It has been crazy busy as always. Between soccer and band practices.

Chaz has been playing varsity soccer at the high school but as of December 1st, he's off the team. His grades are horrendous. The only thing left to take away is soccer. He's not only hurting himself, he's hurting the team. I want to scream in frustration but I know it will do no good.

Breezy is playing with one of the church teams. They have a tournament on Saturday and we'll be finished with that.

We'll gain 2 free days back with the end of soccer. We need days at home. This always on the go is tiring.

This morning, Chaz told me that he had no long pants. He's been wearing shorts to school every day. He has one pair of jeans that fit and two pairs of sweatpants. He wore sweatpants to school today and actually looked good. So this weekend, we'll have to find him at least a couple pairs. I'm so thankful Breezy has as many pairs as she does.

I'm sitting at A's updating facebook and the blog, checking email and just hanging out.

Today I recovered a couple examination books with pretty covers. I may do them all with nice covers and give them away. I know that I want to do several to add to my Christmas stuff to record Christmas memories in. I'll post a picture later this week when I get the camera out.

I discovered an awesome photo web page. Picnik. Wow. What a great page.

I need to start picking up the kids Christmas stuff. No clue what they want but got to find something. Maybe clothes? Game? Watch? Suggestions?

cars & toothpaste

It's been a week. A very long week.

Monday, my eyes hurt so bad it felt like my eyeballs were going to explode.

Wednesday seemed like the longest day on earth.

Thursday night as I was headed to Walmart, I saw a white 'vette while I was waiting in the turn lane at a light. As the couple went through the light, the 'vette died. I waited for the light, pulled a u-turn to go back and see if I could help. They said no, they were out to test drive it when it died. All I wanted to do was cry and I have no idea why.

Friday, a dear man who goes to our church lost his battle with cancer. He battled so long and so hard. Our athletic field is named after him. His service and burial are tomorrow.

Saturday, my van was nearly repossessed. I was behind on payments and I reacted the way I normally do. If I don't know what to say or do, I do nothing. It came to a head Saturday morning. We cleaned the van completely out because I didn't think I'd have it when I got back from the place I bought it. The gentleman was really nice and I told him that I didn't call because I had no idea what to say or do. I gave him nearly everything I had left in my account and I'll go see him the next three paydays and finish paying it off. All the way there I prayed. I called a friend to have her pray as well. Nothing but the grace of God and the mercy of the owner. Thank you Lord!

Today, I came back into the bookstore and there was a tube of toothpaste (new) sitting on my counter. I remember thinking "I brush my teeth and I'm watching the words I speak, surely this must be someone else's?" Right before I left, a lady came in and said God had told her a while back to give it to me. She said she finally got around to it. As I left today, I was praying God, what is this?

A little while ago, my brother Keith came in and we were talking. I told him about the car, my eyes, the toothpaste. He said "you're being squeezed. What's coming out?" He went on..."How am I reacting to the things that God is pulling out of me? Things like the payment on the van? The head in the sand attitude that isn't helping?" And then he asked who was praying over me. No one that I know specifically. I call occasionally to Andrea or Nancy to pray but no one that I know consistently. Before he left to go to his class, he prayed over me. And all I wanted to do was cry. Still do.

Found out why my head was spinning the last couple days. A good case of vertigo will do wonders for your perspective!

Church was good this morning. The series title is Kairos.

The average person lives 77 years. 924 months. 4004 weeks. 28105 days. 674520 hours. 40471200 minutes. 242827200 seconds. Time is ticking.

Why am I doing what I'm doing? Who am I becoming?

Pastor used the illustration of juggling. What am I juggling? Are they things that make a difference? Is my schedule full or fulfilling?

I believe I am making a difference but I also see my schedule as full and a lot does not point towards eternity.

He talked of giving my "priorities" the test. The eternity test. The funeral test. The fire test.

Does what I'm doing have a lasting importance? Will someone cry at my funeral? Did I make a difference in anyone's life? What would I take in a fire? What do I consider important enough to take with me and what would I leave behind?

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:28-33

Time is a value issue.

Anyway, it was good and I'm hearing it a second time right now. It makes me think. Makes me wonder what changes I can make in my life.