Busy week both at work and at home. A few new discoveries. A few lessons. Just what we all need. Right?

Pastor Josh preached the first part of "Welcome to the Family." God brings us into His family and calls us to love one another as we love Him. How we have a tendency to allow gossip to color our world and view of others.

Unfortunately, I have done that a couple times in the last year. I've been guilty let someone else's personal feelings color my view of people. People who while I didn't always agree with what they did, I knew they were good and godly people. And for a short time, I viewed them differently. Both times God pointed it out to me rather sharply. Ouch! I'm sorry for listening to the gossip, participating in it, and acting on it. Sorrier for not listening to the prompting of the Holy Spirit this last time that it wasn't right and listening anyway.

Pastor B is preaching on "How to Ruin Your Life" today. It's part 3 of the series. How negativity can ruin your life. He talks of how Paul was in prison and didn't let being in prison ruin his life. How Paul could have been negative and angry over being in prison yet he chose to worship God. He wrote the letters to the Corinthians.

Three of the ladies from the choir sang "Anyway" by Martina McBride. What an amazing rendition. I'm glad it's going to be on today's recording of the service. So good, I can't wait to hear it again the second service!

You can spend your whole life building
Something from nothin'
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway

You can chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
I do it anyway

This world's gone crazy
It's hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all your heart
For all the right reasons
In a moment they can choose to walk away
Love 'em anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
Yea - I do it anyway

You can pour your soul out singing
A song you believe in
That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway
Yea, sing it anyway
Yeah, yeah!

I sing
I dream
I love anyway

Last night we attended a get together at our friends' home to celebrate a birthday. The birthday girl turned 20 and is from Japan. The Japanese hold a big coming of age celebration when they turn 20. There were around 30 people ranging in age from 11 to 50 at the party. Good food, DDR, ping pong, air hockey, movies and mostly good company. I didn't think I was ever going to get my kids to leave. We finally made it out of the house on the 3rd try at 11:15!!! I'm pretty sure they'd stay there all the time if I gave them the chance. Heh.

I discovered a marvelous coffee shop on Navy Blvd about a mile out the front gate of NAS. It's called Martelli's. The atmosphere was wonderful. The music was Frank Sinatra and some other singers from that era. There was a warmth to the place that made you feel at home. The pictures on the walls were vintage black and white photos of the family. Old cameras and a phonograph were part of the decor. There was actually a decorative fountain in the middle of the room as well. Lovely chess boards on a couple tables so customers could play a game. A few other board games were available as well. Free wi-fi too! The pumpkin patch mocha latte was yummy! A friend of mine told me that he and his wife go there on Sunday after church every now and again for lunch. She told me this morning that the prices are excellent and her kids love the food too. Sounds like something I need to try with Chaz and Breezy.

Got a haircut (or two). Feels like a ton of weight has fallen off my head. Whew!

Work was busy too. One of our "clients" this week was a teacher with a pretty good size "boo-boo" on his leg. He had fallen off his bike a week or so ago and the pedal gouged his leg. Then he fell while playing basketball a couple days later and reopened it. By the time we saw it, it was red and angry looking and most likely infected. He had to have been in some pain. Friday he made a doctor's appointment to get it checked. We'll find out tomorrow how bad it was.

Well, the service is nearly over and this set of DVD's is nearly done. Hafa Adai and Sayonora!

Oh yeah, I realized two weeks ago that I've been divorced for nearly 5 years. For some reason, I thought it was only 3 years. duh.

I've been trying to head home for 2 hours and we're still here! LOL

I'll write more tomorrow!

do you ever wonder?

wonder if someone cares? You know they do but it's something so far in the distance that it doesn't feel like it? I feel that way.

what a month...

And that is has been... a month since I showed up here.

School is in full swing. We drop Chaz off at high school each morning and then Breezy and I continue on to our school. She doesn't get to sit in my clinic but sits in the room right outside the door. It still doesn't completely please me but at least we have some time before her day starts to talk.

I changed a few things in how I pray for them each morning. On our way to drop Chaz off, I pray for Chaz specifically. For wisdom, peace, discernment, teachable spirit and that people would see God in all that he says and does, and for protection. Then between there and Breezy and my school, I pray the same over Breezy. Slowly their are new changes in their countenances. Good changes.

We've had our first Take Stock in Children meeting. Chaz has a new mentor. We had wanted to stay with the one from last year but that wasn't to be. Maybe this is an opportunity to reach out to the old mentor as a family instead of just an hour a week with the mentor alone? Breezy hasn't met her mentor yet but should this week.

We had the opportunity to meet with some of the international students from UWF a couple weeks ago. Some friends of mine have been working with Friends of International out of Mobile. Friends of International ministers to the international students at USA in Mobile. These friends are looking to establish the same type of relationship with the international students of UWF here in Pensacola. The get together included approximately 15 students from Korea, Taiwan, Japan, and Sweden, along with my friends, my children, and two other missionaries who are associated with our church. What an awesome time together. Time spent just talking, eatting pizza and ice cream, and playing games like pool, ping pong and sumo wrestling. You know, the blow up sumo suits? Well, that's an experience in itself. I'll have to find the pictures to share. It was hilarious.

The awesomest part of this is that Chaz who has always been against my idea of traveling back to Japan to live and work has decided he wants to learn to speak Japanese. YAH! Of course, he wants to learn Spanish as well. Breezy can't wait to go to one of the get togethers again. Which is a huge relief because I took both of them nearly kicking and screaming "I don't want to go!!!" LOL

Our pastor is celebrating his 15th year at our church. There will be a special concert tonight by Rita Springer. Yah.

Rita Springer and the rest of the Fragrant Oil team was here the end of August for a women's conference. Over 500 women came to be ministered to and refreshed with God's word.

A men's conference of not quite so many men was held a couple weeks ago. I suspect the majority of the men weren't aware I sat through the entire thing in the sound booth. God really spoke to me through the words the pastors preached. There are several things I need to deal with from my past that I thought I was over but realized I wasn't. It also reminded me that although it seems I am always with Chaz and Breezy that our time together isn't always quality time. Now to work quality time back into our schedule.

I am thinking of starting college. I'm 44 and have been fearful most of my life about college. Sounds strange but it's true. I once wanted to study art but feared that I would get there and be told what I do is crap.

The really sad part is that I can close my eyes and see a scene from 6th grade at the elementary school I attended and the word crap being used to describe somethings I had drawn. The exact person, the room, every detail so clear. Like it was yesterday. As I spoke to someone in our church about this last Sunday, she asked to pray over it with me. When she started praying, tears welled up in my eyes and I could feel the release from the fear beginning.

How often do we (me included) let the fears of the past haunt us in our living today? Way too much in my case. It's time to move on.

I skipped....

posting on my birthday. Yes, another year gone by. I turned 44 last week. It was good. A friend took us out to lunch. Hugs from my kids. Being sung happy birthday to by the VBS crew and sharing it with a gentleman whose birthday was also the 9th.

I went back to work today. Within a short time I was rather angry. Breezy cannot sit in the clinic with me any more in the mornings. The bad part of that is we are out of district and I have to provide transportation for her. It appears that she will be staying at a friend's house in the mornings and riding the bus with a friend of mine's daughter. It disappoints me alot and I know that it disappoints Breezy. Chaz got to sit in the clinic every morning before school and she can't for her last two years. I feel like she's being cheated of that time with me in the mornings.

In other things, last night was the dry run of Crossover at church. Our youth program is moving to Tuesday nights from Wednesday nights. It was awesome. Crossover has a youth band that absolutely was phenomenal last night. The prayer was awesome. I'm going to work the Turn Life discipleship program, greeting and altar ministry. Chaz is working media and Breezy will work check-in.

Well, shoot, need to scoot for now. more later.

Another week....

It has been a good week.

A movie...

Lunch with a friend and an early birthday present...

A little time spent beading. This is a necklace, anklet, and bracelet made from golden jade, tiger eye, and aventurine. It's got an oriental feel.


We went to Johnson's Beach for a birthday party yesterday. First time I've been to the beach in a couple years. I'm not particularly fond of the sand or sun for that matter. LOL The party was good. The kids had a blast. The grownups played a few games of Mexican train.



This pic is the kids goofing around at home. They're quite the clowns when they want to be.



And the last pic is one of my favorite pics of the summer. It's a little off center but too cute. Not something I made but way too cute. LOL



I've decided to make bracelets for my sister's for Christmas. I'm working on the supply list so I can place an order in September with Fire Mountain Beads.

No clay class this week because the teacher had an emergency. I may make vases as well for everyone.

I'm sitting here watching the kids practice their new drama for youth. I'm wondering when they'll actually do this one. Our new youth night kicks off on the 21st of this month. One whole night dedicated to the 6th through 12th graders. It is good. Chaz will be working the cafe, Breezy with the registration, and I'll be working greeter and TurnLife/altar ministry. Keeping up with the youth will keep me on my toes and my knees.

My nephew is now in my favorite place.... that'd be Japan for those who don't know me. He climbed Mt. Fuji in his first month there. I can't even begin to imagine having climbed it without climatizing first. Whoa.

About time to scoot. Small group starts in less than an hour.

welcome home....

Chaz and Breezy have been home for two weeks now. I barely recognized them when they came off the plane. Both have grown at least an inch and in Breezy's case, I think it was two. All the changes were not good. Breezy came back with an attitude that needs adjusting. She also brought back two pairs of shorts that aren't fit to wear in public. She said her aunt told her they "covered everything." Not! Nothing modest at all about 1/2 the clothes she brought home and she brought home alot.

VBS finished. Over 450 kids visited for at least one day. The high day attendance was 381. Low day was 331. That's alot of kids!

This has been the summer of the movies. With a friend's help (she works at the Rave so gets free admission for herself and a friend), I've seen Ocean 13, Nancy Drew, Live Free or Die Hard, Evan Almighty. Also seen Shrek 3, Spiderman 3, and Surf's Up. All of them were good.

We're supposed to go see Harry Potter 5 this week. And I read book 7. Very good. It's going to make it hard to see the rest of the movies with some of the plot lines that tied up in the 7th book in the back of my head.

Well, I'm off. The kids have a CORE meeting at the church for youth and I have a School Advisory Committee meeting at the same time.

Whoa.... 328 kids at VBS today. 418 registered. It was busy! But man, was it good.

My sister is going to bring my nephew down to stay so he can go to VBS also. She'll be here in a couple hours to drop him off.

Breezy and Chaz will be home tomorrow. I love them dearly but have been amazed by the number of people who want to meet them at the airport. At least 15 kids have asked about going to the airport. One of them is working VBS and can't leave until noon so his mom is actually going to pick him up and drive him out instead of him riding with me since I have to leave early. I talked to his mom at lunch today about it and she and I both were sitting at the end of the table crying. It makes me cry just thinking about it and typing this out even now. God is so good and He definitely has His hands on my babies.

I'm headed home. Sis called and wants me to meet her at O'Charleys for dinner and then pick up her son. That works for me.

Mingle² - Blog Rating

That was the frivolous part of the morning.

VBS. Whew! It starts Monday. We didn't get out of the church until a little after 1 a.m. this morning and were back early for the kickoff meeting.

The copies are made. The Sanctuary is decorated already. Atrium is done. That leaves the individual rooms still need to be done.

There are over 200 kids registered already and we're expecting another 150 kids to register on Monday morning. Whoa. Kids!

Breezy and Chaz get back Tuesday afternoon. I talked to them on Thursday and they are having alot of fun and aren't ready to come home.

Outta here again. Time to go bck to work.

stuffeth...

We got notification Tuesday that Breezy recieved a TSIC scholarship! YAH God! It pays for two years tuition at any junior/community college and two years at any university in the state of Florida. This is the same type scholarship Chaz has already. What a blessing!

Spent Tuesday evening with my Mom and her husband, my sister and her sons. Then to my sister's house to spend the night and play cards on Wednesday. Drove home around 7 p.m. and had no desire to sit in the heat with 100's of people so I skipped the fireworks and watched the Boston Pops/fireworks on tv.

Today has been spent doing VBS stuff and having my eyes reexamined. I'm still having trouble with my vision. We'll see what happens with the corrected glasses. Say a prayer.

Tomorrow... more VBS. Saturday... VBS. Sunday... VBS. Monday.... Tuesday.... Wednesday.... Thursday.... Friday.... Yup, you got it, VBS.

Chaz and Breezy get home on Tuesday. I'll leave VBS early to go pick them up. Their dad flew back to England last Saturday. I know they had a good visit. He told me I did a "good job raising them."

More later. Time to get back to VBS. Of course. *s*

Happy Birthday Baby...

Breezy turns 12 today. She's visiting with her Dad, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins in Washington/Oregon.

Her dad took her golfing (in Oregon) for her birthday since that was what she wanted to do. Her birthday party will be in Washington tonight.

Chaz played golf with his dad on Friday (Saturday?). They took 1st place in the tournament they were playing in.

Their aunt sent me a picture of all of them today. Their dad's hair is turning gray but he looks almost the same as he did when I saw him last in 2001.

Two more days of summer school and then the rest of the summer is off. Agenda is working in the library at church, Vacation Bible School, and a few movies possibly.

I have a friend who works at a movie theater. One of her perks is free movies with up to 3 people. Last week, she and I saw Ocean 13 and Nancy Drew. I liked them both and will most likely buy Nancy Drew when it comes out on video. We're going to see Evan Almighty tomorrow and planning on seeing Ratouille and Live Free or Die Hard next week.

Still need to upload pics of the last two clocks I made, the prayer window and possibly the "dead tree" I'm working on.

Time to scoot. VBS work to do.

so good...

While I have been freaked out over the rent payment and the kids being gone, God has had it in His hands all along. Thank you Lord!

gone....

Breezy and Chaz made it to Seattle intact. They didn't have a lot to say about the flight other than they were the last ones off the plane.

Their aunt says Chaz looks just like his dad and Breezy is nearly as tall as she is.

It was hard putting them on the plane. Strange to get up and know they weren't in the house this morning too.

kids and conference

Chaz and Breezy leave tomorrow to head northwest. I'll drive them to the airport in the morning and put them on a plane. It's been a rough last couple days. I'm nervy although I know they can handle. Can I?

We were planning on going home to finish getting packed and they asked to attend tonight's session of the conference at the church. Then told me that they wished they were flying out on Friday instead of Wednesday so they could participate in the whole thing. wow.

As the worship began, the clouds began to come in and it seemed as if they were the heaviest over the church. Then came the rain. God is so good. We need the rain in more ways than one. We need the rain to water this earth that's so dry from the drought we seem to be in. And we need the rain of God in our lives to refresh and awaken us.

sunsets, rainbows, trees, life

It has been a good week. Slowest week of work ever. I only saw 5 kids the entire week. Really. So instead of taking care of kids, I helped in the office by sorting supplies, answering phones and taking muster (or attendance for those non Navy folk). It was good.

The prayer board is finished. A friend gave me some chicken wire and let me use her staple gun to put it together. It looks good sitting on top of my bookcase. I'll take a pic later and post it. Monday, I made 112 tags that I can use to put prayer requests and pictures on. Decided the back of the tags can be used for addresses too. I'll make a little box to drop tags in that have answered prayers whether yes, no or you must be kidding!

Wednesday I stopped by an antique store off of Navy Blvd and found an old Womans Day magazine from March of 1967. The picture of Easter eggs decorated as butterflies caught my eye but when I read the first article listed I knew I needed it. Title? "what tv is doing to your children" Um, that's good. Also found a farmers almanac from 1971 and a book of 55 community songs. Both are aged well and will make nice additions to clocks, cards, and collages. Not decided yet if I'll make copies and age the copies or use the originals. What to do what to do.

Today scored big too. I've been driving to school all week up and down the same road and today, I saw the perfect tree to put in my bedroom (I know it sounds funny but that's ok). I've been wanting a branch to stand in the corner of my bedroom and hang birdhouses, pictures and a couple little mushroom birds on. This tree had been cut down earlier this week (last week?) but not well. The leaves were all dry and falling off but the trunk hadn't been cut well. So I phoned a friend who brought his chainsaw and finished cutting it for me and he trimmed off the top 2 feet of it. We got it in my van but couldn't close the back so I drove all the way home with it open. No broken windows fortunately.

On the way home, there was the most beautiful sunset ever over Perdido Key off Lillian Hwy. And then, there was a double rainbow. It's the first double rainbow I've seen in years. Only the left hand side of it was visible but it was gorgeous. Got pictures of both. I'll get them uploaded later and add them.

God is so good. He brought rain, a trip for my kids to see their dad, a dead tree for my bedroom, sunset and rainbow, a job for part of the summer. I am blessed coming and going. Friends who care, who pray with me, laugh and cry with me.

One pair of friends we had dinner with last night. The husband was a friend when I was in the Navy way back in 1982. The wife I have met since they started attending our north campus. The kids swam, watched movies, and played while they and I discussed music and God. It was good.

The kids leave Wednesday. It will be strange for them not to be around. I talked to their dad a few days ago. He still didn't have his ticket back to the states. I let him know that he needed to be sure he came home to see them. I'm not sure what their reaction will be if he doesn't make it there. Say a prayer for them and their Dad. It's going to be an adjustment for all three of them. Breezy and Chaz are pretty well grounded in God and pretty opinionated as well. They've not seen him in 6 years.

What will I do with all this free time? I signed up for Blockbuster Access online. Star Trek Voyager is the word of the day. My goal is to make it through at least 2 seasons of the show while they are gone.

Also thinking about attending The Call in Nashville on 07.07.07. Haven't made the final decision yet but it may be the breakthrough I'm needing with God.

Today I'm thankful for my children, friends, and rainbows.

it's been a week. Schools out. funeral. another death.

need some prayer. alot. alot.

Nan passed away on Monday. She was a wonderful woman with a huge heart. Devoted mother, children's pastor, teacher, and so much more. She will be greatly missed.

Her homegoing ceremony is tomorrow at noon.

Rest in Peace my friend.

catching up....

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Couple things I had forgotten to post.

1. I've been saved 5 years today. God chose me first. I didn't chose him first. I have been reminded of this in the last couple weeks and it's true. While I know I have grown in my walk with God, I still feel I am missing alot. There are things I could do to help grow more but I let time slip through my fingers way too often. Thank you God for your mercy and grace.

2. I paid off my van last Saturday. Yes, the van that was nearly repossessed in February. Got the title. Thank you Lord.

3. Breezy and Chaz will be flying to WA/OR to see their Dad and his side of the family in a couple weeks and will be gone for 27 days. In 2001, they saw their Dad in England for a month. In 2002, they stayed with my sister for two weeks. Since then, the longest I have gone without seeing them has 3 days for Night of Joy at Disney and 2 days for ATF. They spend the night with friends regularly but that's not the same. This is a major step for me. Letting them go this time is hard. They are older. They will have access to stuff I know they shouldn't be seeing or partaking of. Prayer. A lot of it. Breezy and Chaz have been praying about visiting with their Dad for years. I know because a friend of mine who works with children and youth ministry has heard their prayer requests.

4. School gets out on Thursday. I'll be out for the last week of May and go back to work on the 4th of June. I'll be running a clinic for summer school.

5. There is a teacher at the school who I think is flirting with me. You know it's been a while since I've been out or flirted that I don't realize it until I walk away and think about it for 10-15 minutes. Duh. Flirting used to be a huge part of my life before I met the kid's Dad. After we separated in 2000, it became part of my life again. In 2002, I stopped flirting. Every now and then I catch myself and think man, what are you doing?

6. I get my glasses this week! YAHOO! I'll be able to read without fighting to focus!

7. I went to the beach yesterday for the first time in years (other than church picnics). I'm not particularly fond of sand but it was nice out and the kids wanted to go. They were with the "other Deb" and she called to say she'd take them. I ended up meeting them at the base. I got some great pictures of Breezy, a few of Chaz, and some super pics of the base lighthouse. You know, the one that they no longer do tours of? I'm glad we climbed it years ago.

8. Last but not least, se are praying for a friend at our church. The prognosis is not good. We are believing for a miracle. She and her husband are children's pastors. She is a home-schooling mom. One of the sweetest people I have ever met. She is in hospice care as of this weekend. Prayer. A lot of it is needed. Her name is Nan.

Well I won't pretend to know what you're thinking
And I can't begin to know what you're going through
And I won't deny the pain that you're feeling
But I'm gonna try and give a little hope to you
Just remember what I told you
There's so much your living for

There's a light at the end of this tunnel
There's a light at the end of this tunnel for you
For you
There's a light at the end of this tunnel
Shining bright at the end of this tunnel for you
For you
So keep holding on

You got your disappointments and sorrows
You ought to share the weight of that load with me
Then you will find that the light of tomorrow
Well it brings new life for your eyes to see
So remember what i told you
There's so much your living for

There's a light at the end of this tunnel
There's a light at the end of this tunnel for you
For you
There's a light at the end of this tunnel
Shining bright at the end of this tunnel for you
For you
So keep holding on
Keep holding on

So remember what i told you
There's so much your living for

There's a light at the end of this tunnel
There's a light at the end of this tunnel for you
For you yeah
There's a light at the end of this tunnel
Shining bright at the end of this tunnel for you
For you yeah
There's a light at the end of this tunnel ooh
For you, for you yeah
Shinging bright at the end of this tunnel
For you, for you
So keep holding on
Keep holding on
Keep holding on now

You got your disappointments and sorrows
I'm gonna try and give a little hope to you

Artist: Third Day from the "Wherever You Are" album

How can I be so encouraging to others yet so hard on my children and myself?

Happy Mother's Day

to my mom, my sisters, and all the other wonderful mom's out there.

I'm in a strange mood still. I've been online but there's not alot of pleasure from it lately. Even NTWS, ASB and SCS aren't doing alot for me. I don't think I remember a time in the last 8 years that the internet has bored me.

I have managed to reread the last 3 HP books in preparation for the release of HP5 in movie and HP7 in book form this summer.

The ex-inlaws and I are working on the kids tickets to Washington/Oregon for the month of June. Amazing but that trip is only 3 weeks away. What a change it will be for them, their dad and for me. I've not been without Breezy and Chaz for longer than 3 days since 2002.

My new glasses will be ready in about a week. I took the old ones to the place where I got them and no one could explain the reason for the script that was in them. This assumption that I cannot use my left eye aggravates me. I just want to be able to see and when the new glasses come in, I will finally be able to read with both eyes. (strange but true)

Time to go. Second service is over and people are looking for stuff.