This is an email I wrote today to share with someone at work. It came out of a conversation we had and she asked for me to cheer her up that she needed some of what I have. This is where I am today. Surprise me God...
This may be more than you were looking for but it's where my head is today. I truly realized I think for the first time, that I am here for more than just taking care of these kids (even the ones who irritate me). God put me here to encourage them when there is no else encouraging them. To let them know they count and they have a future when it looks like hell is raining around them. And so many of them are living in that hell.
Do we (you, I and so many others here) make a difference? Do we lose our focus and just see a sea of faces and miss the hurt? See another body and forget to care?
I know I get to that point sometimes and it takes a lot to turn it around. Sometimes a song, sometimes a sermon.
I know you know how much I listen to Christian music. But I thought I'd share this one with you and then at the bottom there are a couple notes from a web site that just seem to speak.
I pray both speak to you as well. I know some days I look like I'm "out there" when I'm walking around singing. But sometimes, singing to God is the only thing keeping me from crying and screaming.
Deb
~~~
She is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
She is trying
But the canyon's ever widening
In the depths of her cold heart
So she sets out on another misadventure just to find
She's another two years older
And she's three more steps behind
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
She is yearning
For shelter and affection
That she never found at home
She is searching
For a hero to ride in
To ride in and save the day
And in walks her prince charming
And he knows just what to say
Momentary lapse of reason
And she gives herself away
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
If judgement looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we never even met her
If judgment looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we never even met her
Never even met her
Does anybody hear her? Does anybody see?
Or does anybody even knows she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Does anybody see?
Does anybody even know she's going down today?
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Does anybody see?
He is running a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
~~~
Highlighted areas are my emphasis. I was thinking about some of the kids I've seen and some of the tales I've heard since I started working here. I did not write these two letters. I just copied them from the Casting Crowns web site I was reading.
~~~
This morning I was driving in to work listening to our local Christian radio station and "Does Anybody Hear Her" came on the radio. I own all Casting Crown CD's, having been to several concerts and am a regular fan. I had listened to the aforementioned song dozens of times. Yet this morning the lyrics zoomed straight to my heart. In listening to this song in the past, my mind's eye would be flooded with images…an image of my sister who has struggled with drug abuse for years, suffered abusive boyfriends, and is now serving time in jail. There were the hundreds of images of the at-risk teens I have ministered to over the last seven years, young girls pregnant and scared, teen boys running with gangs, youth cutting on their own bodies in a desperate attempt to release the pain they feel inside.
A new image came into view today. An image of my husband who I recently learned struggles with the chains of pornography. While the hurt and the confusion I feel inside from that revelation is very real, I also know that those chains came from the master of deception, Satan. My husband wants to change and be freed from those chains. My sister wants to be freed from the chains of her addictions. The youth I have worked with want to be freed from the chains of their pain. How relevant "Does Anybody Hear Her" and "Set Me Free", along with nearly every other song on the 'Lifesong' play list speaks into my life and the lives of my loved ones. Those songs serve as a soundtrack to our lives and also as an instrument of hope – speaking truth amidst the lies of the evil one. "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10 Praise the Lord!
~~~~~~
My favorite songs from you are Lifesong, Who Am I and Voice of Truth. These touch me deeply and speak to my soul.
When God spoke to me at 30 to move from my hometown and then at 33 to take a totally different career path and become a teacher, I knew that it was His voice but couldn't understand why He was leading me this way. It didn't make 'worldly sense' for me to move 1200 miles away from the place I grew up, go back to college and work as a teacher for less than I make at my own business but I knew it was God's will. I will be finishing school soon and have an excitement within my soul because I know God has a purpose for me in education and in this new place that He's planted our family in. Even if His plan is for me to touch just one child, that is what I'm going to do and I want to be a part of that.
Someday, even if not in this life, I believe the purpose for our move and my career change will be revealed. I can't wait to see it. When I listen to Voice of Truth..it speaks to me all about both of these situations and having the faith to step out even when it's scary and doesn't "make sense." Taking that chance to step out of your own will and into God's brings such a spiritual reward and more peace in your soul than can be described in words.
I appreciate you and your music.
~~~~~~
I'm not sure how this post will turn out. I'm sending it from work and if it needs editing to be understood, I'll fix it when I log in next.
Edited to add labels and title.
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