Ever get the feeling you are being taken advantage of? Now all I need to do is pray and figure out how to handle this tactfully.
Hm... Tactful. That word was not in my vocubulary for a long long time. I'm a little slower to speak nowadays that I used to be.
Still need to get my clock on the wall. I had a nail and hammer out this morning trying to figure out where the studs were over the couch. Would you believe that after hammering that nail in ever 4 inches or so for two feet that I never hit a stud??? I can't believe it either. Guess I'll try again tonight after church.
Tomorrow, we're planting plants at my house. A small flower bed, edging the concrete where we can get to it. Maybe shoving the dirt back into the trenches that have been in my yard for two weeks. Never know.
I found this little thingie below on another blog and thought it was neat. Added it to my NTWS profile and will put it here as well. (hopefully the html will work right)
Later gators.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
ummm....
Today, I discovered that the only male I ever was a complete fool over is now registered at that Navy-type website I visit.
This would be the same male who I dreamed was dying and knew without a doubt that God was saying "you've not released him from your past."
The same male who it took several hours to write a letter to releasing years (and yes I mean years) worth of memories so I could move on.
The letter I carried for 4 or 5 months before I could burn it. And then it took over a dozen matches because the flame kept going out on the letter. *insert eye roll*
Life goes on. When I told a friend of mine, this and she said God is getting ready to do something for so much of my past to come up and need to be cleared. Amen.
I'm ready. I think!
This would be the same male who I dreamed was dying and knew without a doubt that God was saying "you've not released him from your past."
The same male who it took several hours to write a letter to releasing years (and yes I mean years) worth of memories so I could move on.
The letter I carried for 4 or 5 months before I could burn it. And then it took over a dozen matches because the flame kept going out on the letter. *insert eye roll*
Life goes on. When I told a friend of mine, this and she said God is getting ready to do something for so much of my past to come up and need to be cleared. Amen.
I'm ready. I think!
Sunday, March 25, 2007
seminar
I am a demo for Angel Company. I love the stamps. Acrylic mounting vs wood mount is the b*mb-diggity. Currently, I don't sell alot of stamps. I had been waiting until I had somewhere to give a Funshop and now have a big enough home to hold one in.
Their seminar is the end of June in Kansas City Missouri. I'm praying for the finances to attend. The total cost would be around a thousand bucks! Nothing less than a miracle would make that happen.
Can ya say a prayer with me?
Their seminar is the end of June in Kansas City Missouri. I'm praying for the finances to attend. The total cost would be around a thousand bucks! Nothing less than a miracle would make that happen.
Can ya say a prayer with me?
Friday, March 23, 2007
YAH! My clock is almost finished. The hand and motor came in the mail yesterday. I finished painting the face of the clock and the scripture on it last night (late). I sealed it this morning. A friend of mine is going to help me get the hands and motor attached to it and hung on the wall today. It turned out so cool. Absolutely God inspired! I'll attach a picture after I get it hung on the wall.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Monday
Most of my errands are run. The electric bill is paid. The pressed board for the clock is purchased and cut to size. The material for Chaz' bedroom curtains is bought.
A trip to the commissary for basics and we're done for the week.
It's a gorgeous day outside again. The ditch in my front yard is annoying but I've still got room to put a chair out and sit and listen to the birds.
I met another of my neighbors today. She was in Texas for surgery and recovery the first two months we lived in this house. She's a nice older lady.
The neighbor to my right came over and introduced himself on Friday. He's got a big dawg that makes alot of noise when the kids and I go anywhere near the fence. He was nice and offered to help with the lawn if I need help.
Last night's small group was about the infilling of the Holy Spirit. I can't seem to get my head outta the way when it comes to this. *sigh*
A trip to the commissary for basics and we're done for the week.
It's a gorgeous day outside again. The ditch in my front yard is annoying but I've still got room to put a chair out and sit and listen to the birds.
I met another of my neighbors today. She was in Texas for surgery and recovery the first two months we lived in this house. She's a nice older lady.
The neighbor to my right came over and introduced himself on Friday. He's got a big dawg that makes alot of noise when the kids and I go anywhere near the fence. He was nice and offered to help with the lawn if I need help.
Last night's small group was about the infilling of the Holy Spirit. I can't seem to get my head outta the way when it comes to this. *sigh*
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Sunshine!
It's an absolutely gorgeous day. The temp is a wee bit chilly but gorgeous just the same!
Spring Break has officially started. Yah! The plans for the week? In a word, Busy!
Sunday - Church, small group
Monday - Volleyball (6 p.m.)
Tuesday - Soccer practice (5 p.m.)
Wednesday - Church (4 p.m.)
Thursday - Soccer practice (5 p.m.)
Friday - CR (5 p.m.)
Saturday - Soccer game (9 a.m.)
Looky there, I've got free time almost every day! Heh. What to do what to do.
Make my 3x5 foot clock. Yeah, 3x5 foot. It's going to have a 2' clock dial on the front, working of course. Friday, I prepared a sheet of newsprint in that size to hang on the wall and work out the design. Friday night, I did a rough. Today or tomorrow, I'll go pick up the wood to make it. I've got the paint already. The hands and motor are on order and should be here on Wednesday or Thursday. It'll be ready to hang by the weekend. When I finish it, I'll take a picture and post it.
I'm also going to finish putting away the stuff in my bedroom. Rearrange my laundry room so I can store some boxes of craft supplies until I get shelfing to put all that stuff on. Make some thank you cards in preparation for the housewarming we're going to have on the 31st.
I forgot to post about Breezy's day sick and my day off on Monday. *grin*
Normally, when Breezy or Chaz is sick, I have them stay with a friend because if I'm not working, I'm not getting paid.
However... Sunday evening, Breezy decided she had a stomachache after small groups. Of course, she had it on Monday morning.
This is aggravating to me as she rarely sick during the weekend or later in the week. Just Monday mornings. hm...
I took Chaz to school, sat down and googled "stomachache, treatment, medical." What I got was WebMD.
Serve mild foods, such as rice, dry toast or crackers, gelatin, or applesauce.
So, we left and went to Walmart because I knew I was out of rice, crackers, and jello.
She refused chicken rice soup and chicken noodle soup. She refused plain crackers. I chose the jello and let her pick the gatorade.
She slept for 4 hours (I slept for 3). When she woke up she was hungry and asked what she could have. I told her jello, it's in the kitchen. She wasn't happy.
An hour later, she asked what she could have to eat. I told her jello, it's in the kitchen. Not happy again. She managed to find a package of chicken flavored rice in the cabinet and asked if she could have it. I caved and fixed it for her.
When she finished, she asked me if she could play a Nintendo Wii game, you know, the matching one. "Mom, I only have to move my hand to point." Um..... No. "Why?" Um.... because you're sick and I told you no. "Hmph." LOL
She wanted to go to the volleyball game because she felt better that night. I told her no again. She asked "why" again. Because you were home sick and when you're sick, you don't do anything.
One of her last comments to me was "I don't like that computer and the internet because you looked this up." LOL
Wonder how long it will be before she's sick again?
Spring Break has officially started. Yah! The plans for the week? In a word, Busy!
Sunday - Church, small group
Monday - Volleyball (6 p.m.)
Tuesday - Soccer practice (5 p.m.)
Wednesday - Church (4 p.m.)
Thursday - Soccer practice (5 p.m.)
Friday - CR (5 p.m.)
Saturday - Soccer game (9 a.m.)
Looky there, I've got free time almost every day! Heh. What to do what to do.
Make my 3x5 foot clock. Yeah, 3x5 foot. It's going to have a 2' clock dial on the front, working of course. Friday, I prepared a sheet of newsprint in that size to hang on the wall and work out the design. Friday night, I did a rough. Today or tomorrow, I'll go pick up the wood to make it. I've got the paint already. The hands and motor are on order and should be here on Wednesday or Thursday. It'll be ready to hang by the weekend. When I finish it, I'll take a picture and post it.
I'm also going to finish putting away the stuff in my bedroom. Rearrange my laundry room so I can store some boxes of craft supplies until I get shelfing to put all that stuff on. Make some thank you cards in preparation for the housewarming we're going to have on the 31st.
I forgot to post about Breezy's day sick and my day off on Monday. *grin*
Normally, when Breezy or Chaz is sick, I have them stay with a friend because if I'm not working, I'm not getting paid.
However... Sunday evening, Breezy decided she had a stomachache after small groups. Of course, she had it on Monday morning.
This is aggravating to me as she rarely sick during the weekend or later in the week. Just Monday mornings. hm...
I took Chaz to school, sat down and googled "stomachache, treatment, medical." What I got was WebMD.
Serve mild foods, such as rice, dry toast or crackers, gelatin, or applesauce.
So, we left and went to Walmart because I knew I was out of rice, crackers, and jello.
She refused chicken rice soup and chicken noodle soup. She refused plain crackers. I chose the jello and let her pick the gatorade.
She slept for 4 hours (I slept for 3). When she woke up she was hungry and asked what she could have. I told her jello, it's in the kitchen. She wasn't happy.
An hour later, she asked what she could have to eat. I told her jello, it's in the kitchen. Not happy again. She managed to find a package of chicken flavored rice in the cabinet and asked if she could have it. I caved and fixed it for her.
When she finished, she asked me if she could play a Nintendo Wii game, you know, the matching one. "Mom, I only have to move my hand to point." Um..... No. "Why?" Um.... because you're sick and I told you no. "Hmph." LOL
She wanted to go to the volleyball game because she felt better that night. I told her no again. She asked "why" again. Because you were home sick and when you're sick, you don't do anything.
One of her last comments to me was "I don't like that computer and the internet because you looked this up." LOL
Wonder how long it will be before she's sick again?
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Japan
I still want to go back to Japan. Some friends look at me as if I have sprouted wings or horns when I tell them this. "What is so good about Japan" they ask.
Japan, the culture, the people, the sights, the trains. Everything. I can't explain it. There is just this heart-felt desire to go back. Whether to work or as a missionary or to do both.
One of my favorite web sites/blogs is Japan Window. Every day Andy posts, he puts an image from Japan. As he's in Tokyo, I sometimes recognize what he is posting and it's good. Familiar.
One day I will scan in a few pictures I have from Japan and share here. Love it!
As for other things, sitemeter is down for sm1 which is where my counter is hosted from. I didn't realize that until today when I was scrounging around the net. Doh.
Japan, the culture, the people, the sights, the trains. Everything. I can't explain it. There is just this heart-felt desire to go back. Whether to work or as a missionary or to do both.
One of my favorite web sites/blogs is Japan Window. Every day Andy posts, he puts an image from Japan. As he's in Tokyo, I sometimes recognize what he is posting and it's good. Familiar.
One day I will scan in a few pictures I have from Japan and share here. Love it!
As for other things, sitemeter is down for sm1 which is where my counter is hosted from. I didn't realize that until today when I was scrounging around the net. Doh.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Joy
No matter what....
Over the last month or so since we've moved, I've been going through pictures from the past. As I look at these pictures, with very few exceptions, I look absolutely miserable. I mean, really miserable.
And yesterday, I was talking to a friend and said "you know, looking at all these pictures, I don't think I was ever happy." The few that I look happy in I'm playing with Chaz or Breezy, an occasional one with my ex but other than those, I'm miserable. Oh wait, then there's the happy drunk pictures or nearly drunk pictures.
And lately, as I've posted previously, I feel more joyful. And while I'm not necessarily happy, I am content, and I do have joy. When things are going all askew, I may be be sad, but at the same time, there is something in me that is still singing.
I told a friend at school that I sing because I have to. No matter how bad it is, I know that there is Someone bigger than me who has it in His hands. And while I can't see the big picture, He can. I have to chose to sing.
In October 2004, Pastor preached a sermon called "Joy No Matter What" the Wednesday before Hurricane Ivan. And then did a series on it after Ivan. It was good. Very good.
Today, Pastor Josh preached a sermon called "Happiness Theology." As he preached, the song "Joy down in my heart" came to mind. You remember, you sang it as a kid and probably forgot like I did.
I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart.
Where? Down in my heart!
Where? Down in my heart!
I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart,
down in my heart
down in my heart to stay.
And if the Devil doesn't like it he can sit on a tack.
OUCH
Sit on a tack.
OUCH
Sit on a tack.
And if the Devil doesn't like it he can sit on a tack
Sit on a tack today.
Anyway, I'm grateful for where God has taken me and how He has changed my life.
Over the last month or so since we've moved, I've been going through pictures from the past. As I look at these pictures, with very few exceptions, I look absolutely miserable. I mean, really miserable.
And yesterday, I was talking to a friend and said "you know, looking at all these pictures, I don't think I was ever happy." The few that I look happy in I'm playing with Chaz or Breezy, an occasional one with my ex but other than those, I'm miserable. Oh wait, then there's the happy drunk pictures or nearly drunk pictures.
And lately, as I've posted previously, I feel more joyful. And while I'm not necessarily happy, I am content, and I do have joy. When things are going all askew, I may be be sad, but at the same time, there is something in me that is still singing.
I told a friend at school that I sing because I have to. No matter how bad it is, I know that there is Someone bigger than me who has it in His hands. And while I can't see the big picture, He can. I have to chose to sing.
In October 2004, Pastor preached a sermon called "Joy No Matter What" the Wednesday before Hurricane Ivan. And then did a series on it after Ivan. It was good. Very good.
Today, Pastor Josh preached a sermon called "Happiness Theology." As he preached, the song "Joy down in my heart" came to mind. You remember, you sang it as a kid and probably forgot like I did.
Where? Down in my heart!
Where? Down in my heart!
I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart,
down in my heart
down in my heart to stay.
And if the Devil doesn't like it he can sit on a tack.
OUCH
Sit on a tack.
OUCH
Sit on a tack.
And if the Devil doesn't like it he can sit on a tack
Sit on a tack today.
Anyway, I'm grateful for where God has taken me and how He has changed my life.
Friday, March 09, 2007
this morning...
I was thinking "how cool it is that God is in the small things?" I just can't get over the fish thing. God cared enough about Breezy's fish that He had a friend pick up two and "just happen" to have them in her car for 3 hours. If He cares that much about Breezy's fish, how much more does He care about me, Breezy, Chaz, and you?
Work was good today. My nurse made a run to the school warehouse several days ago to pick out a bigger desk, bookcase, chair, and storage cabinet for our offices. It was delivered this morning. The man who delivered it was really nice. Before he left, we offered him a cup of coffee that he took us up on. Sometimes, it's just nice to let someone know they are appreciated and he did a really good job hauling all that furniture in by himself (even with a dolly).
The kids are in the gym at church practicing to be a band. They have a name. They have talent. And they want to serve. Good enough. They finally get to practice together with real gear. Cool beans.
Me? I'm going to run by the house, check the mail and go have a cup of java. Yummy.
Other thoughts...
Yesterday, I ran by Walmart and talked to the guy who does glasses. When he saw the different strengths of the lenses, he suggested a contact for my left eye to correct for distance, then a pair of glasses to correct for near. That way there wouldn't be so much disparity between the eyes. I think the thing that has had me most aggravated about my current glasses is fact I can't really read out of the left eye. My eyes don't work together. My right eye is dominant although it is the lazy eye. When I get tired of reading with my right eye, I can cross my right eye and read with my left eye. Except that the script isn't to a point where I can focus on the words. So... When I get my eyes reexamined, he suggested the eye doctor where he worked at as she's pretty patient at getting the scripts right. Now to find out if Tricare will cover it.
That's all for now. Hopefully, when I get home, my ceiling fan will be installed so I can look at the really cool blades! LOL That will also mean I have better light in the living room so I can rubber stamp too!
Work was good today. My nurse made a run to the school warehouse several days ago to pick out a bigger desk, bookcase, chair, and storage cabinet for our offices. It was delivered this morning. The man who delivered it was really nice. Before he left, we offered him a cup of coffee that he took us up on. Sometimes, it's just nice to let someone know they are appreciated and he did a really good job hauling all that furniture in by himself (even with a dolly).
The kids are in the gym at church practicing to be a band. They have a name. They have talent. And they want to serve. Good enough. They finally get to practice together with real gear. Cool beans.
Me? I'm going to run by the house, check the mail and go have a cup of java. Yummy.
Other thoughts...
Yesterday, I ran by Walmart and talked to the guy who does glasses. When he saw the different strengths of the lenses, he suggested a contact for my left eye to correct for distance, then a pair of glasses to correct for near. That way there wouldn't be so much disparity between the eyes. I think the thing that has had me most aggravated about my current glasses is fact I can't really read out of the left eye. My eyes don't work together. My right eye is dominant although it is the lazy eye. When I get tired of reading with my right eye, I can cross my right eye and read with my left eye. Except that the script isn't to a point where I can focus on the words. So... When I get my eyes reexamined, he suggested the eye doctor where he worked at as she's pretty patient at getting the scripts right. Now to find out if Tricare will cover it.
That's all for now. Hopefully, when I get home, my ceiling fan will be installed so I can look at the really cool blades! LOL That will also mean I have better light in the living room so I can rubber stamp too!
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Ever feel like your head isn't screwed on tight?
I've been rather fuzzy-brained lately. Hard to focus. Hard to pay attention. It started about three weeks ago or so.
I can talk to people on the telephone and have no idea what was said when I hang it up. Look straight at someone talking to them and forget what I was going to say as well.
It's been crazy.
I'm still having trouble with my eyes. A friend from my Alpha class does eyeglasses and said he'd take a look at my prescription. He did that today. Recommended that I get a contact for the left eye when I get my new prescription (old one is over a year old). Then when my glasses are made there isn't so much difference between the right eye and the left eye.
I am cross-eyed. The strange part is my lazy eye is my domanent (sp?) eye. At one time I was 20/10 in it. No longer. I have to hold whatever I'm reading at an arm's length to get focused. Makes reading a book rather difficult.
And... for the first time in 7 years, no child support came in this month. It wasn't much to start with but believe me when I say we needed it. I called to speak to him and he wasn't home. So I called the place where he was and let the kids talk to him. No, I didn't ask to speak to him. I'm not particularly sure at this point what I need to say or better yet, what I shouldn't say.
One really cool thing for this past weekend. A friend joined us for lunch on Sunday. She was checking out the dresser I had gotten for Breezy the day before when she saw her fish tank. She asked where the fish were and I told her that I hadn't gotten them for her yet because the tank had only been set up the day before. She asked if Breezy would like goldfish. I said I don't know but whatever she gets has to be small. So she called Breezy and asked. My friend walked out to her car and brought in two goldfish the perfect size for the tank. She had bought them for her tank at home and decided Breezy needed them more. Now how cool is that?
So anyway, here is what I'm doing in my free time. (Gotta love the digital camera!)
The image on the front of the card is a bella. They are just too cute!
I love the reflection off of my clear tablecloth on the bottom of this. It just seems to add an etheral feel to the card. (Yeah, I'm strange.)
These are the fan blades that will soon be on my ceiling fan in the living room. All hand stamped and the background was colored with stamping ink as well.
Last but not least, this is the picture I get in my head when I hear the song "Who am I" by Casting Crowns. Love the song. This is about 15" x 10" in size. Handmade papers, wire. I cut the flowers out freehand. The wires are twisted to form the wind.
Gotta go feed the kids. Soccer practice is over for the night. Later.
I've been rather fuzzy-brained lately. Hard to focus. Hard to pay attention. It started about three weeks ago or so.
I can talk to people on the telephone and have no idea what was said when I hang it up. Look straight at someone talking to them and forget what I was going to say as well.
It's been crazy.
I'm still having trouble with my eyes. A friend from my Alpha class does eyeglasses and said he'd take a look at my prescription. He did that today. Recommended that I get a contact for the left eye when I get my new prescription (old one is over a year old). Then when my glasses are made there isn't so much difference between the right eye and the left eye.
I am cross-eyed. The strange part is my lazy eye is my domanent (sp?) eye. At one time I was 20/10 in it. No longer. I have to hold whatever I'm reading at an arm's length to get focused. Makes reading a book rather difficult.
And... for the first time in 7 years, no child support came in this month. It wasn't much to start with but believe me when I say we needed it. I called to speak to him and he wasn't home. So I called the place where he was and let the kids talk to him. No, I didn't ask to speak to him. I'm not particularly sure at this point what I need to say or better yet, what I shouldn't say.
One really cool thing for this past weekend. A friend joined us for lunch on Sunday. She was checking out the dresser I had gotten for Breezy the day before when she saw her fish tank. She asked where the fish were and I told her that I hadn't gotten them for her yet because the tank had only been set up the day before. She asked if Breezy would like goldfish. I said I don't know but whatever she gets has to be small. So she called Breezy and asked. My friend walked out to her car and brought in two goldfish the perfect size for the tank. She had bought them for her tank at home and decided Breezy needed them more. Now how cool is that?
So anyway, here is what I'm doing in my free time. (Gotta love the digital camera!)
The image on the front of the card is a bella. They are just too cute!
I love the reflection off of my clear tablecloth on the bottom of this. It just seems to add an etheral feel to the card. (Yeah, I'm strange.)
These are the fan blades that will soon be on my ceiling fan in the living room. All hand stamped and the background was colored with stamping ink as well.
Last but not least, this is the picture I get in my head when I hear the song "Who am I" by Casting Crowns. Love the song. This is about 15" x 10" in size. Handmade papers, wire. I cut the flowers out freehand. The wires are twisted to form the wind.
Gotta go feed the kids. Soccer practice is over for the night. Later.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
cars & toothpaste
It's been a week. A very long week.
Monday, my eyes hurt so bad it felt like my eyeballs were going to explode.
Wednesday seemed like the longest day on earth.
Thursday night as I was headed to Walmart, I saw a white 'vette while I was waiting in the turn lane at a light. As the couple went through the light, the 'vette died. I waited for the light, pulled a u-turn to go back and see if I could help. They said no, they were out to test drive it when it died. All I wanted to do was cry and I have no idea why.
Friday, a dear man who goes to our church lost his battle with cancer. He battled so long and so hard. Our athletic field is named after him. His service and burial are tomorrow.
Saturday, my van was nearly repossessed. I was behind on payments and I reacted the way I normally do. If I don't know what to say or do, I do nothing. It came to a head Saturday morning. We cleaned the van completely out because I didn't think I'd have it when I got back from the place I bought it. The gentleman was really nice and I told him that I didn't call because I had no idea what to say or do. I gave him nearly everything I had left in my account and I'll go see him the next three paydays and finish paying it off. All the way there I prayed. I called a friend to have her pray as well. Nothing but the grace of God and the mercy of the owner. Thank you Lord!
Today, I came back into the bookstore and there was a tube of toothpaste (new) sitting on my counter. I remember thinking "I brush my teeth and I'm watching the words I speak, surely this must be someone else's?" Right before I left, a lady came in and said God had told her a while back to give it to me. She said she finally got around to it. As I left today, I was praying God, what is this?
A little while ago, my brother Keith came in and we were talking. I told him about the car, my eyes, the toothpaste. He said "you're being squeezed. What's coming out?" He went on..."How am I reacting to the things that God is pulling out of me? Things like the payment on the van? The head in the sand attitude that isn't helping?" And then he asked who was praying over me. No one that I know specifically. I call occasionally to Andrea or Nancy to pray but no one that I know consistently. Before he left to go to his class, he prayed over me. And all I wanted to do was cry. Still do.
Monday, my eyes hurt so bad it felt like my eyeballs were going to explode.
Wednesday seemed like the longest day on earth.
Thursday night as I was headed to Walmart, I saw a white 'vette while I was waiting in the turn lane at a light. As the couple went through the light, the 'vette died. I waited for the light, pulled a u-turn to go back and see if I could help. They said no, they were out to test drive it when it died. All I wanted to do was cry and I have no idea why.
Friday, a dear man who goes to our church lost his battle with cancer. He battled so long and so hard. Our athletic field is named after him. His service and burial are tomorrow.
Saturday, my van was nearly repossessed. I was behind on payments and I reacted the way I normally do. If I don't know what to say or do, I do nothing. It came to a head Saturday morning. We cleaned the van completely out because I didn't think I'd have it when I got back from the place I bought it. The gentleman was really nice and I told him that I didn't call because I had no idea what to say or do. I gave him nearly everything I had left in my account and I'll go see him the next three paydays and finish paying it off. All the way there I prayed. I called a friend to have her pray as well. Nothing but the grace of God and the mercy of the owner. Thank you Lord!
Today, I came back into the bookstore and there was a tube of toothpaste (new) sitting on my counter. I remember thinking "I brush my teeth and I'm watching the words I speak, surely this must be someone else's?" Right before I left, a lady came in and said God had told her a while back to give it to me. She said she finally got around to it. As I left today, I was praying God, what is this?
A little while ago, my brother Keith came in and we were talking. I told him about the car, my eyes, the toothpaste. He said "you're being squeezed. What's coming out?" He went on..."How am I reacting to the things that God is pulling out of me? Things like the payment on the van? The head in the sand attitude that isn't helping?" And then he asked who was praying over me. No one that I know specifically. I call occasionally to Andrea or Nancy to pray but no one that I know consistently. Before he left to go to his class, he prayed over me. And all I wanted to do was cry. Still do.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Squirrels and birds...
This morning when I went out to throw birdseed for the birds, I encountered a little squirrel enjoying the remnants of yesterday's birdie breakfast.
Now I'm trying to decide if I want to feed the little birds and the lil squirrels. I need to look up and find out how to feed the squirrels without them becoming a nuisance. I'm considering buying corn and making a little holder with nails to put the corn cobs on.
As for bellas, I'm still waiting on Flowahbella and SistahoodBellas to arrive. The cards on SCS are just too cute and the thread in the forums about bellas just keeps getting longer and longer. I've been reading it on and off for three days and still haven't gotten to the end of it. What's up with that? LOL
Oh yeah... I totally missed making a post this weekend. My sister and her husband came down on Saturday to visit their son who is stationed at Corry and stayed with the kids and I until Monday evening. This is the first time she's come down for more than an hour visit since 2001. Normally, we meet at my other sister's house in lower Alabama. That sister also came to visit on Sunday and Monday (she went home on Sunday night). We played cards and sat around and talked. I took 2 ½ hours off on Monday, checked the kids out of school early and joined them in their wanderings.
I can't wait for worship this evening. I've been listening to Matt and Gabe from the last Night of Worship. It's good. Very good. Now if only I could figure out why it errors out at the end rather than repeating the entire cd I'll be set!
And do you ever feel like you've frightened someone? I think I freaked out my friend in Jax. I think he thinks I'm rather weird about God. You know, God has changed my life. Totally. My mouth has been cleaned up, my taste in music has changed (I can't believe I listened to some of the music I used to listen to in the 80's!), I'm more encouraging to those around me and a lot less negative, definitely a lot less depressed! (Read H E A L E D!!!)
Anyway... I'm off for now. I'll have to get in this blog soon and add a couple pics from the actually blogger page and add my tags as well. Later.
This morning when I went out to throw birdseed for the birds, I encountered a little squirrel enjoying the remnants of yesterday's birdie breakfast.
Now I'm trying to decide if I want to feed the little birds and the lil squirrels. I need to look up and find out how to feed the squirrels without them becoming a nuisance. I'm considering buying corn and making a little holder with nails to put the corn cobs on.
As for bellas, I'm still waiting on Flowahbella and SistahoodBellas to arrive. The cards on SCS are just too cute and the thread in the forums about bellas just keeps getting longer and longer. I've been reading it on and off for three days and still haven't gotten to the end of it. What's up with that? LOL
Oh yeah... I totally missed making a post this weekend. My sister and her husband came down on Saturday to visit their son who is stationed at Corry and stayed with the kids and I until Monday evening. This is the first time she's come down for more than an hour visit since 2001. Normally, we meet at my other sister's house in lower Alabama. That sister also came to visit on Sunday and Monday (she went home on Sunday night). We played cards and sat around and talked. I took 2 ½ hours off on Monday, checked the kids out of school early and joined them in their wanderings.
I can't wait for worship this evening. I've been listening to Matt and Gabe from the last Night of Worship. It's good. Very good. Now if only I could figure out why it errors out at the end rather than repeating the entire cd I'll be set!
And do you ever feel like you've frightened someone? I think I freaked out my friend in Jax. I think he thinks I'm rather weird about God. You know, God has changed my life. Totally. My mouth has been cleaned up, my taste in music has changed (I can't believe I listened to some of the music I used to listen to in the 80's!), I'm more encouraging to those around me and a lot less negative, definitely a lot less depressed! (Read H E A L E D!!!)
Anyway... I'm off for now. I'll have to get in this blog soon and add a couple pics from the actually blogger page and add my tags as well. Later.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Easter Egging....
I first heard the term in 1982 used in reference to trouble shooting R-390's. R-390's had electron tubes and when trouble shooting, people would often just get a handful of the appropriate tubes and swap them out one at a time. If it didn't work after swapping out tube "A" replace the original tube "A" and try replacing tube "B" and so on until you find the tube that needed replaced.
This is how I feel a lot of people go about in their dating. When you get tired of "A" or have a disagreement that you don't think is worth resolving, let's give "B" a try. If "B" doesn't work out, let's see how we get along with "C."
And so, we go through our lives looking for the "perfect" fit. Our divorce rates are at the highest ever because it's so easy to divorce and not try, to give up, to find someone new.
In case you wonder, I speak from experience...
In Feb 1982 at 18, I married Steve. Against my Daddy's wishes and with little knowledge of what a marriage required. We knew each other less than 3 months. After nearly a month together on leave (vacation in the military), I moved to Pensacola and he remained in Orlando. We rarely saw each other. After a while, I wanted to have someone around and I'm pretty sure he wanted the same. I began dating in Pensacola and I fairly certain he did the same in Orlando. In August of the same year, my Daddy filed the divorce papers for me. The divorce became final in February 83.
I continued to date until I met Mike in early 85. We married in May 85 and transferred to Guam where he was assigned to a ship and I to shore duty. He spent a great deal of time at sea. Enough time that on his visit to Australia he met a woman there. As for how I know, letters and hotel bills are not things you should bring home with you if you want to stay married. I felt like I had been given a get out of jail free card. I told him I wanted a divorce and we separated. I started dating again. The divorce was final in January 87.
In June 88, I met the kid's dad. We lived together for almost 2 years before we married in May 90. In December 90, I transferred to Japan. He followed in February 91.
Most of the time, it was good. As long as we were drinking and partying, playing games (cribbage, cards, yahtzee), things were good. We did have a lot of good times together. It wasn't all bad.
But when conflict came along, I clammed up. I'm a fight or flight kind of person. Passive aggressive in the long run. For the most part, I would hold my anger. I'll hold it until weeks or even months later, it all came boiling out. By that time, it was never pretty.
Marriages need to be built on trust, friendship, love, having something in common. When they are built on drinking, having fun, sex, etc, they tend to fall apart after a while if nothing else ever comes into the picture.
Time spent together helps build relationships. Ours? In the first 8 years of marriage, he spent three-quarters of it at sea. How we ever managed to have children is beyond me sometimes. He'd come back from sea and we'd have to start all over again it seemed. Me to get used to him being home again and not being "in charge" and "mom and dad." Him back to "responsibility" of husband and father again. It was as hard for me to let go as for him to take up the reins again.
After a while, it got old. He'd be drinking, whether to forget or to party, it was all the same by then. Me? I'd find a book, party, spend money. The spending money part always added to the fray.
Letting go and allowing someone else to help wasn't an option. I didn't know how and I don't think he did either. Counseling didn't help. You have to be willing to admit there was a problem in the first place. I knew there was a problem, I just couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
We moved to England in June of 99. For the first time in my life I felt isolated. No friends, no transportation, two children at home who I had no idea of what to do with. I felt I was losing myself to the insanity. I slipped into depression and then bi-polar/manic depression.
I thought I could hold it together. I tried to hold it together. You can't do it by yourself. And slowly, it finished slipping away.
I gave up. I told him I wanted to leave. I told him I was taking the children with me. And we left. February 27th, 2000, the kids and I got on a plane back to the states.
I didn't look back. I was through. There had to be more than what I was living.
I can't say that it's been better all the time. In fact, things were hard a lot of the time. Things were different and strange. The divorce was final in December 2004. Just the kids and I.
As I let God come in, He has changed me, transformed me, taken me to a place I didn't know I had in me. I no longer have to be dating someone or married to someone to be complete. He is my provider. He is my strength. He has been my comfort. He brought us to a place where we are loved for who we are, not for what we can do for someone else.
He is taking me, us to a new place. And one day, He will send the right man, to be a husband, a father. Not necessarily when I feel the time is right but when He says it's right. Until that time, we are ok and that's good enough for me.
I'm through easter egging.
Edited: I attempted to email this post yesterday but it did not show up. I'm adding it with the appropriate time on it.
I first heard the term in 1982 used in reference to trouble shooting R-390's. R-390's had electron tubes and when trouble shooting, people would often just get a handful of the appropriate tubes and swap them out one at a time. If it didn't work after swapping out tube "A" replace the original tube "A" and try replacing tube "B" and so on until you find the tube that needed replaced.
This is how I feel a lot of people go about in their dating. When you get tired of "A" or have a disagreement that you don't think is worth resolving, let's give "B" a try. If "B" doesn't work out, let's see how we get along with "C."
And so, we go through our lives looking for the "perfect" fit. Our divorce rates are at the highest ever because it's so easy to divorce and not try, to give up, to find someone new.
In case you wonder, I speak from experience...
In Feb 1982 at 18, I married Steve. Against my Daddy's wishes and with little knowledge of what a marriage required. We knew each other less than 3 months. After nearly a month together on leave (vacation in the military), I moved to Pensacola and he remained in Orlando. We rarely saw each other. After a while, I wanted to have someone around and I'm pretty sure he wanted the same. I began dating in Pensacola and I fairly certain he did the same in Orlando. In August of the same year, my Daddy filed the divorce papers for me. The divorce became final in February 83.
I continued to date until I met Mike in early 85. We married in May 85 and transferred to Guam where he was assigned to a ship and I to shore duty. He spent a great deal of time at sea. Enough time that on his visit to Australia he met a woman there. As for how I know, letters and hotel bills are not things you should bring home with you if you want to stay married. I felt like I had been given a get out of jail free card. I told him I wanted a divorce and we separated. I started dating again. The divorce was final in January 87.
In June 88, I met the kid's dad. We lived together for almost 2 years before we married in May 90. In December 90, I transferred to Japan. He followed in February 91.
Most of the time, it was good. As long as we were drinking and partying, playing games (cribbage, cards, yahtzee), things were good. We did have a lot of good times together. It wasn't all bad.
But when conflict came along, I clammed up. I'm a fight or flight kind of person. Passive aggressive in the long run. For the most part, I would hold my anger. I'll hold it until weeks or even months later, it all came boiling out. By that time, it was never pretty.
Marriages need to be built on trust, friendship, love, having something in common. When they are built on drinking, having fun, sex, etc, they tend to fall apart after a while if nothing else ever comes into the picture.
Time spent together helps build relationships. Ours? In the first 8 years of marriage, he spent three-quarters of it at sea. How we ever managed to have children is beyond me sometimes. He'd come back from sea and we'd have to start all over again it seemed. Me to get used to him being home again and not being "in charge" and "mom and dad." Him back to "responsibility" of husband and father again. It was as hard for me to let go as for him to take up the reins again.
After a while, it got old. He'd be drinking, whether to forget or to party, it was all the same by then. Me? I'd find a book, party, spend money. The spending money part always added to the fray.
Letting go and allowing someone else to help wasn't an option. I didn't know how and I don't think he did either. Counseling didn't help. You have to be willing to admit there was a problem in the first place. I knew there was a problem, I just couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
We moved to England in June of 99. For the first time in my life I felt isolated. No friends, no transportation, two children at home who I had no idea of what to do with. I felt I was losing myself to the insanity. I slipped into depression and then bi-polar/manic depression.
I thought I could hold it together. I tried to hold it together. You can't do it by yourself. And slowly, it finished slipping away.
I gave up. I told him I wanted to leave. I told him I was taking the children with me. And we left. February 27th, 2000, the kids and I got on a plane back to the states.
I didn't look back. I was through. There had to be more than what I was living.
I can't say that it's been better all the time. In fact, things were hard a lot of the time. Things were different and strange. The divorce was final in December 2004. Just the kids and I.
As I let God come in, He has changed me, transformed me, taken me to a place I didn't know I had in me. I no longer have to be dating someone or married to someone to be complete. He is my provider. He is my strength. He has been my comfort. He brought us to a place where we are loved for who we are, not for what we can do for someone else.
He is taking me, us to a new place. And one day, He will send the right man, to be a husband, a father. Not necessarily when I feel the time is right but when He says it's right. Until that time, we are ok and that's good enough for me.
I'm through easter egging.
Edited: I attempted to email this post yesterday but it did not show up. I'm adding it with the appropriate time on it.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Monday, February 12, 2007
VOICE RESPONSE SYSTEM NIGHTMARE!!!
VOICE RESPONSE SYSTEM NIGHTMARE!!!
I again attempted to contact Gulf Power concerning my bill. I have been transferred into voice response system hell.
My email to Gulf Power:
"I do not have a current account number as I was transferring my account during the month of January and it was not completed due to MY failure to bring in a copy of the lease.
However when I called today and attempted to get in contact with someone, I had to use your NEW voice response system.
Since I did not have an account number, it wants me to IN PUBLIC give my social security number.
THIS IS WRONG!!!"
This aggravates me to no end. I now need to drive to the office to take care of the paperwork in hopes that my power is still on and I won't be charged a service fee to reinstate service. I truly forgot to take in a copy of the lease and my landlord gave me a copy yesterday.
It's pretty bad when I'd rather have to go through the menu option and press buttons to get to speak to someone. *sigh*
Onto other things....
Our washer and dryer works wonderfully. Getting clothes dried the first time through is a novel approach to laundry! LOL
My tax refund came in. Chaz bought a Nintendo Wii. Breezy got a digital camera. Both are the bomdiggity! I liked Breezy's so much, I bought the same camera.
Chaz and Breezy went to WinterJam on Saturday. They had a blast. Breezy took tons of pictures. She got great pictures of the lead singer of Hawk Nelson who she thinks is the best.
I, on the other hand, chose to stay home this year. My intent was to visit the local flea markets/thrift stores to see what I could find. After the first one though, I decided I needed a haircut. Made a quick call to the lady who usually cuts my hair and she could get me in.
By the time I left, I had a new hair cut and hair color! She mixed the loveliest shade of golden/red. It's gorgeous! I feel like a new person when I look in the mirror! I may have to take a pic and let ya see too.
Saturday night was the singles get together. We played Apples to Apples. What a great game. It's meant for up to 10 players, but we played with 21. We made teams of 2 (and one team of 3) to play. The interaction was amazing. Best get together in forever for us.
I also volunteered to host a movie night sometime in the next month or so.
Anyway, nuff for now.
Friday, February 02, 2007
tws, stuff..
TWS is the bom-diggity. I have managed to catch up with people I thought long lost. Way long lost. The oldest recontact has been with someone I hung out with in 1982. The most recent was someone I was stationed with right before I retired. And then there are the ones in between.
You know those ones. Well, maybe you don't. In my case, it's the one I dated in 84 then split with, we both married other people and transferred to the same place. We both divorced and dated again. We split again and transferred to different places. Only to discover in 90, that we were getting married on the same day at the same time (different time zones) to other people. And while my marriage has fallen apart, his is still going well. Amazing huh?
I've caught back up with YW who was one of the only Christians I knew the entire time I was in the military. I can count "those people" on one hand that I was consciously aware of. But those few people were all at my last command and their behavior and actions spoke volumes. Volumes.
I also realized over the last few weeks how God has protected me from my own stupidity quite often. The things I've flirted with in my life, alcoholism, relationships, the occult. Duh!
I'm grateful for the redeeming grace! Yah!
You know those ones. Well, maybe you don't. In my case, it's the one I dated in 84 then split with, we both married other people and transferred to the same place. We both divorced and dated again. We split again and transferred to different places. Only to discover in 90, that we were getting married on the same day at the same time (different time zones) to other people. And while my marriage has fallen apart, his is still going well. Amazing huh?
I've caught back up with YW who was one of the only Christians I knew the entire time I was in the military. I can count "those people" on one hand that I was consciously aware of. But those few people were all at my last command and their behavior and actions spoke volumes. Volumes.
I also realized over the last few weeks how God has protected me from my own stupidity quite often. The things I've flirted with in my life, alcoholism, relationships, the occult. Duh!
I'm grateful for the redeeming grace! Yah!
Friday, January 19, 2007
God, I don't understand...
I don't understand why good people who serve you faithfully are eatten up with cancer. I don't understand why teenagers are eatten up with cancer.
I know You say in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 (NIV)
But God, I don't get it. I don't see what good there is in babies losing their mom or moms losing their babies.
God help me to understand or at least to have peace. Help me to give comfort to others during this time.
I know You say in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 (NIV)
But God, I don't get it. I don't see what good there is in babies losing their mom or moms losing their babies.
God help me to understand or at least to have peace. Help me to give comfort to others during this time.
crafting...
crafting...
This is the easy entry. I have another post to make that is much deeper and so wanted to do them separately.
Last Saturday, a couple friends and I went to Joanns. I have a gift card that one of them gave me that was burning a hole in my pocket. I figured paper is sale so I could get some more. (Like I needed it? Right?)
Anyway, while I was there, I was wandering the stamp pad aisle and came upon a salesperson and a lady who was trying to find an "embossing buddy." The salesperson didn't know what it was but I did. I explained to them that several companies carried different versions of it and what it was used for. Also that Hobby Lobby (HL) might carry one.
After the salesperson excused herself, I stood and talked with the lady for about 10 minutes or so. She was also looking for an embossing pad. I recommended a different type than what she had and told her that she could probably check HL for that one as well. She asked if I would mind if she called me some time about stamping and maybe we could get together. I told her yes and gave her my number and she gave me hers. I also said maybe I'll see you at HL as well because we were headed there next.
It was nearly an hour before we got to HL. I was wandering through the paint section when she came up and asked me if I would help her with the ink. I pointed out a VersaMark pad which is what I use for embossing and watermark type stamping. (They were on sale! Yah!)
Anyway, I talked to her for a bit more and said goodbye and finished my shopping.
Note to self: I managed to make it through 2 craft stores and spent less than 10 bucks. Now how strange is that but exciting at the same time to exercise that much restraint. *s*
I called my new friend on Tuesday to see how things went with her embossing. She said she had some trouble. I told her that maybe we could get together in a couple weeks maybe we could get together.
Tuesday, I recieved an invite to a new military web site called TogetherWeServed. Absolutely the best. Ever. In less than 24 hours, I located people who I have wondered about for years. The members names are sorted alphabetically or you can search just through your rating, by NEC or duty station. There are forums and messaging available. The traffic is high it appears because the site is having a bit of difficulty keeping up this morning. But as soon as I can afford it, I'm sending them a donation. Best thing I've found for finding people in the military yet. Yah!
Monday, January 08, 2007
My mom is out of surgery. She has about a 6" incision along her right shoulder. The doctor says she did well and she should be able to move her arm a little very soon. It took a plate and 4 screws to fix it.
When I walked in the room after she got out of recovery, she looked so bad. It scared me pretty bad. In fact, I'm pretty sure that she looked better after the heart attack and having a pacemaker put in!
Anyway, I am so grateful that she made it out of the surgery ok. She will stay overnight at the medical center and go home tomorrow. She'll be out of work for 6 weeks and then have to do physical therapy for a while.
Lord, thank you for my Mom and thank you for keeping her safe.
When I walked in the room after she got out of recovery, she looked so bad. It scared me pretty bad. In fact, I'm pretty sure that she looked better after the heart attack and having a pacemaker put in!
Anyway, I am so grateful that she made it out of the surgery ok. She will stay overnight at the medical center and go home tomorrow. She'll be out of work for 6 weeks and then have to do physical therapy for a while.
Lord, thank you for my Mom and thank you for keeping her safe.
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