Wednesday, September 26, 2007

do you ever wonder?

wonder if someone cares? You know they do but it's something so far in the distance that it doesn't feel like it? I feel that way.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

what a month...

And that is has been... a month since I showed up here.

School is in full swing. We drop Chaz off at high school each morning and then Breezy and I continue on to our school. She doesn't get to sit in my clinic but sits in the room right outside the door. It still doesn't completely please me but at least we have some time before her day starts to talk.

I changed a few things in how I pray for them each morning. On our way to drop Chaz off, I pray for Chaz specifically. For wisdom, peace, discernment, teachable spirit and that people would see God in all that he says and does, and for protection. Then between there and Breezy and my school, I pray the same over Breezy. Slowly their are new changes in their countenances. Good changes.

We've had our first Take Stock in Children meeting. Chaz has a new mentor. We had wanted to stay with the one from last year but that wasn't to be. Maybe this is an opportunity to reach out to the old mentor as a family instead of just an hour a week with the mentor alone? Breezy hasn't met her mentor yet but should this week.

We had the opportunity to meet with some of the international students from UWF a couple weeks ago. Some friends of mine have been working with Friends of International out of Mobile. Friends of International ministers to the international students at USA in Mobile. These friends are looking to establish the same type of relationship with the international students of UWF here in Pensacola. The get together included approximately 15 students from Korea, Taiwan, Japan, and Sweden, along with my friends, my children, and two other missionaries who are associated with our church. What an awesome time together. Time spent just talking, eatting pizza and ice cream, and playing games like pool, ping pong and sumo wrestling. You know, the blow up sumo suits? Well, that's an experience in itself. I'll have to find the pictures to share. It was hilarious.

The awesomest part of this is that Chaz who has always been against my idea of traveling back to Japan to live and work has decided he wants to learn to speak Japanese. YAH! Of course, he wants to learn Spanish as well. Breezy can't wait to go to one of the get togethers again. Which is a huge relief because I took both of them nearly kicking and screaming "I don't want to go!!!" LOL

Our pastor is celebrating his 15th year at our church. There will be a special concert tonight by Rita Springer. Yah.

Rita Springer and the rest of the Fragrant Oil team was here the end of August for a women's conference. Over 500 women came to be ministered to and refreshed with God's word.

A men's conference of not quite so many men was held a couple weeks ago. I suspect the majority of the men weren't aware I sat through the entire thing in the sound booth. God really spoke to me through the words the pastors preached. There are several things I need to deal with from my past that I thought I was over but realized I wasn't. It also reminded me that although it seems I am always with Chaz and Breezy that our time together isn't always quality time. Now to work quality time back into our schedule.

I am thinking of starting college. I'm 44 and have been fearful most of my life about college. Sounds strange but it's true. I once wanted to study art but feared that I would get there and be told what I do is crap.

The really sad part is that I can close my eyes and see a scene from 6th grade at the elementary school I attended and the word crap being used to describe somethings I had drawn. The exact person, the room, every detail so clear. Like it was yesterday. As I spoke to someone in our church about this last Sunday, she asked to pray over it with me. When she started praying, tears welled up in my eyes and I could feel the release from the fear beginning.

How often do we (me included) let the fears of the past haunt us in our living today? Way too much in my case. It's time to move on.