Sunday, March 11, 2007


No matter what....

Over the last month or so since we've moved, I've been going through pictures from the past. As I look at these pictures, with very few exceptions, I look absolutely miserable. I mean, really miserable.

And yesterday, I was talking to a friend and said "you know, looking at all these pictures, I don't think I was ever happy." The few that I look happy in I'm playing with Chaz or Breezy, an occasional one with my ex but other than those, I'm miserable. Oh wait, then there's the happy drunk pictures or nearly drunk pictures.

And lately, as I've posted previously, I feel more joyful. And while I'm not necessarily happy, I am content, and I do have joy. When things are going all askew, I may be be sad, but at the same time, there is something in me that is still singing.

I told a friend at school that I sing because I have to. No matter how bad it is, I know that there is Someone bigger than me who has it in His hands. And while I can't see the big picture, He can. I have to chose to sing.

In October 2004, Pastor preached a sermon called "Joy No Matter What" the Wednesday before Hurricane Ivan. And then did a series on it after Ivan. It was good. Very good.

Today, Pastor Josh preached a sermon called "Happiness Theology." As he preached, the song "Joy down in my heart" came to mind. You remember, you sang it as a kid and probably forgot like I did.

I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart.
Where? Down in my heart!
Where? Down in my heart!
I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart,
down in my heart
down in my heart to stay.

And if the Devil doesn't like it he can sit on a tack.
Sit on a tack.
Sit on a tack.
And if the Devil doesn't like it he can sit on a tack
Sit on a tack today.

Anyway, I'm grateful for where God has taken me and how He has changed my life.

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