used for. Also that Hobby Lobby (HL) might carry one.
After the salesperson excused herself, I stood and talked with the lady for about 10 minutes or so. She was also looking for an embossing pad. I recommended a different type than what she had and told her that she could probably check HL for that one as well. She asked if I would mind if she called me some time about stamping and maybe we could get together. I told her yes and gave her my number and she gave me hers. I also said maybe I'll see you at HL as well because we were headed there next.
It was nearly an hour before we got to HL. I was wandering through the paint section when she came up and asked me if I would help her with the ink. I pointed out a VersaMark pad which is what I use for embossing and watermark type stamping. (They were on sale! Yah!)
Anyway, I talked to her for a bit more and said goodbye and finished my shopping.
Note to self: I managed to make it through 2 craft stores and spent less than 10 bucks. Now how strange is that but exciting at the same time to exercise that much restraint. *s*
I called my new friend on Tuesday to see how things went with her embossing. She said she had some trouble. I told her that maybe we could get together in a couple weeks maybe we could get together.
Tuesday, I recieved an invite to a new military web site called TogetherWeServed. Absolutely the best. Ever. In less than 24 hours, I located people who I have wondered about for years. The members names are sorted alphabetically or you can search just through your rating, by NEC or duty station. There are forums and messaging available. The traffic is high it appears because the site is having a bit of difficulty keeping up this morning. But as soon as I can afford it, I'm sending them a donation. Best thing I've found for finding people in the military yet. Yah!
Monday, January 08, 2007
My mom is out of surgery. She has about a 6" incision along her right shoulder. The doctor says she did well and she should be able to move her arm a little very soon. It took a plate and 4 screws to fix it.
When I walked in the room after she got out of recovery, she looked so bad. It scared me pretty bad. In fact, I'm pretty sure that she looked better after the heart attack and having a pacemaker put in!
Anyway, I am so grateful that she made it out of the surgery ok. She will stay overnight at the medical center and go home tomorrow. She'll be out of work for 6 weeks and then have to do physical therapy for a while.
Lord, thank you for my Mom and thank you for keeping her safe.
When I walked in the room after she got out of recovery, she looked so bad. It scared me pretty bad. In fact, I'm pretty sure that she looked better after the heart attack and having a pacemaker put in!
Anyway, I am so grateful that she made it out of the surgery ok. She will stay overnight at the medical center and go home tomorrow. She'll be out of work for 6 weeks and then have to do physical therapy for a while.
Lord, thank you for my Mom and thank you for keeping her safe.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
There is a God who loves me...
who wraps me in His arms...
that is the place where I'm changed
and that's where I belong
take me to that place, Lord
to that secret place where
I can be with You
You can make me like You
wrap me in Your arms
wrap me in Your arms
And he's changing me. From glory to glory.
I realized this week that the kids and I have been back in the states for nearly 7 years even.
7 is a number of completion. A moving into new things.
I believe God is moving us to a new place, a new level of maturity, a new thing.
It is good. God is good!
-
Friday night was our first night to stay at our new home. As I crawled into bed, I looked at the wall opposite my bed and was startled. One of the kids had hung up a cross stitched picture I did for my Daddy before he passed away. It is a beautiful piece and has a short little poem about Dads. I'll have to write it down to put it here.
Also, my friend, Amanda, called. She said she had something she wanted to drop off at the house. The beautiful shelf that I had asked her to hold on Monday, then called earlier in the day to tell her to take off hold because I couldn't afford, she brought to me. She said she felt she was supposed to bless us. Blessed I am. She and I unloaded it and put it in the hallway. It's lovely.
After CR, the kids and I went to Walmart to buy food. There was only a turkey and a lasagna in the refrigerator/freezer.
And how did we inaugrate our new home? I picked up the bag holding the gallon of kosher dill pickles and promptly the bottom fell out of the bag. The jar shattered all over the kitchen/dining room floor. I didn't think I would ever get all the pickle juice and glass up.
Yesterday was the first day that we have spent at home for over 24 hours without leaving in over a year and a half. All day in the same place. Breezy and Chaz were not fighting. It was peaceful.
My sister and her two sons came to visit as well. We had fajitas for a late lunch and cheeseball and crackers for a snack.
We also had our first overnight guest. Chaz was so psyched. One of his best friends stayed with us and it was also one of the few times he got to spend the night somewhere other than home.
Today, we'll go home and cook that lasagna for lunch (Breezy will have chicken nuggets).
that is the place where I'm changed
and that's where I belong
take me to that place, Lord
to that secret place where
I can be with You
You can make me like You
wrap me in Your arms
wrap me in Your arms
And he's changing me. From glory to glory.
I realized this week that the kids and I have been back in the states for nearly 7 years even.
7 is a number of completion. A moving into new things.
I believe God is moving us to a new place, a new level of maturity, a new thing.
It is good. God is good!
-
Friday night was our first night to stay at our new home. As I crawled into bed, I looked at the wall opposite my bed and was startled. One of the kids had hung up a cross stitched picture I did for my Daddy before he passed away. It is a beautiful piece and has a short little poem about Dads. I'll have to write it down to put it here.
Also, my friend, Amanda, called. She said she had something she wanted to drop off at the house. The beautiful shelf that I had asked her to hold on Monday, then called earlier in the day to tell her to take off hold because I couldn't afford, she brought to me. She said she felt she was supposed to bless us. Blessed I am. She and I unloaded it and put it in the hallway. It's lovely.
After CR, the kids and I went to Walmart to buy food. There was only a turkey and a lasagna in the refrigerator/freezer.
And how did we inaugrate our new home? I picked up the bag holding the gallon of kosher dill pickles and promptly the bottom fell out of the bag. The jar shattered all over the kitchen/dining room floor. I didn't think I would ever get all the pickle juice and glass up.
Yesterday was the first day that we have spent at home for over 24 hours without leaving in over a year and a half. All day in the same place. Breezy and Chaz were not fighting. It was peaceful.
My sister and her two sons came to visit as well. We had fajitas for a late lunch and cheeseball and crackers for a snack.
We also had our first overnight guest. Chaz was so psyched. One of his best friends stayed with us and it was also one of the few times he got to spend the night somewhere other than home.
Today, we'll go home and cook that lasagna for lunch (Breezy will have chicken nuggets).
Thursday, January 04, 2007
I was thinking and reading my Bible this morning as I waited for the kids to wake up. And I realized that for the past several years, I've been living as if I don't deserve anything. I bought cheap plastic shelves to hold the vhs/dvd collection because I was living in a slum trailer and thought it (and I) didn't deserve any better.
A lot of the motions I've been going through and the things I've been doing have been because I didn't feel I was good enough.
Yesterday morning, Chaz, Breezy, and I went to visit a friend at the flea market/antique shop she works at part time. I found a fabulous shelf thingie in her booth and a beautiful retro table in another booth. I asked her to hold the shelf thingie and talked with the owner about the table. I've no idea how I'll afford it but I'm definitely thinking about it. We've not had a kitchen table in nearly 4 years. Tv trays have been the order of business at our house.
And we are not preparing a house, we are preparing a home.
Just a few thoughts to go with everything else that is running through my mind this morning.
For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." Romans 8:15
A lot of the motions I've been going through and the things I've been doing have been because I didn't feel I was good enough.
Yesterday morning, Chaz, Breezy, and I went to visit a friend at the flea market/antique shop she works at part time. I found a fabulous shelf thingie in her booth and a beautiful retro table in another booth. I asked her to hold the shelf thingie and talked with the owner about the table. I've no idea how I'll afford it but I'm definitely thinking about it. We've not had a kitchen table in nearly 4 years. Tv trays have been the order of business at our house.
And we are not preparing a house, we are preparing a home.
Just a few thoughts to go with everything else that is running through my mind this morning.
For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." Romans 8:15
I was thinking and reading my Bible this morning as I waited for the kids to wake up. And I realized that for the past several years, I've been living as if I don't deserve anything. I bought cheap plastic shelves to hold the vhs/dvd collection because I was living in a slum trailer and thought it (and I) didn't deserve any better.
A lot of the motions I've been going through and the things I've been doing have been because I didn't feel I was good enough.
Yesterday morning, Chaz, Breezy, and I went to visit a friend at the flea market/antique shop she works at part time. I found a fabulous shelf thingie in her booth and a beautiful retro table in another booth. I asked her to hold the shelf thingie and talked with the owner about the table. I've no idea how I'll afford it but I'm definitely thinking about it. We've not had a kitchen table in nearly 4 years. Tv trays have been the order of business at our house.
And we are not preparing a house, we are preparing a home.
Just a few thoughts to go with everything else that is running through my mind this morning.
For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." Romans 8:15
A lot of the motions I've been going through and the things I've been doing have been because I didn't feel I was good enough.
Yesterday morning, Chaz, Breezy, and I went to visit a friend at the flea market/antique shop she works at part time. I found a fabulous shelf thingie in her booth and a beautiful retro table in another booth. I asked her to hold the shelf thingie and talked with the owner about the table. I've no idea how I'll afford it but I'm definitely thinking about it. We've not had a kitchen table in nearly 4 years. Tv trays have been the order of business at our house.
And we are not preparing a house, we are preparing a home.
Just a few thoughts to go with everything else that is running through my mind this morning.
For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." Romans 8:15
no nails...
My fingernails are soft because I've been doing dishes constantly for four days at the new place. I realized just how soft when they started shredding this morning. I've managed to shred all but the thumbs. Those are still thick and healthy. The worse part about shredding them is the tips of my fingers hurt where they are normally covered by the nail. duh.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
insert foot here....
Located: all of the missing Japanese bowls/dishes.
Foot? I talked to M today. He asked if I was flirting with him. I told him no, if I was I would tell him.
The conversation ends. And as I'm thinking about the conversation afterwards, I realized I wasn't quite truthful. And so...
I called him back. And said...
I may not have been at that point flirting but it has definitely crossed my mind.
And he said...
"I'm flattered." And that was about it.
Insert foot, move over, make room for other foot.
I feel so stupid. What a way to start the new year. I feel like a fool.
And so... worship was good. And pastor stood up to pray afterward and said...
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea. Psalm 46:1-2
The sermon is on "New Season." I could use a new season already. I know God is bigger than my mouth. I know He gives grace. I could use an extra dose today.
Foot? I talked to M today. He asked if I was flirting with him. I told him no, if I was I would tell him.
The conversation ends. And as I'm thinking about the conversation afterwards, I realized I wasn't quite truthful. And so...
I called him back. And said...
I may not have been at that point flirting but it has definitely crossed my mind.
And he said...
"I'm flattered." And that was about it.
Insert foot, move over, make room for other foot.
I feel so stupid. What a way to start the new year. I feel like a fool.
And so... worship was good. And pastor stood up to pray afterward and said...
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea. Psalm 46:1-2
The sermon is on "New Season." I could use a new season already. I know God is bigger than my mouth. I know He gives grace. I could use an extra dose today.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
New Year Fun!
For New Year's Day, I did something I've never done before.... Got stuck in the mud. Up to the front axle of my van. In my sister's driveway!
It was a first for her as well. She says she's lived there for 14 years and no one has ever been stuck before. *sigh*
She had to have the neighbor bring his truck over and pull the van out using the rear bumper. It seems my van has nothing to hook a chain onto in the front. I'm grateful that her neighbor had a truck that was big enough to pull the van out!
The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. Standard black-eyed peas for "luck" with pork chops, rice, and corn bread. Yummy! Some cheese dip with chips. What more do you need to eat? Oh yeah, dessert. Tasty chocolate cake with chocolate icing and more chocolate for topping!
Sis and I played 13 games of 313. She stomped me 9 games. I don't think I've ever lost so bad at cards in my life.
Today we popped by the new house and I did a few dishes.
A trip by the Navy Exchange to exchange Breezy's shoes for the right size. After we left she discovered that she has two left shoes. I get to take that pair back. I must remind her that she needs to try on both shoes to ensure that this doesn't happen. Oh well.
I've managed to get an email out with our new mailing address. Updated our addy at the bank, Paypal, amazon, and ebay. Ordered an updated driver's license. oh yeah, my military pay thingie also. I need to contact everyone else to finish that up. The post office would be a good place to have started.
Drove by the old place. The former landlord, it appears, plans to rent it out again!!!! DMV says they can't do anything about it.
Anyway, guess I need to start figuring out what to feed the kids before they are starving.
Tomorrow's agenda? Unpacking!
It was a first for her as well. She says she's lived there for 14 years and no one has ever been stuck before. *sigh*
She had to have the neighbor bring his truck over and pull the van out using the rear bumper. It seems my van has nothing to hook a chain onto in the front. I'm grateful that her neighbor had a truck that was big enough to pull the van out!
The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. Standard black-eyed peas for "luck" with pork chops, rice, and corn bread. Yummy! Some cheese dip with chips. What more do you need to eat? Oh yeah, dessert. Tasty chocolate cake with chocolate icing and more chocolate for topping!
Sis and I played 13 games of 313. She stomped me 9 games. I don't think I've ever lost so bad at cards in my life.
Today we popped by the new house and I did a few dishes.
A trip by the Navy Exchange to exchange Breezy's shoes for the right size. After we left she discovered that she has two left shoes. I get to take that pair back. I must remind her that she needs to try on both shoes to ensure that this doesn't happen. Oh well.
I've managed to get an email out with our new mailing address. Updated our addy at the bank, Paypal, amazon, and ebay. Ordered an updated driver's license. oh yeah, my military pay thingie also. I need to contact everyone else to finish that up. The post office would be a good place to have started.
Drove by the old place. The former landlord, it appears, plans to rent it out again!!!! DMV says they can't do anything about it.
Anyway, guess I need to start figuring out what to feed the kids before they are starving.
Tomorrow's agenda? Unpacking!
Monday, January 01, 2007
Happy New Year!
The kids had a New Year's Eve party hosted by a couple who work the youth at church. There were about 12 kids. After midnight, they gave the boys a ride home and the girls got to spend the night.
I popped in to say hi, left with one of the other adults who picked up the college length twin bed that I had left beside the trailer when I moved out. Helped her get it loaded at the old place and unloaded it at her place.
Had dinner at Ruby Tuesday's. It's so nice to have a decent restaurant on this side of town. The soup and salad were great as always and the blondie brownie with coffee was yummy!
We finished getting moved out of the other place today. My neighbor who also goes to church with us took pictures of it in the event the landlord wants to be difficult. When we moved my bed frame, we discovered an opening about a foot long in the corner of the room that lets you see the siding from the trailer!!
I also walked around the trailer for the first time in forever. It's seriously leaning to the back left corner. I didn't even realize just how much until I started cleaning about 3 weeks ago and noticed a slant to the floor. But after getting the furniture out, it's like WHOA!
I plan on calling the DMV on Tuesday/Wednesday to report it. Did ya know that the DMV handles regulation of mobile homes? Neither did I until Friday.
As of today the kids will have new nicknames. Talia becomes Breezy and Skif becomes Chaz. Talia and Skif were names from my favorite books and as I no longer read the books and have gotten rid of them, I felt it was time for the kids to get new nicknames. Now all I have to do is remember them!
Later today, we'll be back at our new home unpacking. I'm so excited about finally being unpacked. I still can't get over the fact that I've not been completely unpacked since 1989!!! Mind boggling to say the least.
And did I say how grateful I am??? I am so grateful to the Lord for this new place and for my amazing children.
Happy New Year!
I popped in to say hi, left with one of the other adults who picked up the college length twin bed that I had left beside the trailer when I moved out. Helped her get it loaded at the old place and unloaded it at her place.
Had dinner at Ruby Tuesday's. It's so nice to have a decent restaurant on this side of town. The soup and salad were great as always and the blondie brownie with coffee was yummy!
We finished getting moved out of the other place today. My neighbor who also goes to church with us took pictures of it in the event the landlord wants to be difficult. When we moved my bed frame, we discovered an opening about a foot long in the corner of the room that lets you see the siding from the trailer!!
I also walked around the trailer for the first time in forever. It's seriously leaning to the back left corner. I didn't even realize just how much until I started cleaning about 3 weeks ago and noticed a slant to the floor. But after getting the furniture out, it's like WHOA!
I plan on calling the DMV on Tuesday/Wednesday to report it. Did ya know that the DMV handles regulation of mobile homes? Neither did I until Friday.
As of today the kids will have new nicknames. Talia becomes Breezy and Skif becomes Chaz. Talia and Skif were names from my favorite books and as I no longer read the books and have gotten rid of them, I felt it was time for the kids to get new nicknames. Now all I have to do is remember them!
Later today, we'll be back at our new home unpacking. I'm so excited about finally being unpacked. I still can't get over the fact that I've not been completely unpacked since 1989!!! Mind boggling to say the least.
And did I say how grateful I am??? I am so grateful to the Lord for this new place and for my amazing children.
Happy New Year!
Thursday, December 28, 2006
moving...
Moving. Wow. It's going well. God sent an angel to help me!! RF is fabulous. No judging. Just asked what needed to be done and started. Phenomenal attitude about moving and straightening things out. She asked me about zones and I sort of looked at her like "huh?" Zones, you know that you want to use for certain things... books, music, crafts, games, linens, etc. Oh, those. Um.. books over there and dvd's over there! She's going to help me get it all set up.
As I was thinking about this yesterday, I realized that I have not been completely unpacked since 1989. I have had stuff in boxes or shoved in closets in some form or the other since 1990!! And I wonder why it's so hard.
I am really excited though. I know God is preparing us for the future, whatever it may hold.
And while at times I would like to have a husband in the picture, what kind of wife would I make when 3/4 of our meals were eatten out or on the run? When my home looks like a bomb dropped on it?
I am grateful that He is faithful and this is being revealed to me. I have spent most of my life running from the home and lately, I have felt as if I belonged at home but where we were was so bad that I couldn't force myself to be there for anything other than to sleep and even that was difficult at times.
On other notes, I am beginning PRISM again in January. Starting with the first lesson again. This time, I intend to actually follow through with the lessons that go with the program.
Also plan on making time for the kids and I to have Bible study time together. And for me to have more quiet time. We'll actually have a place where we can be comfortable as we study.
And lastly, I plan on praying "Surprise Me God" as much as possible. I know there are days that I may forget but God showed me so much in the last 30 days that I might have missed or not been open to.
As I was thinking about this yesterday, I realized that I have not been completely unpacked since 1989. I have had stuff in boxes or shoved in closets in some form or the other since 1990!! And I wonder why it's so hard.
I am really excited though. I know God is preparing us for the future, whatever it may hold.
And while at times I would like to have a husband in the picture, what kind of wife would I make when 3/4 of our meals were eatten out or on the run? When my home looks like a bomb dropped on it?
I am grateful that He is faithful and this is being revealed to me. I have spent most of my life running from the home and lately, I have felt as if I belonged at home but where we were was so bad that I couldn't force myself to be there for anything other than to sleep and even that was difficult at times.
On other notes, I am beginning PRISM again in January. Starting with the first lesson again. This time, I intend to actually follow through with the lessons that go with the program.
Also plan on making time for the kids and I to have Bible study time together. And for me to have more quiet time. We'll actually have a place where we can be comfortable as we study.
And lastly, I plan on praying "Surprise Me God" as much as possible. I know there are days that I may forget but God showed me so much in the last 30 days that I might have missed or not been open to.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Christmas was good. The kids got what they wanted for Christmas. Between gifts from "Santa" (via the angel tree), mom (me), and aunts and uncles, they were happy. I'm glad. I was really afraid that they would actually be without for a while.
Our family (my mom and her husband, my three sisters, one of my two brothers, and two spouses) were together for Christmas. It was good. We spent alot of time playing cards and talking.
And for the big Christmas present? I've been talking about it for months. I've been dreaming about it for longer.... Huh, what are you talking about?
A new home!!!
I signed a lease today on the new place. And got a key. Tomorrow, a friend, R, is coming to help me get packed and start moving stuff. K is going to go with me to pick up my new bed, dresser, and nightstand that I was given.
I'm dreading telling the landlord as I'm sure he will notice we're packing and want to know why I didn't give him notice. But I absolutely do not want anything to do with him at this point after the year we've had where we are. From the front door that will not seal completely to the broken window that has been broken for two years to the fact the trailer is not level and has not been level since a tree hit the back of it during Ivan, to the guy he was renting to who was breaking in our house stealing our food and stuff that he wouldn't press charges against. (I'm thinking I might have a forgiveness issue to deal with)
Anyway, we are moving. New carpet, new windows, new appliances and all that. We will have fish instead of cats. Talia is content with that. Skif wants a dog but understands we need to wait a bit. I'll be happy not to be feeding an entire neighborhood of cats! 20 pounds of cat food every couple weeks is alot (and expensive)!
I am so grateful for a new place. We are going to pray over it and anoint it before moving in as well. I've got to take over a cd player and start playing music as well.
Guess I should get some sleep so I can get up early and pack. Say a prayer for us!
Our family (my mom and her husband, my three sisters, one of my two brothers, and two spouses) were together for Christmas. It was good. We spent alot of time playing cards and talking.
And for the big Christmas present? I've been talking about it for months. I've been dreaming about it for longer.... Huh, what are you talking about?
A new home!!!
I signed a lease today on the new place. And got a key. Tomorrow, a friend, R, is coming to help me get packed and start moving stuff. K is going to go with me to pick up my new bed, dresser, and nightstand that I was given.
I'm dreading telling the landlord as I'm sure he will notice we're packing and want to know why I didn't give him notice. But I absolutely do not want anything to do with him at this point after the year we've had where we are. From the front door that will not seal completely to the broken window that has been broken for two years to the fact the trailer is not level and has not been level since a tree hit the back of it during Ivan, to the guy he was renting to who was breaking in our house stealing our food and stuff that he wouldn't press charges against. (I'm thinking I might have a forgiveness issue to deal with)
Anyway, we are moving. New carpet, new windows, new appliances and all that. We will have fish instead of cats. Talia is content with that. Skif wants a dog but understands we need to wait a bit. I'll be happy not to be feeding an entire neighborhood of cats! 20 pounds of cat food every couple weeks is alot (and expensive)!
I am so grateful for a new place. We are going to pray over it and anoint it before moving in as well. I've got to take over a cd player and start playing music as well.
Guess I should get some sleep so I can get up early and pack. Say a prayer for us!
Monday, December 25, 2006
Merry Christmas!
For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6 (NIV)
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. Luke 2:14 (KJV)
I am grateful for a God who loves me enough to send His only Sonto earth for our salvation.
This was also our sermon today. A Christmas Story. (It will be able to be viewed on the church web site soon.)
Today, I am grateful for my children, Skif and Talia. I am grateful for my family who we will share the day with. I am grateful for the friends God has put into our lives who put up with us, mentor us, correct us, and love us.
As for Surprise Me God, today is day 28. God showed me today and all these past days how many people He put in our lives who truly care for us.
Merry Christmas to all who pass by this way!
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. Luke 2:14 (KJV)
I am grateful for a God who loves me enough to send His only Sonto earth for our salvation.
This was also our sermon today. A Christmas Story. (It will be able to be viewed on the church web site soon.)
Today, I am grateful for my children, Skif and Talia. I am grateful for my family who we will share the day with. I am grateful for the friends God has put into our lives who put up with us, mentor us, correct us, and love us.
As for Surprise Me God, today is day 28. God showed me today and all these past days how many people He put in our lives who truly care for us.
Merry Christmas to all who pass by this way!
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Surprise Me God, Christmas
I can barely believe that it is day 26 of Surprise Me God. God has surprised me all over the place. From revelation, spiritual growth, a place to live, Christmas presents for the kids.
We haven't started moving yet. Everything isn't finished on the house. But it's ok. We'll move.
I took the kids to the mall today. I figured I'd let them pick out their gifts for each other. Talia found her gift for Skif but Skif couldn't find what he wanted to give Talia. She ended up with a fish tank and Skif ended up with 2 Alabama Crimson Tide t-shirts.
Skif and Talia are getting skateboards for Christmas. Skif will get Legos, a shirt, game for his Game cube and a watch. Talia will get a game, a cd player for her bedroom, earrings, journal and jeans. They are both getting music cd's as well.
A friend asked me if I would put some songs on her daughter's mp3 player that she is getting for Christmas. So here I sit, ripping music to the hard drive of my friend's computer to transfer over. Of course, when I'm through, I'll have to delete everything off the computer. She gave me 10 or eleven cd's to transfer to it. It's a 2 gig mp3 player so it will hold all the songs. I'm thinking I need an mp3 player too!
I cooked dinner for she and her husband and kids tonight. One of the only meals I've cooked in months. 2006 has been the year of eatting out. We probably ate out for over 1/2 of our dinners this year. Not expensive places, but out. I hated going home for any reason and to cook there was even less desirable. I told the kids to enjoy their meals out. Starting next week, we eat at home! Yah!
I have Christmas presents to wrap tomorrow. We'll open them on Christmas morning then drive to my sister's house to spend the day with family.
I'm scooting for now. I know it wasn't much of an update but it's been a good week.
We haven't started moving yet. Everything isn't finished on the house. But it's ok. We'll move.
I took the kids to the mall today. I figured I'd let them pick out their gifts for each other. Talia found her gift for Skif but Skif couldn't find what he wanted to give Talia. She ended up with a fish tank and Skif ended up with 2 Alabama Crimson Tide t-shirts.
Skif and Talia are getting skateboards for Christmas. Skif will get Legos, a shirt, game for his Game cube and a watch. Talia will get a game, a cd player for her bedroom, earrings, journal and jeans. They are both getting music cd's as well.
A friend asked me if I would put some songs on her daughter's mp3 player that she is getting for Christmas. So here I sit, ripping music to the hard drive of my friend's computer to transfer over. Of course, when I'm through, I'll have to delete everything off the computer. She gave me 10 or eleven cd's to transfer to it. It's a 2 gig mp3 player so it will hold all the songs. I'm thinking I need an mp3 player too!
I cooked dinner for she and her husband and kids tonight. One of the only meals I've cooked in months. 2006 has been the year of eatting out. We probably ate out for over 1/2 of our dinners this year. Not expensive places, but out. I hated going home for any reason and to cook there was even less desirable. I told the kids to enjoy their meals out. Starting next week, we eat at home! Yah!
I have Christmas presents to wrap tomorrow. We'll open them on Christmas morning then drive to my sister's house to spend the day with family.
I'm scooting for now. I know it wasn't much of an update but it's been a good week.
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Surprise Me God
The weekend has flown by. We are tremendously blessed. Every time I come to church I am amazed by the people God has put into our lives to encourage us.
I made a comment about this to my nurse (the 1st one) that before we joined the church, we might have had 10 people we associated with. Of those, I would only have considered one a friend. The rest were acquitances.
God has give me a brother who I consider to be closer to Skif and Talia than their real uncles. He's definitely closer to me than my brothers.
I also, for the first time in about three years, chose to share my blog with 2 people here at church. When I moved it last (October 2003), it was because I was angry with a friend who had the url and I didn't feel free to vent although it was and is my blog.
We went to the children's workers Christmas party last night. Our children's pastors have such a heart for children. It shows in everything they do. I think one of my favorite stories to come out of children's church this year was the one of the man who gave his life to Jesus in children's church.
We should be able to start moving this Thursday. YAH! It hasn't come soon enough.
Also, while talking to a friend about recently discovering IKEA catalogs, she said she made a trip to Atlanta to the IKEA store there. We are planning a trip after tax refund time. I'd really like to own this couch. No clue how but boy that orange is the bomb diggity! And this chair is swuft! LOL I know, strange colors for a living room but hey, my tastes are changing. A few years ago, I would never have considered orange or red as an option in my house. Now, I can't wait to try it!
The kids are doing winter wonderland in Youth tonight. The gym is set for around 55 degrees or so. I think the fog machine is going too! Dude was it cold in there!
Today was our Christmas play. Talia had a small role. All the kids from children's church came in for one section of it. They put so many hours working and videoing different sections. It really turned out nice.
I am thankful for a heavenly Father who cares for us and blesses us through the people He surrounds us with.
I made a comment about this to my nurse (the 1st one) that before we joined the church, we might have had 10 people we associated with. Of those, I would only have considered one a friend. The rest were acquitances.
God has give me a brother who I consider to be closer to Skif and Talia than their real uncles. He's definitely closer to me than my brothers.
I also, for the first time in about three years, chose to share my blog with 2 people here at church. When I moved it last (October 2003), it was because I was angry with a friend who had the url and I didn't feel free to vent although it was and is my blog.
We went to the children's workers Christmas party last night. Our children's pastors have such a heart for children. It shows in everything they do. I think one of my favorite stories to come out of children's church this year was the one of the man who gave his life to Jesus in children's church.
We should be able to start moving this Thursday. YAH! It hasn't come soon enough.
Also, while talking to a friend about recently discovering IKEA catalogs, she said she made a trip to Atlanta to the IKEA store there. We are planning a trip after tax refund time. I'd really like to own this couch. No clue how but boy that orange is the bomb diggity! And this chair is swuft! LOL I know, strange colors for a living room but hey, my tastes are changing. A few years ago, I would never have considered orange or red as an option in my house. Now, I can't wait to try it!
The kids are doing winter wonderland in Youth tonight. The gym is set for around 55 degrees or so. I think the fog machine is going too! Dude was it cold in there!
Today was our Christmas play. Talia had a small role. All the kids from children's church came in for one section of it. They put so many hours working and videoing different sections. It really turned out nice.
I am thankful for a heavenly Father who cares for us and blesses us through the people He surrounds us with.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Surprise Me God! 15, 16, 17
God is so good. Even when I don't understand all that is going on around me.
Monday night, we got to watch a Class 3 wrecker assist an 18 wheeler next to Walmart. The driver had not swung the rig wide enough for the turn and the trailer ended up coming lose from the 5th pin on the rig. It was neat to watch how the driver of the Class 3 wrecker hooked up the trailer and lifted it enough that the rig driver could reposition his truck under the trailer. It took nearly an hour but it was something new.
For some reason, my memory of Tuesday is near non-existent. I know it was a good day. I am just foggy at the moment.
Wednesday, I was asked to help prepare a bulletin for a funeral service. The worship was excellent as always.
Today was just emotional. One of our guidance counselors came and asked me to pray with a grandparent about a former student who is in the hospital. Somehow in the midst of my tears, I was able to say something. When I finished, the grandma told me she was more at peace. I'm glad I had the opportunity to pray with her.
The rest of the day was tough. I felt like I had been drained of all my energy. It was strange.
After work, the kids and I went to visit the couple who brought me all the handmade paper. Their home is amazing!!! The colors are bright and beautiful. Much different than anything I would put in a house but they work so well. T asked me if we wanted to join them for dinner. I said sure. And then...
I got to see the machine. DUDE! Whoa! I want one of those! My head is spinning from all the possibilities!
After looking around, C showed me some of the board/materials he uses to make picture frames. Some of this stuff is 60 bucks a foot! That's some expensive picture frames!
Dinner was excellent. T made spaghetti and homemade flat bread to go with it. I really need to get that recipe.
I think the thing that makes me saddest though, is they will be moving soon. Headed to Ohio. I wish I had met them sooner and gotten to know them better. We met during the S.H.A.P.E. class and I have been tremendously blessed by them. And not just because of the paper. They are just wonderful people who love God and it reflects in everything they say and do.
I was actually sad we had to leave to come to church for the drama practice.
Drama practice. If you're in my neck of the woods, stop in around 8:30 or 10:30 and enjoy the drama and say hi. We're always here.
Monday night, we got to watch a Class 3 wrecker assist an 18 wheeler next to Walmart. The driver had not swung the rig wide enough for the turn and the trailer ended up coming lose from the 5th pin on the rig. It was neat to watch how the driver of the Class 3 wrecker hooked up the trailer and lifted it enough that the rig driver could reposition his truck under the trailer. It took nearly an hour but it was something new.
For some reason, my memory of Tuesday is near non-existent. I know it was a good day. I am just foggy at the moment.
Wednesday, I was asked to help prepare a bulletin for a funeral service. The worship was excellent as always.
Today was just emotional. One of our guidance counselors came and asked me to pray with a grandparent about a former student who is in the hospital. Somehow in the midst of my tears, I was able to say something. When I finished, the grandma told me she was more at peace. I'm glad I had the opportunity to pray with her.
The rest of the day was tough. I felt like I had been drained of all my energy. It was strange.
After work, the kids and I went to visit the couple who brought me all the handmade paper. Their home is amazing!!! The colors are bright and beautiful. Much different than anything I would put in a house but they work so well. T asked me if we wanted to join them for dinner. I said sure. And then...
I got to see the machine. DUDE! Whoa! I want one of those! My head is spinning from all the possibilities!
After looking around, C showed me some of the board/materials he uses to make picture frames. Some of this stuff is 60 bucks a foot! That's some expensive picture frames!
Dinner was excellent. T made spaghetti and homemade flat bread to go with it. I really need to get that recipe.
I think the thing that makes me saddest though, is they will be moving soon. Headed to Ohio. I wish I had met them sooner and gotten to know them better. We met during the S.H.A.P.E. class and I have been tremendously blessed by them. And not just because of the paper. They are just wonderful people who love God and it reflects in everything they say and do.
I was actually sad we had to leave to come to church for the drama practice.
Drama practice. If you're in my neck of the woods, stop in around 8:30 or 10:30 and enjoy the drama and say hi. We're always here.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Surprise Me God #14 & 15
Surprise Me God #14
God is so good. He gave me an opportunity to share the things He is doing in my life and the changes he is making.
We also finished the S.H.A.P.E. small group that I have been part of. It was good. I've been absolutely blessed through this class and the people I have met.
I found out that another lady in the church blogs and we're going to swap blog urls. This will be the first person I've shared my blog with in the church.
Surprise Me God #15
Busy day. My poor nurse was out half the day again. She has an upper respiratory infection.
I managed to do most of my statistics for last month and have only a couple forms left to finish.
Finished the last of my Christmas cards. I made 211 + 32 (my nurse's cards). Now all I have to do is write in them and address them.
I also paid my electric bill. Anyone attempted to do this in Pensacola lately? You know... Bill Matrix? Or better yet... attempted to use the new Gulf Power telephone line? Yeah, you know what I mean.
The following is my email to Gulf Power concerning their new "voice" activated system (submitted through their web page as the phone number I was given was disconnected).
I have used the "new" voice activated telephone number for Pensacola (969-3111).
It is absolutely without a doubt the most non-user friendly telephone service I have ever used.
I would prefer NOT to share any of my information regarding my electric bill in public. Speaking to the phone is ridiculous unless I am speaking to a real person which in the case of your new phone system is next to impossible.
Furthermore, when I requested an address where I could file my complaint, the customer service representative who I finally got on the phone gave me a disconnected phone number!
This is unacceptable. Surely, there must be a better solution for your customer service line.
Note: Glad I checked that before sending. Heh, I'd have posted my name and phone number to the internet! EEK!
My surprise? God lets me work where I do and minister to kids. Also, I'm at a point that if He wants me to stay at the school for another year, I'm ok with that. I did plan on leaving the end of the year.
Oh yeah, I have a beautiful visual for a wall hanging thanks to the people who gave me the gorgeous handmade papers. The wife said "Even the most beautiful flower has to go through some dirt to bloom." She didn't know where the quote came from but God gave me an awesome visual last night. I'm going to try to make it out of paper this week. Like that's any surprise! LOL
God is so good. He gave me an opportunity to share the things He is doing in my life and the changes he is making.
We also finished the S.H.A.P.E. small group that I have been part of. It was good. I've been absolutely blessed through this class and the people I have met.
I found out that another lady in the church blogs and we're going to swap blog urls. This will be the first person I've shared my blog with in the church.
Surprise Me God #15
Busy day. My poor nurse was out half the day again. She has an upper respiratory infection.
I managed to do most of my statistics for last month and have only a couple forms left to finish.
Finished the last of my Christmas cards. I made 211 + 32 (my nurse's cards). Now all I have to do is write in them and address them.
I also paid my electric bill. Anyone attempted to do this in Pensacola lately? You know... Bill Matrix? Or better yet... attempted to use the new Gulf Power telephone line? Yeah, you know what I mean.
The following is my email to Gulf Power concerning their new "voice" activated system (submitted through their web page as the phone number I was given was disconnected).
I have used the "new" voice activated telephone number for Pensacola (969-3111).
It is absolutely without a doubt the most non-user friendly telephone service I have ever used.
I would prefer NOT to share any of my information regarding my electric bill in public. Speaking to the phone is ridiculous unless I am speaking to a real person which in the case of your new phone system is next to impossible.
Furthermore, when I requested an address where I could file my complaint, the customer service representative who I finally got on the phone gave me a disconnected phone number!
This is unacceptable. Surely, there must be a better solution for your customer service line.
Note: Glad I checked that before sending. Heh, I'd have posted my name and phone number to the internet! EEK!
My surprise? God lets me work where I do and minister to kids. Also, I'm at a point that if He wants me to stay at the school for another year, I'm ok with that. I did plan on leaving the end of the year.
Oh yeah, I have a beautiful visual for a wall hanging thanks to the people who gave me the gorgeous handmade papers. The wife said "Even the most beautiful flower has to go through some dirt to bloom." She didn't know where the quote came from but God gave me an awesome visual last night. I'm going to try to make it out of paper this week. Like that's any surprise! LOL
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Surprise Me God #12 & 13
I've not had access to make a post but here goes.
Friday. We went and looked at a place to rent. The previous tenant had completely trashed the house and that was the state it was in when I first looked at it (a week earlier). It's a lovely little three bedroom/one bath house. Low roof. All the walls are freshly painted. There will be new carpet through the entire thing. New stove and refrigerator. It has central heat and did have window ac's. But the owner is having it converted to central air as well. He is willing to work with me to pay a deposit and is going to let us start moving in as soon as it's finished being fixed. He believes that will be Friday the 15th. Yah!
There was a party for the worship team as well. It was nice to see everyone who is part of the media team and worship team in one place. There were behind the scene people I had never met.
Saturday. We got to sleep in. Always a pleasure to sleep late.
We finally got out of the house around 12 so we could visit a girl from school who has been in the hospital for nearly two weeks. We took her a Switchfoot cd and book.
Last night was the Singles' Christmas party. There were about 30 people there. Skif went with me since Talia spent the night at a friend's. We had a really good time. We played the "Dirty Santa" game. (It really needs a different name) Lots of laughter over the cooler and the "gremlin" car.
As for Surprise Me God. I'm still surprised every day. Things I'm not expecting happen. One of the ladies from the church offered to give me a full size antique bed with a dresser and nightstand when I was working on buying a house. She told me yesterday she still has it and I can still have it. Thank you Lord! My friend Nancy has been holding a bookcase for me for over a year!
So, that's Friday and Saturday. More later.
Friday. We went and looked at a place to rent. The previous tenant had completely trashed the house and that was the state it was in when I first looked at it (a week earlier). It's a lovely little three bedroom/one bath house. Low roof. All the walls are freshly painted. There will be new carpet through the entire thing. New stove and refrigerator. It has central heat and did have window ac's. But the owner is having it converted to central air as well. He is willing to work with me to pay a deposit and is going to let us start moving in as soon as it's finished being fixed. He believes that will be Friday the 15th. Yah!
There was a party for the worship team as well. It was nice to see everyone who is part of the media team and worship team in one place. There were behind the scene people I had never met.
Saturday. We got to sleep in. Always a pleasure to sleep late.
We finally got out of the house around 12 so we could visit a girl from school who has been in the hospital for nearly two weeks. We took her a Switchfoot cd and book.
Last night was the Singles' Christmas party. There were about 30 people there. Skif went with me since Talia spent the night at a friend's. We had a really good time. We played the "Dirty Santa" game. (It really needs a different name) Lots of laughter over the cooler and the "gremlin" car.
As for Surprise Me God. I'm still surprised every day. Things I'm not expecting happen. One of the ladies from the church offered to give me a full size antique bed with a dresser and nightstand when I was working on buying a house. She told me yesterday she still has it and I can still have it. Thank you Lord! My friend Nancy has been holding a bookcase for me for over a year!
So, that's Friday and Saturday. More later.
Friday, December 08, 2006
30 books of the Bible
30 books of the Bible
I found this puzzle on my travels through the web this morning. I managed to find 22 of the 30. I'm going to try to find the rest before the day is up. Good luck.
~~~~
There are 30 books of the Bible in this paragraph. Can you find them?
This is a most remarkable puzzle. It was found by a gentleman in an airplane seat pocket on a flight from Los Angeles to Honolulu, keeping him occupied for hours. He enjoyed it so much; he passed it on to some friends. One friend from Illinois worked on this while fishing from his john boat. Another friend studied it while playing his banjo, Elaine Taylor, a columnist friend, was so intrigued by it, she mentioned it in her weekly newspaper column. Another friend judges the job of solving this puzzle so involving, she brews a cup of tea to help her nerves. There will be some names that are really easy to spot. That's a fact. Some people, however, will soon find themselves in a jam, especially since the book names are not necessarily capitalized. Truthfully, from answers we get, we are forced to admit it usually takes a minister or a scholar to see some of them at the worst. Research has shown that something in our genes is responsible for the difficult y we have in seeing the books in this paragraph. During a recent fund raising event, which featured this puzzle, the Alpha Delta Phi lemonade booth set a new record. The local paper, The Chronicle, surveyed over 200 patrons who reported that this puzzle was one of most difficult they had ever seen. As Daniel Humana humbly puts it, "The books are all right here in plain view hidden from sight." Those able to find all of them will hear great lamentations from those who have been shown. One revelation that may help is that books like Timothy and Samuel may occur without their numbers. A chipper attitude will help you compete really well against those who claim to know the answers. Remember, there is no need for a mad exodus, there really are 30 books of the Bible lurking somewhere in this paragraph waiting to be found. God Bless!
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Surprise Me God #11
Surprised I am. Other than the long post for day 10 that I sent earlier, it was busy. (That part wasn't the surprise)
I think the two most amazing things are (1)I feel so strongly about what I posted earlier. It's hard to believe that I've gotten to a point where the grey is disappearing.
(2) Someone from my small group told me they had some handmade paper that they wanted to give me. Imagine my surprise when they came into the clinic today with about 100 sheets of 2x3 foot handmade paper! Gorgeous papers. I thought he meant 4-6 sheets maybe. This is mind-numbing. One of the first sheets I picked up, all I could think was I need to decoupage this onto a 2x3 canvas and hang it on the wall! Whoa!
Anyway, I must go for now. God is so good!
I think the two most amazing things are (1)I feel so strongly about what I posted earlier. It's hard to believe that I've gotten to a point where the grey is disappearing.
(2) Someone from my small group told me they had some handmade paper that they wanted to give me. Imagine my surprise when they came into the clinic today with about 100 sheets of 2x3 foot handmade paper! Gorgeous papers. I thought he meant 4-6 sheets maybe. This is mind-numbing. One of the first sheets I picked up, all I could think was I need to decoupage this onto a 2x3 canvas and hang it on the wall! Whoa!
Anyway, I must go for now. God is so good!
Surprise Me God #10
Surprise Me God #10
Gray areas of life. The fringe places that we see. The places where we don't care one way or another. Maybe. I don't care. Whatever.
Tuesday night, I ended up in a conversation about yes, no and grey areas. I had said when I talk to the kids oftentimes I will just ask "do you have a stomachache? Yes or No" There is no maybe, there is no "I had one this morning." Do you have one right now... Yes or No.
It seems God is removing the grey areas from my life. I'm either for Him or against Him. There is no lukewarm.
Wednesday, it escalated. And how did I get to this point? This rabbit trail of information?
Skif told me last night, he wanted to put the Weird Al Yankovich version of that song as his ring tone when he gets his own cell phone.
I told him "no." I don't approve. The original is completely wrong. Foul language, sexual references, breaking the law. And that's just the parts that I can understand. I'd have to look up the rest. (I actually asked the school resource officer to help me with what it meant.)
If I let him put the remake on as a ring tone, what do you hear? What is the first thing that comes to mind if you aren't a Christian? Is it the funny version or the original version? What type of message am I sending? If I allow it, then as far as I can tell, I'm saying I approve of the behavior in the song.
I brought up the tv show that we have argued over already. It doesn't matter that the people on the show are being nice and fixing up someone's car for them. What does the title say?
I have tried to explain that a p*mp is a person, esp. a man, who solicits customers for a prostitute or a brothel, usually in return for a share of the earnings; pander; procurer. (definition from dictionary.com)
If I allow her to watch the show, I am condoning and approving of it. Title and all. It's not right.
At some point, I have to chose to make a stand. What message am I sending? What message do I want to send? Am I for God or against God?
This may sound totally over the top. But where is the line in the sand? And as the waves come, the line moves and how long does it take for my sense of the moral and ethic to change to where it is unrecognizable from the world's?
To say that this created a storm in my house is an understatement. Skif was mad and said all you and Talia do is fight.
It's hard to explain to an 11 year old. When we got home, she ran into our room and began to sob. I went in to try and talk to her but she wasn't hearing me. I gave up and went back to the living room.
Then I called Skif out. I asked him if he was proud of the reaction that occured? I explained that his egging things on does not help. I tried to explain the song thing and car thing. I tried to explain that it's yes or no and if he choses to accept those things how long before he's doing things that aren't acceptable in God's eyes? He finally went to bed. He's still angry today.
Talia came out and climbed up in my lap after about 30 minutes. We talked for quite a while. I started over explaining the whole song/car thing again. Then I asked her what Jesus would say about the song/car issue. She told me he wouldn't listen it/watch to it. I asked her why she would? She told me that they do something good in the show. Again I explained it's either you agree or you don't agree. You're saying that Jesus wouldn't watch it because it's showing the wrong things but it's still ok for you. Where is the right or wrong in this?
As I talked to her, I compared her to a flower. She is just a bud right now. The things of this world want to batter and scar her, tearing at her, causing her to compromise. And with these things happening, when she blooms, she too will be bruised and torn.
God wants her whole, pure, holy. The fragrance pleasing and acceptable to the Lord.
I know the things I talked with her about may be over her head a bit, but I want her to think about these things.
And as we talked, she brought up a scripture that the youth pastor used during his sermon.
I told her this was a good example.
I asked her the following question. If you aren't a Christian but you give a lot of money to help the poor, where will you go... Heaven or Hell? Did it make any difference that you were good if you didn't know the Lord, if you aren't saved?
Sometimes we have to chose to make a stand. It may not be popular. It may not make you popular. But who am I supposed to be pleasing? Man or God?
Is the life I'm leading one that makes a glorifies God? Are the things I am chosing to do say I'm following Christ?
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Surprise Me God #9
This is an email I wrote today to share with someone at work. It came out of a conversation we had and she asked for me to cheer her up that she needed some of what I have. This is where I am today. Surprise me God...
This may be more than you were looking for but it's where my head is today. I truly realized I think for the first time, that I am here for more than just taking care of these kids (even the ones who irritate me). God put me here to encourage them when there is no else encouraging them. To let them know they count and they have a future when it looks like hell is raining around them. And so many of them are living in that hell.
Do we (you, I and so many others here) make a difference? Do we lose our focus and just see a sea of faces and miss the hurt? See another body and forget to care?
I know I get to that point sometimes and it takes a lot to turn it around. Sometimes a song, sometimes a sermon.
I know you know how much I listen to Christian music. But I thought I'd share this one with you and then at the bottom there are a couple notes from a web site that just seem to speak.
I pray both speak to you as well. I know some days I look like I'm "out there" when I'm walking around singing. But sometimes, singing to God is the only thing keeping me from crying and screaming.
Deb
~~~
She is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
She is trying
But the canyon's ever widening
In the depths of her cold heart
So she sets out on another misadventure just to find
She's another two years older
And she's three more steps behind
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
She is yearning
For shelter and affection
That she never found at home
She is searching
For a hero to ride in
To ride in and save the day
And in walks her prince charming
And he knows just what to say
Momentary lapse of reason
And she gives herself away
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
If judgement looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we never even met her
If judgment looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we never even met her
Never even met her
Does anybody hear her? Does anybody see?
Or does anybody even knows she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Does anybody see?
Does anybody even know she's going down today?
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Does anybody see?
He is running a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
~~~
Highlighted areas are my emphasis. I was thinking about some of the kids I've seen and some of the tales I've heard since I started working here. I did not write these two letters. I just copied them from the Casting Crowns web site I was reading.
~~~
This morning I was driving in to work listening to our local Christian radio station and "Does Anybody Hear Her" came on the radio. I own all Casting Crown CD's, having been to several concerts and am a regular fan. I had listened to the aforementioned song dozens of times. Yet this morning the lyrics zoomed straight to my heart. In listening to this song in the past, my mind's eye would be flooded with images…an image of my sister who has struggled with drug abuse for years, suffered abusive boyfriends, and is now serving time in jail. There were the hundreds of images of the at-risk teens I have ministered to over the last seven years, young girls pregnant and scared, teen boys running with gangs, youth cutting on their own bodies in a desperate attempt to release the pain they feel inside.
A new image came into view today. An image of my husband who I recently learned struggles with the chains of pornography. While the hurt and the confusion I feel inside from that revelation is very real, I also know that those chains came from the master of deception, Satan. My husband wants to change and be freed from those chains. My sister wants to be freed from the chains of her addictions. The youth I have worked with want to be freed from the chains of their pain. How relevant "Does Anybody Hear Her" and "Set Me Free", along with nearly every other song on the 'Lifesong' play list speaks into my life and the lives of my loved ones. Those songs serve as a soundtrack to our lives and also as an instrument of hope – speaking truth amidst the lies of the evil one. "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10 Praise the Lord!
~~~~~~
My favorite songs from you are Lifesong, Who Am I and Voice of Truth. These touch me deeply and speak to my soul.
When God spoke to me at 30 to move from my hometown and then at 33 to take a totally different career path and become a teacher, I knew that it was His voice but couldn't understand why He was leading me this way. It didn't make 'worldly sense' for me to move 1200 miles away from the place I grew up, go back to college and work as a teacher for less than I make at my own business but I knew it was God's will. I will be finishing school soon and have an excitement within my soul because I know God has a purpose for me in education and in this new place that He's planted our family in. Even if His plan is for me to touch just one child, that is what I'm going to do and I want to be a part of that.
Someday, even if not in this life, I believe the purpose for our move and my career change will be revealed. I can't wait to see it. When I listen to Voice of Truth..it speaks to me all about both of these situations and having the faith to step out even when it's scary and doesn't "make sense." Taking that chance to step out of your own will and into God's brings such a spiritual reward and more peace in your soul than can be described in words.
I appreciate you and your music.
~~~~~~
I'm not sure how this post will turn out. I'm sending it from work and if it needs editing to be understood, I'll fix it when I log in next.
Edited to add labels and title.
This may be more than you were looking for but it's where my head is today. I truly realized I think for the first time, that I am here for more than just taking care of these kids (even the ones who irritate me). God put me here to encourage them when there is no else encouraging them. To let them know they count and they have a future when it looks like hell is raining around them. And so many of them are living in that hell.
Do we (you, I and so many others here) make a difference? Do we lose our focus and just see a sea of faces and miss the hurt? See another body and forget to care?
I know I get to that point sometimes and it takes a lot to turn it around. Sometimes a song, sometimes a sermon.
I know you know how much I listen to Christian music. But I thought I'd share this one with you and then at the bottom there are a couple notes from a web site that just seem to speak.
I pray both speak to you as well. I know some days I look like I'm "out there" when I'm walking around singing. But sometimes, singing to God is the only thing keeping me from crying and screaming.
Deb
~~~
She is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
She is trying
But the canyon's ever widening
In the depths of her cold heart
So she sets out on another misadventure just to find
She's another two years older
And she's three more steps behind
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
She is yearning
For shelter and affection
That she never found at home
She is searching
For a hero to ride in
To ride in and save the day
And in walks her prince charming
And he knows just what to say
Momentary lapse of reason
And she gives herself away
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
If judgement looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we never even met her
If judgment looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we never even met her
Never even met her
Does anybody hear her? Does anybody see?
Or does anybody even knows she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Does anybody see?
Does anybody even know she's going down today?
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Does anybody see?
He is running a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
~~~
Highlighted areas are my emphasis. I was thinking about some of the kids I've seen and some of the tales I've heard since I started working here. I did not write these two letters. I just copied them from the Casting Crowns web site I was reading.
~~~
This morning I was driving in to work listening to our local Christian radio station and "Does Anybody Hear Her" came on the radio. I own all Casting Crown CD's, having been to several concerts and am a regular fan. I had listened to the aforementioned song dozens of times. Yet this morning the lyrics zoomed straight to my heart. In listening to this song in the past, my mind's eye would be flooded with images…an image of my sister who has struggled with drug abuse for years, suffered abusive boyfriends, and is now serving time in jail. There were the hundreds of images of the at-risk teens I have ministered to over the last seven years, young girls pregnant and scared, teen boys running with gangs, youth cutting on their own bodies in a desperate attempt to release the pain they feel inside.
A new image came into view today. An image of my husband who I recently learned struggles with the chains of pornography. While the hurt and the confusion I feel inside from that revelation is very real, I also know that those chains came from the master of deception, Satan. My husband wants to change and be freed from those chains. My sister wants to be freed from the chains of her addictions. The youth I have worked with want to be freed from the chains of their pain. How relevant "Does Anybody Hear Her" and "Set Me Free", along with nearly every other song on the 'Lifesong' play list speaks into my life and the lives of my loved ones. Those songs serve as a soundtrack to our lives and also as an instrument of hope – speaking truth amidst the lies of the evil one. "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10 Praise the Lord!
~~~~~~
My favorite songs from you are Lifesong, Who Am I and Voice of Truth. These touch me deeply and speak to my soul.
When God spoke to me at 30 to move from my hometown and then at 33 to take a totally different career path and become a teacher, I knew that it was His voice but couldn't understand why He was leading me this way. It didn't make 'worldly sense' for me to move 1200 miles away from the place I grew up, go back to college and work as a teacher for less than I make at my own business but I knew it was God's will. I will be finishing school soon and have an excitement within my soul because I know God has a purpose for me in education and in this new place that He's planted our family in. Even if His plan is for me to touch just one child, that is what I'm going to do and I want to be a part of that.
Someday, even if not in this life, I believe the purpose for our move and my career change will be revealed. I can't wait to see it. When I listen to Voice of Truth..it speaks to me all about both of these situations and having the faith to step out even when it's scary and doesn't "make sense." Taking that chance to step out of your own will and into God's brings such a spiritual reward and more peace in your soul than can be described in words.
I appreciate you and your music.
~~~~~~
I'm not sure how this post will turn out. I'm sending it from work and if it needs editing to be understood, I'll fix it when I log in next.
Edited to add labels and title.
Monday, December 04, 2006
Surprise Me God #8
Yes, I missed #7. The day was good though. The sermon was dead on. Score another for God. This battle I have over a house and finances. God's bigger than all that.
Just need an answer. I can't see it. And I'm a pretty visual person. I need to be able to see. Guess that's part of my problem. I'm trying to see faith. Or something like that.
There's something dead under the trailer. Last night was a little nosy to say the least. Today is absolutely unbearable. I talked to my neigbor about looking under the trailer since the landlord had already gone to work.
I came home this evening and can't stay there. I'm at the other debi's house. Landlord called after I got here and said he'd check it out tomorrow after he gets off work.
On other notes, I found a beautiful suede feeling jacket to wear to the church volunteer banquet last night. It's burnt orange in color. Scrumpcious to wear. It's been a long long time since I bought something so nice to wear. It was definitely a splurge although realitively unexpensive. It's not a pair of jeans or something I can wear to work. Just special occasions.
One of the most interesting things about the banquet was what I didn't find out until I was leaving... There was a reserved spot for me at one of the reserved tables for staff. Although I'm running the bookstore and the library, I just don't consider myself staff because I work full time elsewhere. I saved the placecard as a souvenir.
Today. Busy busy busy. Over 70 kids in the clinic again today. It just seemed like a never ending stream.
The kids and I went to visit one of the student's in the hospital today. She's been there for nearly a week and has two more weeks to go. She's got so much potential. I just wish she could see it. We'll go up and see her again on Saturday. Also added her to the church prayer list.
Another surprise for the day was the email I got from my supervisor asking if I had considered trying to obtain housing using the healthcare professional route. Healthcare professional? This never occured to me either. I always see myself as just retired Navy working to keep my head and the kids head above water.
So, in two days God surprised me by showing me that I am more than what I think of myself as. It seems He is trying to get me to see myself as He does and as others sometimes do. Healthcare professional and Church staff in two days. I truly have never thought of this. Thank you Lord for enlightenment.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day. It's also the church staff Christmas party. Again, I am stunned I was even invited. Let alone considered staff. I have the childcare set up so I can attend.
The rest of the week is busy as well. Church on Wednesday night. It's First Wednesday. The day that both the North Campus and our south campus get together for worship, baptisms, fellowship dinner, and a good service. The worship is always phenomenal. Two awesome worship leaders to bring you into the presence of God. What more can you ask for?
Friday night is the worship team Christmas party. No kids allowed. I've not gotten childcare yet but may attempt to. I've been working with the worship team for two years now. I didn't realize that until I blew my blog up last month. I run the overheads with the words to the songs on Wednesday nights.
Saturday night is our Singles Christmas party. Again, no kids.
Three events in one week with no kids. It's rather hard for me to wrap my head around. I rarely go anywhere without the kids. Even stranger is to have 3 parties to go to! I can honestly say that this has never occured before. I actually fit in and help make a difference.
Sunday. Sunday is the final class of S.H.A.P.E. What an awesome class. I wasn't even going to take the class until I saw who was leading it. The couple leading it are the parents of one of our worship team members and they themselves have been doing worship for years. I'm not even sure of their age but suspect they are nearly 20 years older than me. Both are amazing. She has the sweetest spirit and a lovely gift of hospitality. He is a great teacher inclined to get excited about what he is teaching. I met them when he worked VBS this summer.
At the end of the class, we have the option of turning in copies of the last few pages of our workbooks into the church for evaluation of where we could possibility fit into the ministry. I know I'm already doing ministry work but wow, God could open a new door!
I've actually pondered attaching a copy of my resume to the back of the workbook before I hand it in. I've often said that one day I'd like to be the receptionist or secretary there. *s*
Anyway, it's bed time. God has surprised me again. I have no idea why I am but I am. He is so good and so faithful. Thank you Lord.
Just need an answer. I can't see it. And I'm a pretty visual person. I need to be able to see. Guess that's part of my problem. I'm trying to see faith. Or something like that.
There's something dead under the trailer. Last night was a little nosy to say the least. Today is absolutely unbearable. I talked to my neigbor about looking under the trailer since the landlord had already gone to work.
I came home this evening and can't stay there. I'm at the other debi's house. Landlord called after I got here and said he'd check it out tomorrow after he gets off work.
On other notes, I found a beautiful suede feeling jacket to wear to the church volunteer banquet last night. It's burnt orange in color. Scrumpcious to wear. It's been a long long time since I bought something so nice to wear. It was definitely a splurge although realitively unexpensive. It's not a pair of jeans or something I can wear to work. Just special occasions.
One of the most interesting things about the banquet was what I didn't find out until I was leaving... There was a reserved spot for me at one of the reserved tables for staff. Although I'm running the bookstore and the library, I just don't consider myself staff because I work full time elsewhere. I saved the placecard as a souvenir.
Today. Busy busy busy. Over 70 kids in the clinic again today. It just seemed like a never ending stream.
The kids and I went to visit one of the student's in the hospital today. She's been there for nearly a week and has two more weeks to go. She's got so much potential. I just wish she could see it. We'll go up and see her again on Saturday. Also added her to the church prayer list.
Another surprise for the day was the email I got from my supervisor asking if I had considered trying to obtain housing using the healthcare professional route. Healthcare professional? This never occured to me either. I always see myself as just retired Navy working to keep my head and the kids head above water.
So, in two days God surprised me by showing me that I am more than what I think of myself as. It seems He is trying to get me to see myself as He does and as others sometimes do. Healthcare professional and Church staff in two days. I truly have never thought of this. Thank you Lord for enlightenment.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day. It's also the church staff Christmas party. Again, I am stunned I was even invited. Let alone considered staff. I have the childcare set up so I can attend.
The rest of the week is busy as well. Church on Wednesday night. It's First Wednesday. The day that both the North Campus and our south campus get together for worship, baptisms, fellowship dinner, and a good service. The worship is always phenomenal. Two awesome worship leaders to bring you into the presence of God. What more can you ask for?
Friday night is the worship team Christmas party. No kids allowed. I've not gotten childcare yet but may attempt to. I've been working with the worship team for two years now. I didn't realize that until I blew my blog up last month. I run the overheads with the words to the songs on Wednesday nights.
Saturday night is our Singles Christmas party. Again, no kids.
Three events in one week with no kids. It's rather hard for me to wrap my head around. I rarely go anywhere without the kids. Even stranger is to have 3 parties to go to! I can honestly say that this has never occured before. I actually fit in and help make a difference.
Sunday. Sunday is the final class of S.H.A.P.E. What an awesome class. I wasn't even going to take the class until I saw who was leading it. The couple leading it are the parents of one of our worship team members and they themselves have been doing worship for years. I'm not even sure of their age but suspect they are nearly 20 years older than me. Both are amazing. She has the sweetest spirit and a lovely gift of hospitality. He is a great teacher inclined to get excited about what he is teaching. I met them when he worked VBS this summer.
At the end of the class, we have the option of turning in copies of the last few pages of our workbooks into the church for evaluation of where we could possibility fit into the ministry. I know I'm already doing ministry work but wow, God could open a new door!
I've actually pondered attaching a copy of my resume to the back of the workbook before I hand it in. I've often said that one day I'd like to be the receptionist or secretary there. *s*
Anyway, it's bed time. God has surprised me again. I have no idea why I am but I am. He is so good and so faithful. Thank you Lord.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Surprise Me God #6
Today was interesting. Particularly since it didn't end until 3 a.m.! After CR last night, Skif and I went to the birthday party. I ended up talking to A until it was time for the girls to make their journals. I got to talk them through the making of them. It was interesting to say the least.
Sleeping in the morning was good. No one knocking on the door was a blessing! Yah!
A trip over to pick up Talia ended up being sitting and talking to A for another 3 hours. We talked about doing journals and name plaques to hang on the walls. It was good.
Then to Deb's to go into Foley and to Hobby Lobby in Daphne. We spent way too much time in Foley but I did manage to find bras at an excellent price. By the time I send in the rebate/free bra thing, I will have gotten 4 bras for less than the normal price of 2! Yah!
We got to Hobby Lobby as they were closing. I sort of just headed for the back as they were announcing they were closing. I needed glue desperately to finish my Christmas cards. I got 2 tubes and found a set of alphabet chipboard letters.
I'm actually thinking about selling all these cards I'm making and just buying Christmas cards to send out. I know that sounds weird, but I normally sell my cards for $2.50 each. I could sell these for $2 each and I have 250 made. I could package them 5 to a pack and sell them for $10. Or $12 with envelopes. Who knows.
I talked to the kids' dad today too. He's putting a little extra into the bank for their Christmas. They both asked for money as part of their Christmas so I'm going to give them 1/2 of the money in cash so they can buy what they want. Skif wants a ball cap and Alabama jersey. Talia wants earrings. She's loving having her ears pierced. I suspect she'll get her second piercing with her money. This is a major blessing. Even with the church helping with gifts, I had been worried about their gifts.
I'm about at the point that we are going to rent for a while. I have a rental that has been offered to us. It should be available this week coming up. I'm not sure how we'll swing the first two months rent with Christmas holiday and no pay coming in, but hey, I keep saying God's bigger than my housing problem. I need to stand on it.
I guess it's time for bed. The day has been really good. It was a blessing to get to talk to Deb today. We don't get to talk as much as we used to. I enjoy the conversation.
Thank you Lord for the beautiful sunset!
Sleeping in the morning was good. No one knocking on the door was a blessing! Yah!
A trip over to pick up Talia ended up being sitting and talking to A for another 3 hours. We talked about doing journals and name plaques to hang on the walls. It was good.
Then to Deb's to go into Foley and to Hobby Lobby in Daphne. We spent way too much time in Foley but I did manage to find bras at an excellent price. By the time I send in the rebate/free bra thing, I will have gotten 4 bras for less than the normal price of 2! Yah!
We got to Hobby Lobby as they were closing. I sort of just headed for the back as they were announcing they were closing. I needed glue desperately to finish my Christmas cards. I got 2 tubes and found a set of alphabet chipboard letters.
I'm actually thinking about selling all these cards I'm making and just buying Christmas cards to send out. I know that sounds weird, but I normally sell my cards for $2.50 each. I could sell these for $2 each and I have 250 made. I could package them 5 to a pack and sell them for $10. Or $12 with envelopes. Who knows.
I talked to the kids' dad today too. He's putting a little extra into the bank for their Christmas. They both asked for money as part of their Christmas so I'm going to give them 1/2 of the money in cash so they can buy what they want. Skif wants a ball cap and Alabama jersey. Talia wants earrings. She's loving having her ears pierced. I suspect she'll get her second piercing with her money. This is a major blessing. Even with the church helping with gifts, I had been worried about their gifts.
I'm about at the point that we are going to rent for a while. I have a rental that has been offered to us. It should be available this week coming up. I'm not sure how we'll swing the first two months rent with Christmas holiday and no pay coming in, but hey, I keep saying God's bigger than my housing problem. I need to stand on it.
I guess it's time for bed. The day has been really good. It was a blessing to get to talk to Deb today. We don't get to talk as much as we used to. I enjoy the conversation.
Thank you Lord for the beautiful sunset!
Friday, December 01, 2006
Surprise Me God #5
I was a bit more courageous this morning than yesterday morning saying "Surprise Me God."
I would never have guessed it would be so hard to say 3 words! And people think saying "I love you" is difficult?
Surprise me God. It's mind boggling. I get up in the morning and I'm half afraid to say it. What will God throw my way today? Will it be good? Bad? Will I make a difference in someone's life? Will someone make a difference in mine?
The unknown is a scary thing. It's like stepping into the dark not knowing if the floor is going to be there or not.
It takes faith. I'm still not sure mine's that strong. But I'm going to go for the gusto and see how long it lasts.
After the tire blew out/shredded last night, I am so grateful to God. That tire could have gone out while I was driving 70 mph on I-10 over the weekend! The thought is horrifying as to what could have happened.
Today, we got up early to go to Wally World to get the tire replaced. At least I thought we would be early. We got there at 6:45 a.m. and there were 3 cars in line in front of us. Ouch. 2 of them were for tires. Ouch again.
So... we get out and go in the store anyway figuring on waiting for them to do the van anyway and just be late for work.
I ran into my nurse who changed schools and talked to her for a bit, then ran into a guy from work and asked if he could give us a lift to school. Score! He could. So we weren't late for work or school. Thank you Lord!
The day was busy but not unmanageably so. My nurse bought lunch. Thanks M! Thank you Lord!
I got a call from the church that is "helping" the kids if needed. The lady had a jacket for both Skif and Talia. We could pick them up after school. Again Score! Talia and Skif both loved the jackets. Talia's wasn't too girly-girl and Skif's was the perfect size and he liked the style. Yeah! Thank you Lord!
I dropped Talia off at a birthday party and Skif and I came to church to set up for CR. It was already set up! Score! Thank you Lord! It takes us about 1/2 an hour to put out all the chairs and tables needed for the meeting. It was a blessing not to have to.
My friend Deb came in and shared a youtube video with me that made me laugh.
Hopefully, you'll laugh as much as I did. It was good. It's also the first youtube video I've ever seen.
Oh yeah, I went to my PRISM meeting last night. I really should keep up in the workbook for this. And stick to the plan. I'd probably weight about 30 pounds less by now rather than 10 pounds less. But the video was the most interesting part. Session 9 covered eatting because of apathy, anger, and perfectionism. I can relate to the apathy and perfectionism. It's hard to admit but as Lizziejoy pointed out in my comments, I'm all about doing it perfectly. And if I can't do it perfectly, then I don't want to do it at all. This applies in most areas of my life. As for the apathy part, I saw a picture over Thanksgiving of me when I weighed 135 pounds! Whoa! I was a toothpick. And the thought ran through my head, "If you can't be that small again, why try?"
God's working on me. I know he is. Thanks Lord for my surprises today!
I would never have guessed it would be so hard to say 3 words! And people think saying "I love you" is difficult?
Surprise me God. It's mind boggling. I get up in the morning and I'm half afraid to say it. What will God throw my way today? Will it be good? Bad? Will I make a difference in someone's life? Will someone make a difference in mine?
The unknown is a scary thing. It's like stepping into the dark not knowing if the floor is going to be there or not.
It takes faith. I'm still not sure mine's that strong. But I'm going to go for the gusto and see how long it lasts.
After the tire blew out/shredded last night, I am so grateful to God. That tire could have gone out while I was driving 70 mph on I-10 over the weekend! The thought is horrifying as to what could have happened.
Today, we got up early to go to Wally World to get the tire replaced. At least I thought we would be early. We got there at 6:45 a.m. and there were 3 cars in line in front of us. Ouch. 2 of them were for tires. Ouch again.
So... we get out and go in the store anyway figuring on waiting for them to do the van anyway and just be late for work.
I ran into my nurse who changed schools and talked to her for a bit, then ran into a guy from work and asked if he could give us a lift to school. Score! He could. So we weren't late for work or school. Thank you Lord!
The day was busy but not unmanageably so. My nurse bought lunch. Thanks M! Thank you Lord!
I got a call from the church that is "helping" the kids if needed. The lady had a jacket for both Skif and Talia. We could pick them up after school. Again Score! Talia and Skif both loved the jackets. Talia's wasn't too girly-girl and Skif's was the perfect size and he liked the style. Yeah! Thank you Lord!
I dropped Talia off at a birthday party and Skif and I came to church to set up for CR. It was already set up! Score! Thank you Lord! It takes us about 1/2 an hour to put out all the chairs and tables needed for the meeting. It was a blessing not to have to.
My friend Deb came in and shared a youtube video with me that made me laugh.
Hopefully, you'll laugh as much as I did. It was good. It's also the first youtube video I've ever seen.
Oh yeah, I went to my PRISM meeting last night. I really should keep up in the workbook for this. And stick to the plan. I'd probably weight about 30 pounds less by now rather than 10 pounds less. But the video was the most interesting part. Session 9 covered eatting because of apathy, anger, and perfectionism. I can relate to the apathy and perfectionism. It's hard to admit but as Lizziejoy pointed out in my comments, I'm all about doing it perfectly. And if I can't do it perfectly, then I don't want to do it at all. This applies in most areas of my life. As for the apathy part, I saw a picture over Thanksgiving of me when I weighed 135 pounds! Whoa! I was a toothpick. And the thought ran through my head, "If you can't be that small again, why try?"
God's working on me. I know he is. Thanks Lord for my surprises today!
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