whew, long time

I know, I know. it's been a while. A long while.

Much has happened. School is out. I spent the last week of the school year in the hospital. Um yup.

I've been having really bad headaches for months. Little numbness in my hands every now and again. The last Monday in May, I tried to give blood but my blood pressure was 152/104. To say the least they wouldn't let me give. So I went ahead with the kids and went to the movies.

On Tuesday, I didn't feel right so I let my supervisor know and went to the emergency room. My B/P was 152/98 when I got there. I was having that pins and needle feeling in my left arm. The doctor had me put on a heart monitor and hooked to an iv for fluids. They pulled some blood. He seemed to think it was just my B/P until they got the blood test results back. Everything was normal except I had troponin in my blood. Troponin is only supposed to be in your blood if you have had a heart attack or are going to have a heart attack. So they admitted me to the hospital. The next day, I had a echocardiogram and a stress test. Both turned out normal and later that day they released me with no answer about the troponin levels.

On Thursday, I was getting ready for work when I had an intense pain across the center of my back. I thought geez, I really slept well to cause this much pain in my back. But the pain started getting worse, and then I started thinking women present for heart attacks in their back. I'm pretty sure I panicked because then I started feeling tightness in the chest. I dropped Chaz at school and called a friend to come and pick up Breezy from the hospital.

By the time I got to the ER, my B/P was 198/100. They pulled some blood again, started a heart monitor and iv. Again, there was troponin in my blood but everything else looked ok. I explained what was going on and they decided to send me to a local hospital via ambulance.

Off to the hospital I go. Thank goodness they don't run sirens when they transport someone like that. whew! Within 30 minutes of arriving at the hospital, the cardiologist on call had me in for a heart catheterization. Everything normal. He scheduled me for a CT scan at 5 a.m. the next morning. They slapped nitro patches on me and kept me on the heart monitor all night. Put me on blood pressure medications.

The next morning, the tech came in to take me for the CT scan. I was back in my room by 6. Then I waited. And waited and waited. The doctor never did show up. When I asked about him, I was told he hadn't made rounds of the floor yet. By the time they paged him and he returned the page, he was over 40 miles from Pensacola. He told them to release me, my tests were fine. Excuse me? Did I miss something? To say the least I was pissed.

A friend called someone at the hospital who worked there and she came to see me. They paged the doctor again. He finally called back and said he had the ER doctor write me a prescription for the blood pressure medications and that when he came to see me I was having a test done. Don't even get me started on that comment. I left the hospital over 12 hours after the CT scan with two prescriptions for the blood pressure medications. As I was being discharged, the nurse told me that my troponin levels were normal and had been since just after I arrived at the hospital the day before. Do you think maybe someone should have told me earlier?

I am grateful to God that I am ok. I'm 45 years old and now know that both my heart and lungs are in good condition. I am slowly losing weight (4 pounds already). I'm eatting better. Moving more. I thank God that I will be around for my children.

Last week, I went to a funeral for a friend's nephew. He was under 20 and had committed suicide. Wow! My heart goes out to the family for the unanswered questions left by his death. It was a tough funeral to attend. It was also the first funeral Chaz and Breezy have been to.

After the funeral, I called the kids dad to again encourage him to stay in contact with them. Let him know that they both have Facebook accounts with dozens of pictures. He told me they had trouble connecting to Facebook. (Only people I know with that particular problem.)

They have both had cell phones for 22 months and in all that time he has called 3 times total. I received an email the next day saying not to contact him any longer and if the kids wanted to talk to him that they could call.

How could you not want to keep contact with two of the most amazing kids ever? That's not just my opinion as a Mom. That is the report of everyone who works with them, mentors them, loves them. Amazing children. And I'm angry all over again at him.

So, I'm preparing a draft message to respond to him with. I'll save it. One of these days, I'll need it when they start asking questions. A friend is reviewing it with me to make sure I don't let my emotions override what needs to be said.

I also talked to that friend about what would happen if something happened to me. She told me that she and her husband had already discussed it. They would like the kids to come live with them. I talked to it with Breezy a little bit. She is good with that idea. I've not talked to Chaz about it. After we discuss it, I will be having my will prepared and select the executor of the estate.

Other than that, the last month and a half haven't been bad. I've taken a lot of pictures. I recently figured out how many I have posted on Facebook. Over 2000. One day I'd love to own a DSLR camera (with an autofocus mode too) to take better pictures. My daddy was a photographer on the side. He took beautiful pictures. My mother is a great photographer as well. This apple didn't fall too far from the tree. I'd love to take professional portrait photos, landscape, animals, whatever. Just let me take some pictures.



Saw Joshua Stevens, Steven Cochran and John Michael Montgomery in concert at the base with my sister. Incredible concert. Steven Cochran has quite the testimony. A tour in Iraq and Afghanistan. He was injured in Afghanistan and he said he woke up a month later at Bethesda. He said he was told he would never walk again. He's walking and talking and singing. God is good.

Ah, but Eli Stone was on last night. We watched. I still can't believe ABC canceled it. I'll be sending them another email. It was great!

Chaz and Breezy will be attending a youth conference at the church on Monday and Tuesday. Then Wednesday - Saturday they will be at a worship conference. They are pretty excited about it.

Today, they are spending time with friends out on the water. I thank God for the incredible mentors he has placed in their lives. People who care and show that they care.

I miss you Daddy.

hello?

It's been a while.

Summer school is over. Vacation Bible School is over (both at BAC and ESC). The kids are out at the beach with the Bloom Event that is being held for the youth.

VBS. It was good. Both of them. Chaz and Breezy both helped lead the worship portion of the daily sessions. During the BAC VBS they also were crew leaders. It is so cool to know that God is working in them and has given them a heart to minister to children. I know it didn't come from me! LOL My portion of VBS is the registration and first aid.

Since May 3rd, I've attended 5 weddings and missed 2. I'm aware of at least 3 more engagements that have occured in that time frame as well. Two of the weddings are supposed to take place before the end of the year and one next summer.

For the last couple months I have been interested in a guy at the church. He has recently come back to the church. He and I became members at the same time in '02 and he left for a season. The smile is devastating. I finally got to spend more than 2 minutes talking to him on Sunday. It was a good conversation. The subject? The defunct over 30's singles group at church and what we need for a new one. A little personal stuff about work and kids. Although there seems to possibly be an attraction, I got the impression he's not interested in a relationship. So, I can toss that to the wind. Of course, I know, it's not my timing. It's God's timing. I'm ok with that. I've been single this long, what's a while longer? I'd rather have the one that God intended for me than to screw it up again. I am teachable. It only took 3 tries to learn though. *smile*

Things have been tight around the house. No real paychecks between now and the end of August, it's real tight. The rent and the car payment is paid from my retirement check. I have a small check that comes in from some part time work. It's the electric bill, water bill, and cell phone bill that I need to come up with. Oh yeah, food and gasoline for August. Nothing too big. People tend to think I'm overly optimistic. However, I know God has provided every single year since I've been working at the school I know He'll provide again... somehow some way.

My computer is still non-functioning as well. I did 2 customer service surveys for the Geek Squad. After the first one, the manager called me and said he'd order the recovery disks for my computer. After 4 weeks, I still have not recieved the disk. I sent the 2nd survey on the 17th of this month. No response. On the 24th I emailed Best Buy. I recieved the "canned" email response saying they'd contact me within 3 days but it's now 5 days later and no word. Now to figure out what to do. My thoughts have run from contacting the channel 5 consumer department for assistance or seeing if I could start a "urban legend" all by myself. Neither ring true at the moment so I'm being patient. Out of the last 100 or so days, 42 of the days, my computer was with the Geek Squad, 30 days, my computer was not working properly, and for the last 40 days, it doesn't work at all.

I am ready to go back to work. I go back on the 13th. Breezy and Chaz on the 18th. Breezy will be an 8th grader and Chaz will be a sophmore. It is good. At the wedding this past Saturday, I was looking at a pew full of teens and realized how much I love those kids. Makes me want to cry just thinking about it. If I decide to stay with the Health Department after this year, maybe I'll see if I can move up to high school from middle school. Ya never know.

My brother will be home from Iraq for a couple weeks in August. We get regular updates through the blog that his significant other set up for him. He is safe and we are still praying for him.

Prayer. Over Spring Break, I went to our Eastern Shore Campus for a Sunday service. It was suggested that I pray Psalm 91 over my brother for his safety while in Iraq. I missed a couple days that first week but have been faithfully praying it now for 3+ months. I added my other brother, Chaz, Breezy, and my names to it as well. There is something comfortable about reading it outloud with our names in it.

Movies. The base has free matinees on Wednesdays for the first showing. The kids have seen Kung Fu Panda and Speed Racer. I saw Prince Caspian twice. I really like the movie and the soundtrack is awesome. I decided the song "This is Home" by Switchfoot would make an awesome wedding song. Guess I'll file that away for future reference.

I've got my memories
They're always
Inside of me
But I can't go back
Back to how it was
I believe now
I've come too far
No I can't go back
Back to how it was
Created for a place
I've never known

Chorus:
This is home
Now I'm finally
Where I belong
Where I belong
Yeah, this is home
I've been searching
For a place of my own
Now I've found it
Maybe this is home
Yeah, this is home

Belief over misery
I've seen the enemy
And I won't go back

Back to how it was
And I got my heart
Set on
What happens next
I got my eyes wide
It's not over yet
We are miracles
And we're not alone

(Chorus)

And now after all
My searching
After all my questions
I'm gonna call it home
I got a brand new mindset
I can finally see
The sunset
I'm gonna call it home

(Chorus)

Now I know
Yeah, this is home

I've come too far
Now I won't go back
This is home

I am thankful for my children walking with God, a home, a working automobile, friends who love us, an amazing church family, a job, sunshine and rain.

That's all for now. later gators.

worship

If anyone reading is a praying person, please keep my friend KB's son in your prayers. He is an autistic adult who has been living up north for all of his life. He has recently become homeless and his caseworker cannot find him. His Mom is worried sick. The temperatures in their area has been in the 30's. Please pray that he is found quickly and in good health and for KB to have peace. Thank you.

I'm sitting at church listening to the youth band warm up for the worship service tonight. It blows me away every time how good they are and how they lead the youth (and grown-ups) into the presence of God. Gives me goosebumps thinking about it. I'm ready for tonight's worship.

Tomorrow night is night of worship for big church. All three campus worship leaders get together to lead worship for an hour and a half. Very good.

Report cards came out last week. Breezy made A/B honor roll (GPA: 3.71). Chaz had 3 A's, 3 B's and 1 C (GPA: 3/14). This is much better for both of them this year. I'm so proud of them. Yah!

Almost time for me to go pick Chaz up from his soccer practice. His first official game is tomorrow. He's going to be playing with jv. Later.

I skipped....

posting on my birthday. Yes, another year gone by. I turned 44 last week. It was good. A friend took us out to lunch. Hugs from my kids. Being sung happy birthday to by the VBS crew and sharing it with a gentleman whose birthday was also the 9th.

I went back to work today. Within a short time I was rather angry. Breezy cannot sit in the clinic with me any more in the mornings. The bad part of that is we are out of district and I have to provide transportation for her. It appears that she will be staying at a friend's house in the mornings and riding the bus with a friend of mine's daughter. It disappoints me alot and I know that it disappoints Breezy. Chaz got to sit in the clinic every morning before school and she can't for her last two years. I feel like she's being cheated of that time with me in the mornings.

In other things, last night was the dry run of Crossover at church. Our youth program is moving to Tuesday nights from Wednesday nights. It was awesome. Crossover has a youth band that absolutely was phenomenal last night. The prayer was awesome. I'm going to work the Turn Life discipleship program, greeting and altar ministry. Chaz is working media and Breezy will work check-in.

Well, shoot, need to scoot for now. more later.

Another week....

It has been a good week.

A movie...

Lunch with a friend and an early birthday present...

A little time spent beading. This is a necklace, anklet, and bracelet made from golden jade, tiger eye, and aventurine. It's got an oriental feel.


We went to Johnson's Beach for a birthday party yesterday. First time I've been to the beach in a couple years. I'm not particularly fond of the sand or sun for that matter. LOL The party was good. The kids had a blast. The grownups played a few games of Mexican train.



This pic is the kids goofing around at home. They're quite the clowns when they want to be.



And the last pic is one of my favorite pics of the summer. It's a little off center but too cute. Not something I made but way too cute. LOL



I've decided to make bracelets for my sister's for Christmas. I'm working on the supply list so I can place an order in September with Fire Mountain Beads.

No clay class this week because the teacher had an emergency. I may make vases as well for everyone.

I'm sitting here watching the kids practice their new drama for youth. I'm wondering when they'll actually do this one. Our new youth night kicks off on the 21st of this month. One whole night dedicated to the 6th through 12th graders. It is good. Chaz will be working the cafe, Breezy with the registration, and I'll be working greeter and TurnLife/altar ministry. Keeping up with the youth will keep me on my toes and my knees.

My nephew is now in my favorite place.... that'd be Japan for those who don't know me. He climbed Mt. Fuji in his first month there. I can't even begin to imagine having climbed it without climatizing first. Whoa.

About time to scoot. Small group starts in less than an hour.