Pondering...

I'm been thinking on the things I'd like to accomplish in 2010. Not resolutions. Resolutions are broken so often. I'm talking about goals. I have several on my mind right now.

First, I want to get into college. I did the financial aid paperwork online a couple weeks ago. I prepared my application for the local university but have not submitted it yet. There are so many questions I have and until today I didn't really know where to go. I'm going to go the university this week and see an adviser about where to start.

Second, photography. I want to continue taking hundreds of pictures. Pictures of cats and trees, birds and window frames, adults and children, whatever comes my way that looks interesting. I'd like to be paid for the time I spend taking pictures. I often feel the pictures I take aren't good enough but lately, I'm happier with what I see.

The third goes along with the second. I wish to be fluent in PhotoShop and PhotoShop Elements. All the geeky little add-ons, filters, patterns, brushes, layers, those I want to use with an artistic eye.

Fourth, is to continue something I started this year but lost focus on. I want to continue to lose weight. I need to do this for my health, for my children, and for our future. I can do this. God is bigger than what I see here. He's bigger than this addiction to food I've had for most of my life. I can do this with his help.

Which leads to the Fifth. I want to run a 5K in 2010. Run. Not walk. No set date. Just in 2010. I've walked many 5K's in the past (mostly 1990's). It's time.

Sixth, I wish to be a better influence for my children. Is all that I do helping them? Am I walking the walk or just talking the talk? In order to lead my household by example, I have to be on the right page. Not the easy page. I've spent too many years on the easy page.

Seventh, HTML/CSS. I wanna remember HTML and learn CSS. It's time to build web pages again. Or at least my own blog layout.

Lastly, but definitely not last, where do I stand when it comes to God? There are days I feel so far away. This was a year of changes for us as a family and for me personally with God. I stayed angry most of the year at God and not particularly happy with my church family. The move we made in September to a different campus did wonders for my attitude and my growth. But I want to grow closer to God. Quiet time and devotion time have to be included in my schedule to make this happen. I have time for everything else. Why do I have so much difficulty putting time for God in there?

Change has come. The kids and I officially started at our Foley campus on the 20th. It is awesome. I actually want to go to church for the first time in ages. It had reached a point that I was miserable.

And today (or rather yesterday), God reminded me that I knew in January/February that I was supposed to let go of the position I had at the church in August. When I didn't let go because I thought I had to have the income, it had to become miserable enough to let go.

I am grateful I let go. I feel like we turned the page and are in a new chapter of our lives. Thank you God for putting up with me when I'm hard headed.

In other things, we did get to go to Night of Joy. Other than the teenage D-R-A-M-A, it was a great trip. I spent most of the trip alone and it was a wonderful thing. I took over 900 pictures in EPCOT and Animal Kingdom. I need to get them modified to update my facebook page. I also have already set up our finances to pay for next years trip so that it won't be such a burden when it gets close to time to go.

Work is going well. Busy but well. I can deal with that.

Been downloading my music from iTunes lately. For the cost of an album that may have only 1 or 2 songs I like, I can get up to 10 songs that I really want. And I'm actually dropping them to disk so I can hear them in the car and at home. Yah for technology!

The following lyrics are from TobyMac's new song "City on Our Knees."

If you gotta start somewhere why not here
If you gotta start sometime why not now
If we gotta start somewhere I say here
If we gotta start sometime I say now
Through the fog there is hope in the distance
From cathedrals to third world missions
Love will fall to the earth like a crashing wave

Tonight’s the night
For the sinners and the saints
Two worlds collide in a beautiful display
It’s all love tonight
When we step across the line
We can sail across the sea
To a city with one king
A city on our knees
A city on our knees
Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

If you gotta start somewhere why not here
If you gotta start sometime why not now
If we gotta start somewhere I say here
If we gotta start sometime I say now
Through the fog there is hope in the distance
From cathedrals to third world missions
Love will fall to the earth like a crashing wave

Tonight’s the night
For the sinners and the saints
Two worlds collide in a beautiful display
It’s all love tonight
When we step across the line
We can sail across the sea
To a city with one king
A city on our knees
A city on our knees
Oh-oh-oh

Tonight could last forever
We are one choice from together
Tonight could last forever
Ooh
Tonight could last forever
We are one choice from together
As family
We’re family
Oh Tonight could last forever
We are one choice from together
You and me
Ya, you and me
Tonight’s the night
For the sinners and the saints
Two worlds collide
In a glorious display
Cuz its all love tonight
When we step across the line
We can sail across the sea
To a city with one king
A city on our knees
A city on our knees
Oh oh oh
A city on our knees
A city on our knees
Oh oh oh
If we gotta start somewhere why not here
If we gotta start sometime why not now

I once said the only way I'd leave my church is if God forced me to go somewhere else or I married.

Well, I haven't married. But I do feel as if I am being forced out. I prepared a draft of my two weeks notice resignation letter this morning. I feel like crying nearly every time I come through the door lately.

The kids and I are going to start attending one of our other campuses starting the 20th of September. They already love it at the other campus. I've never been but I'm willing to take the chance on it. Everyone I know who has attended there is very pleased. We will still be associated with our church, just a different campus.

School is back in session. Great update on the Novel H1N1 influenza. This may be the first year in over 15 years that I get a flu shot! (kids too!)

This crazy life....

Does it slow down? Seems like we are so "plugged in" that we are never still.

Spring break started yesterday. I had hoped for some down time. Not to be. Between band (EP) practices, soccer practices, volleyball games, church, youth, and school, it doesn't stop.

My sister and brother-in-law will be in from Maryland and staying at the beach starting Thursday. We won't get to see them until Sunday. I can't see driving 40+ miles one way to come back a couple hours later for whatever is going on in Pensacola. Yes, I know I don't get to see them often. But sometimes I need to be realistic in how much I can do in the few hours we have.

We are hoping for a trip to Camp Beckwith this week to take pictures. Andrea wants to go up and I'd love to take my twin lens reflex camera up and shot some 'through the viewfinder' photos. I've only gotten to take a couple pictures so far and need to finish up the box I'm shooting through.

We have also had singles get together last weekend. Not sure if I'm glad or aggravated. I'll leave it at that.

And have you ever wished to be anonymous? Even for just a few hours? I do. I think that's why it's nice to go to 722 occasionally. No one knows me there and I can just be quiet and watch rather than having something to do or someone wanting something.

And, I sometimes wish God would send the 'right one' along to help. I know God is with us. He would have to be for my kids to have turned out the way they have (amazing!). But it would be so nice for someone to say "Let me take a look at that" "let me help you with that" or just to turn around and give me a hug when I need it. I know, small things that count little in the day to day things that are going on in the world. But God, it's been 9 years with just the kids and I. We love our church and the help and care they provide. But there are some things they can't do.

I know, I'm complaining. Sorry. I'm tired.

I am grateful for the wonderful friends God has given us. And for family when we get to see them.

Happy New Year 2009

Kids spent the evening at a capture the flag New Year party. I went to church for a worship service.

Afterwards, I joined Steph for coffee at Waffle House. Then home to play Animal Crossing City Folk. The image below is of my character at New Year.



Hope everyone had a marvelous New Year start and may the year be filled with blessings!

ah ha!

Hope your Christmas was amazing. We had a great day. The kids got plenty of clothes. Their dad sent them money. They will gradually spend that.

Chaz got me Animal Crossing City Folk edition. Breezy got me smelly stuff from Bath and Body works. We especially liked the Dancing Waters fragrance.

I'm sitting at Martellis (my favorite place other than Hobby Lobby, Books a Million and Liberty) looking up information on ACCF.

Wish you all a Happy New Year in case I forget to check in before then. You'd think I'd get here more often since I come to Martellis a couple times a week. Guess that's what makes the Twitter feed good?

ohhhh

I like this layout. All I need to do is make a title header to replace the text header.

I'm sitting outside the church waiting for everyone to get here for practice and finish preparing for the Christmas program. I'm getting a better signal sitting outside than I do when I'm inside. *grimace*

One more week of school. I have to say I'm totally ready for it. I hope and pray God opens a door for me to be somewhere else come August of next year. Breezy will be finished at the school in high school. Chaz is already there. It's time for a change.

Still need to finish Christmas shopping. I returned the shirt I got for Chaz while in Alabama. I'm going to order him a replica Alabama jersey for his big gift. Still not sure what Breezy's big gift will be. She hasn't given me any clues. Go figure.

Anyway, I'm still alive and kicking. On Twitter and Facebook more often. I use text messages to update Twitter which updates my Facebook account. That way I don't need to be logged in as much and can just use my phone. Good idea huh?

Oh yeah, I got my 1099R from the military today so I'm 1/4 of the way ready to do my taxes!

It has been crazy the last week or so. Between work, the kids, soccer and church.

Chaz made varsity. This is good but it also means soccer every single weeknight and at least one day of the weekend.

I did get a revelation this weekend. I never thought of myself as prideful but missed the part about leaving home and my attitude toward it. Nor did I realize the shame I feel toward what I thought I'd do and what I am doing.

I have realized that there are certain people in the body of Christ that I'd just as soon never speak to or see for that matter. They are wolves in sheeps clothing. And when your children can see it too, then there is a problem. When outsiders see it, there is really a problem.

I voted yesterday. Voter 5,136 at the poll I went to.

Anyway, that's enough for now. Later. Catch you on twitter.

I get to go see Sarah Palin when she comes into Pensacola next Tuesday. I called a friend of mine on Wednesday night to tell her that Palin was coming to town and she and several other friends stood in line to get tickets. I got one!

I've been having a lot of fun with Twitter. Yeah, I know. 120 updates on twitter, 2 updates on blogger. I must admit, 140 characters from text messaging is so much easier!

I discovered House. A friend lent me the first season on dvd. Watched 3 episodes on Wednesday night and 5 episodes last night. I'm a third of the way through the season. I should finish them all by Monday at this rate. LOL

Kids are at band practice. I'm sitting at the church reading the news and will probably read a few blogs soon.

Tomorrow, Chaz will referee for soccer and I'll take Breezy to WF to let her tour the campus. Then it's off to Barktoberfest. Breezy really wants to go so we'll go.

Alabama football at 2:30 p.m. Now to find out what channel it is on.

In other things, I stuck my foot in my mouth. Nothing new I know but hey. By the time it was over, I was as red as my shirt. Pretty bad. *sigh* Yes, it was in reference to a man. duh.

Anyway, let me get to blog reading. Later gators and see ya on twitter.

oh yeah!

I won tickets to the Winter WonderSlam Tour from Power 88. Oh yeah!


Other things... Hurricane Gustav went to our west. We got lots of rain and wind but no damage. My mom, her husband, my sister, and her two sons came and stayed with Chaz and I. Breezy spent the night with a friend that evening. Played some cards and talked a lot. It was good.

Saturday morning, I went to the Humane Society to sign up to work as a volunteer. I filled out the forms, got the tour and then I got to spend about 2 hours sitting in a room playing with kitties! I love kitties. :o)

Work has been crazy busy. Learning new things. I got to do some basic training type stuff with two new health technicians who are going to schools around mine.

Anyway, I need to get busy. I came up here to do some work. Need to get it done. Later.

hello?

It's been a while.

Summer school is over. Vacation Bible School is over (both at BAC and ESC). The kids are out at the beach with the Bloom Event that is being held for the youth.

VBS. It was good. Both of them. Chaz and Breezy both helped lead the worship portion of the daily sessions. During the BAC VBS they also were crew leaders. It is so cool to know that God is working in them and has given them a heart to minister to children. I know it didn't come from me! LOL My portion of VBS is the registration and first aid.

Since May 3rd, I've attended 5 weddings and missed 2. I'm aware of at least 3 more engagements that have occured in that time frame as well. Two of the weddings are supposed to take place before the end of the year and one next summer.

For the last couple months I have been interested in a guy at the church. He has recently come back to the church. He and I became members at the same time in '02 and he left for a season. The smile is devastating. I finally got to spend more than 2 minutes talking to him on Sunday. It was a good conversation. The subject? The defunct over 30's singles group at church and what we need for a new one. A little personal stuff about work and kids. Although there seems to possibly be an attraction, I got the impression he's not interested in a relationship. So, I can toss that to the wind. Of course, I know, it's not my timing. It's God's timing. I'm ok with that. I've been single this long, what's a while longer? I'd rather have the one that God intended for me than to screw it up again. I am teachable. It only took 3 tries to learn though. *smile*

Things have been tight around the house. No real paychecks between now and the end of August, it's real tight. The rent and the car payment is paid from my retirement check. I have a small check that comes in from some part time work. It's the electric bill, water bill, and cell phone bill that I need to come up with. Oh yeah, food and gasoline for August. Nothing too big. People tend to think I'm overly optimistic. However, I know God has provided every single year since I've been working at the school I know He'll provide again... somehow some way.

My computer is still non-functioning as well. I did 2 customer service surveys for the Geek Squad. After the first one, the manager called me and said he'd order the recovery disks for my computer. After 4 weeks, I still have not recieved the disk. I sent the 2nd survey on the 17th of this month. No response. On the 24th I emailed Best Buy. I recieved the "canned" email response saying they'd contact me within 3 days but it's now 5 days later and no word. Now to figure out what to do. My thoughts have run from contacting the channel 5 consumer department for assistance or seeing if I could start a "urban legend" all by myself. Neither ring true at the moment so I'm being patient. Out of the last 100 or so days, 42 of the days, my computer was with the Geek Squad, 30 days, my computer was not working properly, and for the last 40 days, it doesn't work at all.

I am ready to go back to work. I go back on the 13th. Breezy and Chaz on the 18th. Breezy will be an 8th grader and Chaz will be a sophmore. It is good. At the wedding this past Saturday, I was looking at a pew full of teens and realized how much I love those kids. Makes me want to cry just thinking about it. If I decide to stay with the Health Department after this year, maybe I'll see if I can move up to high school from middle school. Ya never know.

My brother will be home from Iraq for a couple weeks in August. We get regular updates through the blog that his significant other set up for him. He is safe and we are still praying for him.

Prayer. Over Spring Break, I went to our Eastern Shore Campus for a Sunday service. It was suggested that I pray Psalm 91 over my brother for his safety while in Iraq. I missed a couple days that first week but have been faithfully praying it now for 3+ months. I added my other brother, Chaz, Breezy, and my names to it as well. There is something comfortable about reading it outloud with our names in it.

Movies. The base has free matinees on Wednesdays for the first showing. The kids have seen Kung Fu Panda and Speed Racer. I saw Prince Caspian twice. I really like the movie and the soundtrack is awesome. I decided the song "This is Home" by Switchfoot would make an awesome wedding song. Guess I'll file that away for future reference.

I've got my memories
They're always
Inside of me
But I can't go back
Back to how it was
I believe now
I've come too far
No I can't go back
Back to how it was
Created for a place
I've never known

Chorus:
This is home
Now I'm finally
Where I belong
Where I belong
Yeah, this is home
I've been searching
For a place of my own
Now I've found it
Maybe this is home
Yeah, this is home

Belief over misery
I've seen the enemy
And I won't go back

Back to how it was
And I got my heart
Set on
What happens next
I got my eyes wide
It's not over yet
We are miracles
And we're not alone

(Chorus)

And now after all
My searching
After all my questions
I'm gonna call it home
I got a brand new mindset
I can finally see
The sunset
I'm gonna call it home

(Chorus)

Now I know
Yeah, this is home

I've come too far
Now I won't go back
This is home

I am thankful for my children walking with God, a home, a working automobile, friends who love us, an amazing church family, a job, sunshine and rain.

That's all for now. later gators.

Another month gone...

School is out. First week of summer is over. Summer reading camp starts next week. Two weddings down. Several to go.

did I say it's the summer of the weddings? Two in May. Two in June (not counting the one I missed). Two in July. All friends or children of friends. Or in the case of the one yesterday, a nephew. It's crazy.

And lately, I pray that God will bring someone for the kids and I. I've been reading a book called "How to live well as a Single Mom." And today, I was wondering just how well-adjusted my children are. Are they tramatized by the divorce and I just don't realize it? Are they understanding of relationships? Do they have godly role models to follow? Am I missing something that they need?

So much turmoil lately as well. A friend whose 17 year old daughter is pregnant (and I've heard of one more who is pregnant). Another friend is in the midst of a bankruptcy that they never saw coming. The friends who are ill. I know that there are things going on in the heavenlies and on earth but so many prayers are needed.

back later.

Visit Mugs of Truth




Busy busy week again. Last week was FTE week. Don't ask me what it stands for. I have no idea. But in that week, we total all the medications we give, all the special procedures, tally all the allergies, adhd, etc numbers, and add in the number of students actually visted the clinic and turn them in. Final total: 348.

Saturday was WinterJam at the Mitchell Center in Mobile. Phenomenal!!! 10,500 people inside. The estimate for those turned away because there was no more room was 3,500-4,000!!!! The artists were amazing. I went mostly because I wanted to see MercyMe and NewSong. The worship was incredible. I have to admit that Skillet was probably my favorite. The pyrotechnics were WOW!! 15 foot columns of fire along with water mist and some sparkler type thingies. And I actually knew 4 of the 5 songs they did. Way cool. We went up with a group of 45 and another 40 or so from our church joined us there.

I managed to get my taxes filed finally. The free efile from Turbo Tax wasn't working for me this year due to a change in the way I had to file the bonus from the school so I used H&R Block as a friend recommended. Very good. We should have our refund back by the 21st. Yah! Part to the church, part to the kids, a bead order, and possibly a down payment on a car.

We are praying about a car. New or used? I don't want a huge payment so it's really weighing on me. We have got to replace the van. It needs a transmission and there is something seriously wrong with the undercarriage/frame.

I've also been sort of agitated lately. The single life and singles ministry has been on my mind. I'm torn between if the agitation is that I'm still single after being alone with the kids for 8 years or just agitated because something is missing or I'm waiting for something to happen.

I also realized I'm starting to pick up on other's emotions/feelings again. For a while I believe God softened how strongly I reacted to others emotions/feelings. But it seems to be getting stronger again.

I've been reading my Bible in the mornings after I get to school. I usually have 20 minutes or so of quiet time before my day officially starts. It's been good.

There's a song out that I think is just the bomb-diggity and I can't find it to download from iTunes or Zune. Paul Alan's "To bring you back." Awesome song. Now if only I can find the lyrics or at least the download so I can type out the lyrics.

home again

We've made it home. The kids are at friends' house already. I'm sitting at Martelli's enjoying some time on the net and coffee.

Christmas was good. The kids made out like bandits this year. Their aunt and uncle (my sister and brother) got together and got them both a $100 gift card. Breezy's to Old Navy and Chaz to American Eagle. We converted Breezy's to an Old Navy/Gap/Banana Republic card. Grandma and Grandpa gave them both a gift card to Best Buy. Another aunt gave Chaz an Itunes card to use with his Zune and Breezy a card to Claires. Last aunt gave Chaz some clothes and Breezy a couple snazzy little purses for Breezy. Last brother is taking them to the Senior Bowl on the 26th. This is the second year they get to go and they get to go to the meet and greet with the players before the game as well.

In February, they'll both get $150 each as well. Their dad sent money that we used on bills and Christmas so I give them the full amount when tax refund comes in. On top of that, I'll add another $50 so they'll get a little shopping done then. I'll send them with friends though. I'm not sure I can handle the mall any more!

I got a gift card to Martellis, Target, and Joanns. I gave the kids money to buy me gifts. They did well. Breezy picked out the awesome pottery I showed her at Cordova Mall and Chaz chose a set of plates in my favorite color from Target. They both visited the glass blower booth at the mall. One piece says Mom with a heart and rose and the other is a brightly colored rooster. What they didn't realize was I used to collected the little glass blown pieces and had given them all away several years ago when we didn't have room for them. So these are extra special. :o)

I played 313 against my sister yesterday and this morning. Final score? Me - 4 wins, Her - 10 wins. So to say the least, I've had my tail kicked at cards this week! LOL

And the funny part of Christmas was Sunday night. We've had our tree up for 2 weeks with just lights on it. Sunday night I went to the laundry room to get the decorations and found the bag of beads that has been missing for 7+ months!!! That bag of beads has been a running joke between Andrea and I for months. And now I find it!

I did make 2 bracelets, 1 anklet, 3 pairs of earrings and 3 necklaces in the last 2 days. The one I'm wearing is the boldest. It's got tiny seashells, orange, olive, and turquoise glass beads, wood beads, some coral, a few pewter beads, and some little tiny birds made from shell. I think it's the bomb-diggity. Andrea will laugh when she sees it. Those orange beads are another running joke between us.

The other two necklaces are 6 feet long. One in black and red using red coral, new picasso jasper, and black glass beads. The other is peace jade, amethyst, and glass beads. Both of these have little birds in them as well. I'm hoping to sell them both. My sister seems to think I need to charge $60 a piece for them. We'll see.

Last week was the 5 year anniversary of my divorce. February will mark the the end of 8th year I've been single parenting. It's been tough. Sometimes I get frustrated being alone. I feel majorily unappreciated. Other times, I'm very content to be a single parent. I don't have to deal with things other single parents have to deal with. You know, like the kids being at one parent's house one week and the other parent's house the next week. Two sets of rules. We have one set of rules. Mine.

I'm trying to raise my children to walk with God. He is the final authority on things in our house. If their dad was involved, then we'd have one house following God and one who's not. And in that house is an alcohol problem and a lack of respectfulness. I'm not sure I could deal with that. So I'm grateful for being alone in that way.

Still.... One day.

God, I am grateful for a year of new beginnings. A year of the new. A year of changes and things to come. I am grateful for my children, my family, my church family. I am grateful for a great job (even when I don't feel appreciated).

I forgot to post this last night so here are my thoughts/happenings for the last week. Imagine my surprise when I could get to Blogger from work. *thud* LOL

- - - - - (yesterday's post) - - - - -



Yeah, I know it sounds lame but am I inspired or what? My mind kicks into overdrive when I see some of the beautiful things made on etsy.

Thanksgiving was good. My mom and her husband, my brother and his SO, my sister and her 2 sons, and Breezy, Chaz, and myself. Everybody brought something (or several somethings) and nobody slaves over a stove for hours before dinner. What more can you ask for?

Friday, my sis wanted to go Christmas shopping so I joined her. It's going to be an Alabama Christmas around my house. Chaz wants a Zune and Breezy wanted "a shiny ring." I managed to get the ring but missed the special on Zunes at Radio Shack.

Saturday was Casting Crowns, John Waller, and Leeland. I had no idea that the song I've been singing for weeks was by Leeland. The concert was hemmed in prayer. Someone from Premier Productions came out before the concert started and prayed over the concert. John Waller led off with a song called "blessings and curses." It really gets you thinking whether you're speaking blessings or curses over your own life, the lives of your children, friends, family, etc. Leeland was great. Casting Crowns. They were phenomenal as always. This is the 5th time I've seen them. Music that worships God and makes you think at the same time about your walk and how you are affecting others. Their second set after the World Vision break was great. Before they ended, they prayed over the audience. Prayers for children, families, marriages, youth, pastors. It was awesome.

I got to go to dinner with PB and RF before the concert. The company was fabulous. The food delicious. Can't ask for much more than that. :o)

Chaz has been moved up to Varsity full time as of yesterday. He's been catching grief from some of the guys because he's been floating back and forth from JV to Varsity. He's getting huge amounts of play time as well. I told him that it took everything I had to keep from saying something to several young girls who were mouthing off about him during the first game. Breezy said the same thing about some of the JV boys who were complaining. We both decided we didn't want him to catch more grief over being a "momma's boy" or having his sis stick up from him. He told us last night that had that occured, he would have turned around and told them "at least my mom and sister care enough to stick up for me." How cool is that.

Breezy has her first chorus performance coming up. She's not particularly pleased about the dress but she looks so good in it. This afternoon, a friend from church is taking Breezy out for the evening. They are going to visit the friend's beautician and have their nails done and maybe Breezy's hair cut/colored (normal colors). Breezy is so excited.

- - - - - (end yesterday's post) - - - - -

Well, it's Friday and I'm grateful. Chaz played soccer last night. He's seriously disheartened. He was on JV and got to play quite a few games with the Varsity and was playing the majority of those games. He was officially moved to Varsity on Wednesday and spent less than 22 minutes on the field. He wants to move back down to JV and feels as if he wasn't need.

Breezy had such a good time with our friend. Her nails are a lovely shade of dark blue. Her hair has been trimmed/cut and highlighted slightly. She looks like a million bucks. Oh wait, she always does! LOL. They also made a trip out to the mall and she got a pair of straight leg jeans. Boy is she excited about them. She says they are the most comfortable pair of jeans ever. She revised her Christmas list (did she have one?). She wants another pair or two (if on sale) of them. That may be doable.

I spoke to my two sisters who both live in this area. It looked like we weren't going to get together for Christmas at all due to conflicts in schedules and/or transportation. It's settled now and everyone will be coming to our house on the Sunday before Christmas. The kids and I will get to attend the first service at church and my Mom will work half the morning. Our hopes are my youngest sister will be able to get off work. We'll say a prayer for that.

Today was supervisor visit for work. She got here before I did (and I get to work around 7:30) and was already meeting with our nurse. I guess she did everything she needed to before I got here because I only spoke with her for a couple minutes. *shrug/head scratch*

Well, I'm outta here this time. We have soccer tonight and nothing to do tomorrow but clean house and put up the Christmas tree. Sleeping in is on the agenda. *s*

whoa...

God is good all the time. Even in the middle of my stuff, He's good.

School is going well. Report cards come home this week. Chaz made the soccer team. He'll be alternating between the Varsity team and the Junior Varsity team. Breezy is singing with a youth band at church and they'll get to sing at the church's FunFest on Wednesday. They've been practicing hard.

I'm actually typing this entry from my laptop. Yes, once upon a time I said I'd never own a laptop and if given one, I'd sell it and buy a desktop. But over the last few months as I think about college and convenience, a laptop was looking more and more sound. 2 weeks ago today, I thought abut that vow (yes, that's what it was), I realized I needed to break the vow. So I prayed and asked God to forgive me for making the vow and broke it. A few days later, I was visiting a friend and the conversation turned to computers. I told her I was looking to buy a laptop with my tax refund check in February. She offered me a computer to use until then and pulled out a Sony Vaio laptop. As we were cleaning her stuff off the hard drive, she looked at me and asked if I would be offended if she offered me the laptop. She said she'd understand if I said no because I wanted to pick out my "own" laptop later. I accepted! This computer is so much more than anything I would have bought with my tax refund. The screen is huge! There is still warranty left on it and it's transferrable. (Already got a new battery for it) What a blessing! She's the bomb-diggity! She told me that since she uses an apple it's harder to transfer back and forth to the Windows platform. Yah! Thank you for my friend and thank you God!

Casting Crowns is coming in concert next month. A friend and I decided to go but had not purchased tickets yet. Today, I got a phone call from someone who said he had 3 tickets to the concert that were available. They had been given to him to bless someone else. Whoa! Yah! So, my friend and I and the friend who gave me the laptop are going to see Casting Crowns next month. My favorite group!

We are doing the Truth Project at the church. Last night we saw the "how great is our God" video done by Louie GiglioThis" is a great description of it by Kyle (google is your friend). WOW! God is so cool. And to think the stuff that holds us together is Laminin and it's shaped like a cross and the cross holds us to God. Dude. Way cool.

Work has been busy. But I discovered something last week that I didn't think about for the first two months of school. My computer was changed out over the summer from a full size (HUGE) monitor to a flat one. What a difference in the clutter on my desk. There is none! I moved my pampered chef pen/pencil holder to a side desk and when I come in the office, my desk is clean. It's a pleasure to come to work and see the desk empty. The days have been flying by. I'll look up at the clock and it'll be 12:20 p.m. and I wonder where the first 4 hours went! It is good!

Anyway, that's enough for now. I am wonderfully made and wonderfully blessed. I have two healthy children (one of which turned 15 last week). I have a great job that I like almost all the time. I'm part of a beautiful church that preaches God's word and reaches out to others. We have a great home, a vehicle, amazing friends and family. God is good!

Busy week both at work and at home. A few new discoveries. A few lessons. Just what we all need. Right?

Pastor Josh preached the first part of "Welcome to the Family." God brings us into His family and calls us to love one another as we love Him. How we have a tendency to allow gossip to color our world and view of others.

Unfortunately, I have done that a couple times in the last year. I've been guilty let someone else's personal feelings color my view of people. People who while I didn't always agree with what they did, I knew they were good and godly people. And for a short time, I viewed them differently. Both times God pointed it out to me rather sharply. Ouch! I'm sorry for listening to the gossip, participating in it, and acting on it. Sorrier for not listening to the prompting of the Holy Spirit this last time that it wasn't right and listening anyway.

Pastor B is preaching on "How to Ruin Your Life" today. It's part 3 of the series. How negativity can ruin your life. He talks of how Paul was in prison and didn't let being in prison ruin his life. How Paul could have been negative and angry over being in prison yet he chose to worship God. He wrote the letters to the Corinthians.

Three of the ladies from the choir sang "Anyway" by Martina McBride. What an amazing rendition. I'm glad it's going to be on today's recording of the service. So good, I can't wait to hear it again the second service!

You can spend your whole life building
Something from nothin'
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway

You can chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
I do it anyway

This world's gone crazy
It's hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all your heart
For all the right reasons
In a moment they can choose to walk away
Love 'em anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
Yea - I do it anyway

You can pour your soul out singing
A song you believe in
That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway
Yea, sing it anyway
Yeah, yeah!

I sing
I dream
I love anyway

Last night we attended a get together at our friends' home to celebrate a birthday. The birthday girl turned 20 and is from Japan. The Japanese hold a big coming of age celebration when they turn 20. There were around 30 people ranging in age from 11 to 50 at the party. Good food, DDR, ping pong, air hockey, movies and mostly good company. I didn't think I was ever going to get my kids to leave. We finally made it out of the house on the 3rd try at 11:15!!! I'm pretty sure they'd stay there all the time if I gave them the chance. Heh.

I discovered a marvelous coffee shop on Navy Blvd about a mile out the front gate of NAS. It's called Martelli's. The atmosphere was wonderful. The music was Frank Sinatra and some other singers from that era. There was a warmth to the place that made you feel at home. The pictures on the walls were vintage black and white photos of the family. Old cameras and a phonograph were part of the decor. There was actually a decorative fountain in the middle of the room as well. Lovely chess boards on a couple tables so customers could play a game. A few other board games were available as well. Free wi-fi too! The pumpkin patch mocha latte was yummy! A friend of mine told me that he and his wife go there on Sunday after church every now and again for lunch. She told me this morning that the prices are excellent and her kids love the food too. Sounds like something I need to try with Chaz and Breezy.

Got a haircut (or two). Feels like a ton of weight has fallen off my head. Whew!

Work was busy too. One of our "clients" this week was a teacher with a pretty good size "boo-boo" on his leg. He had fallen off his bike a week or so ago and the pedal gouged his leg. Then he fell while playing basketball a couple days later and reopened it. By the time we saw it, it was red and angry looking and most likely infected. He had to have been in some pain. Friday he made a doctor's appointment to get it checked. We'll find out tomorrow how bad it was.

Well, the service is nearly over and this set of DVD's is nearly done. Hafa Adai and Sayonora!

Oh yeah, I realized two weeks ago that I've been divorced for nearly 5 years. For some reason, I thought it was only 3 years. duh.

what a month...

And that is has been... a month since I showed up here.

School is in full swing. We drop Chaz off at high school each morning and then Breezy and I continue on to our school. She doesn't get to sit in my clinic but sits in the room right outside the door. It still doesn't completely please me but at least we have some time before her day starts to talk.

I changed a few things in how I pray for them each morning. On our way to drop Chaz off, I pray for Chaz specifically. For wisdom, peace, discernment, teachable spirit and that people would see God in all that he says and does, and for protection. Then between there and Breezy and my school, I pray the same over Breezy. Slowly their are new changes in their countenances. Good changes.

We've had our first Take Stock in Children meeting. Chaz has a new mentor. We had wanted to stay with the one from last year but that wasn't to be. Maybe this is an opportunity to reach out to the old mentor as a family instead of just an hour a week with the mentor alone? Breezy hasn't met her mentor yet but should this week.

We had the opportunity to meet with some of the international students from UWF a couple weeks ago. Some friends of mine have been working with Friends of International out of Mobile. Friends of International ministers to the international students at USA in Mobile. These friends are looking to establish the same type of relationship with the international students of UWF here in Pensacola. The get together included approximately 15 students from Korea, Taiwan, Japan, and Sweden, along with my friends, my children, and two other missionaries who are associated with our church. What an awesome time together. Time spent just talking, eatting pizza and ice cream, and playing games like pool, ping pong and sumo wrestling. You know, the blow up sumo suits? Well, that's an experience in itself. I'll have to find the pictures to share. It was hilarious.

The awesomest part of this is that Chaz who has always been against my idea of traveling back to Japan to live and work has decided he wants to learn to speak Japanese. YAH! Of course, he wants to learn Spanish as well. Breezy can't wait to go to one of the get togethers again. Which is a huge relief because I took both of them nearly kicking and screaming "I don't want to go!!!" LOL

Our pastor is celebrating his 15th year at our church. There will be a special concert tonight by Rita Springer. Yah.

Rita Springer and the rest of the Fragrant Oil team was here the end of August for a women's conference. Over 500 women came to be ministered to and refreshed with God's word.

A men's conference of not quite so many men was held a couple weeks ago. I suspect the majority of the men weren't aware I sat through the entire thing in the sound booth. God really spoke to me through the words the pastors preached. There are several things I need to deal with from my past that I thought I was over but realized I wasn't. It also reminded me that although it seems I am always with Chaz and Breezy that our time together isn't always quality time. Now to work quality time back into our schedule.

I am thinking of starting college. I'm 44 and have been fearful most of my life about college. Sounds strange but it's true. I once wanted to study art but feared that I would get there and be told what I do is crap.

The really sad part is that I can close my eyes and see a scene from 6th grade at the elementary school I attended and the word crap being used to describe somethings I had drawn. The exact person, the room, every detail so clear. Like it was yesterday. As I spoke to someone in our church about this last Sunday, she asked to pray over it with me. When she started praying, tears welled up in my eyes and I could feel the release from the fear beginning.

How often do we (me included) let the fears of the past haunt us in our living today? Way too much in my case. It's time to move on.

I skipped....

posting on my birthday. Yes, another year gone by. I turned 44 last week. It was good. A friend took us out to lunch. Hugs from my kids. Being sung happy birthday to by the VBS crew and sharing it with a gentleman whose birthday was also the 9th.

I went back to work today. Within a short time I was rather angry. Breezy cannot sit in the clinic with me any more in the mornings. The bad part of that is we are out of district and I have to provide transportation for her. It appears that she will be staying at a friend's house in the mornings and riding the bus with a friend of mine's daughter. It disappoints me alot and I know that it disappoints Breezy. Chaz got to sit in the clinic every morning before school and she can't for her last two years. I feel like she's being cheated of that time with me in the mornings.

In other things, last night was the dry run of Crossover at church. Our youth program is moving to Tuesday nights from Wednesday nights. It was awesome. Crossover has a youth band that absolutely was phenomenal last night. The prayer was awesome. I'm going to work the Turn Life discipleship program, greeting and altar ministry. Chaz is working media and Breezy will work check-in.

Well, shoot, need to scoot for now. more later.

Another week....

It has been a good week.

A movie...

Lunch with a friend and an early birthday present...

A little time spent beading. This is a necklace, anklet, and bracelet made from golden jade, tiger eye, and aventurine. It's got an oriental feel.


We went to Johnson's Beach for a birthday party yesterday. First time I've been to the beach in a couple years. I'm not particularly fond of the sand or sun for that matter. LOL The party was good. The kids had a blast. The grownups played a few games of Mexican train.



This pic is the kids goofing around at home. They're quite the clowns when they want to be.



And the last pic is one of my favorite pics of the summer. It's a little off center but too cute. Not something I made but way too cute. LOL



I've decided to make bracelets for my sister's for Christmas. I'm working on the supply list so I can place an order in September with Fire Mountain Beads.

No clay class this week because the teacher had an emergency. I may make vases as well for everyone.

I'm sitting here watching the kids practice their new drama for youth. I'm wondering when they'll actually do this one. Our new youth night kicks off on the 21st of this month. One whole night dedicated to the 6th through 12th graders. It is good. Chaz will be working the cafe, Breezy with the registration, and I'll be working greeter and TurnLife/altar ministry. Keeping up with the youth will keep me on my toes and my knees.

My nephew is now in my favorite place.... that'd be Japan for those who don't know me. He climbed Mt. Fuji in his first month there. I can't even begin to imagine having climbed it without climatizing first. Whoa.

About time to scoot. Small group starts in less than an hour.