It's been a week. A very long week.
Monday, my eyes hurt so bad it felt like my eyeballs were going to explode.
Wednesday seemed like the longest day on earth.
Thursday night as I was headed to Walmart, I saw a white 'vette while I was waiting in the turn lane at a light. As the couple went through the light, the 'vette died. I waited for the light, pulled a u-turn to go back and see if I could help. They said no, they were out to test drive it when it died. All I wanted to do was cry and I have no idea why.
Friday, a dear man who goes to our church lost his battle with cancer. He battled so long and so hard. Our athletic field is named after him. His service and burial are tomorrow.
Saturday, my van was nearly repossessed. I was behind on payments and I reacted the way I normally do. If I don't know what to say or do, I do nothing. It came to a head Saturday morning. We cleaned the van completely out because I didn't think I'd have it when I got back from the place I bought it. The gentleman was really nice and I told him that I didn't call because I had no idea what to say or do. I gave him nearly everything I had left in my account and I'll go see him the next three paydays and finish paying it off. All the way there I prayed. I called a friend to have her pray as well. Nothing but the grace of God and the mercy of the owner. Thank you Lord!
Today, I came back into the bookstore and there was a tube of toothpaste (new) sitting on my counter. I remember thinking "I brush my teeth and I'm watching the words I speak, surely this must be someone else's?" Right before I left, a lady came in and said God had told her a while back to give it to me. She said she finally got around to it. As I left today, I was praying God, what is this?
A little while ago, my brother Keith came in and we were talking. I told him about the car, my eyes, the toothpaste. He said "you're being squeezed. What's coming out?" He went on..."How am I reacting to the things that God is pulling out of me? Things like the payment on the van? The head in the sand attitude that isn't helping?" And then he asked who was praying over me. No one that I know specifically. I call occasionally to Andrea or Nancy to pray but no one that I know consistently. Before he left to go to his class, he prayed over me. And all I wanted to do was cry. Still do.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Squirrels and birds...
This morning when I went out to throw birdseed for the birds, I encountered a little squirrel enjoying the remnants of yesterday's birdie breakfast.
Now I'm trying to decide if I want to feed the little birds and the lil squirrels. I need to look up and find out how to feed the squirrels without them becoming a nuisance. I'm considering buying corn and making a little holder with nails to put the corn cobs on.
As for bellas, I'm still waiting on Flowahbella and SistahoodBellas to arrive. The cards on SCS are just too cute and the thread in the forums about bellas just keeps getting longer and longer. I've been reading it on and off for three days and still haven't gotten to the end of it. What's up with that? LOL
Oh yeah... I totally missed making a post this weekend. My sister and her husband came down on Saturday to visit their son who is stationed at Corry and stayed with the kids and I until Monday evening. This is the first time she's come down for more than an hour visit since 2001. Normally, we meet at my other sister's house in lower Alabama. That sister also came to visit on Sunday and Monday (she went home on Sunday night). We played cards and sat around and talked. I took 2 ½ hours off on Monday, checked the kids out of school early and joined them in their wanderings.
I can't wait for worship this evening. I've been listening to Matt and Gabe from the last Night of Worship. It's good. Very good. Now if only I could figure out why it errors out at the end rather than repeating the entire cd I'll be set!
And do you ever feel like you've frightened someone? I think I freaked out my friend in Jax. I think he thinks I'm rather weird about God. You know, God has changed my life. Totally. My mouth has been cleaned up, my taste in music has changed (I can't believe I listened to some of the music I used to listen to in the 80's!), I'm more encouraging to those around me and a lot less negative, definitely a lot less depressed! (Read H E A L E D!!!)
Anyway... I'm off for now. I'll have to get in this blog soon and add a couple pics from the actually blogger page and add my tags as well. Later.
This morning when I went out to throw birdseed for the birds, I encountered a little squirrel enjoying the remnants of yesterday's birdie breakfast.
Now I'm trying to decide if I want to feed the little birds and the lil squirrels. I need to look up and find out how to feed the squirrels without them becoming a nuisance. I'm considering buying corn and making a little holder with nails to put the corn cobs on.
As for bellas, I'm still waiting on Flowahbella and SistahoodBellas to arrive. The cards on SCS are just too cute and the thread in the forums about bellas just keeps getting longer and longer. I've been reading it on and off for three days and still haven't gotten to the end of it. What's up with that? LOL
Oh yeah... I totally missed making a post this weekend. My sister and her husband came down on Saturday to visit their son who is stationed at Corry and stayed with the kids and I until Monday evening. This is the first time she's come down for more than an hour visit since 2001. Normally, we meet at my other sister's house in lower Alabama. That sister also came to visit on Sunday and Monday (she went home on Sunday night). We played cards and sat around and talked. I took 2 ½ hours off on Monday, checked the kids out of school early and joined them in their wanderings.
I can't wait for worship this evening. I've been listening to Matt and Gabe from the last Night of Worship. It's good. Very good. Now if only I could figure out why it errors out at the end rather than repeating the entire cd I'll be set!
And do you ever feel like you've frightened someone? I think I freaked out my friend in Jax. I think he thinks I'm rather weird about God. You know, God has changed my life. Totally. My mouth has been cleaned up, my taste in music has changed (I can't believe I listened to some of the music I used to listen to in the 80's!), I'm more encouraging to those around me and a lot less negative, definitely a lot less depressed! (Read H E A L E D!!!)
Anyway... I'm off for now. I'll have to get in this blog soon and add a couple pics from the actually blogger page and add my tags as well. Later.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Easter Egging....
I first heard the term in 1982 used in reference to trouble shooting R-390's. R-390's had electron tubes and when trouble shooting, people would often just get a handful of the appropriate tubes and swap them out one at a time. If it didn't work after swapping out tube "A" replace the original tube "A" and try replacing tube "B" and so on until you find the tube that needed replaced.
This is how I feel a lot of people go about in their dating. When you get tired of "A" or have a disagreement that you don't think is worth resolving, let's give "B" a try. If "B" doesn't work out, let's see how we get along with "C."
And so, we go through our lives looking for the "perfect" fit. Our divorce rates are at the highest ever because it's so easy to divorce and not try, to give up, to find someone new.
In case you wonder, I speak from experience...
In Feb 1982 at 18, I married Steve. Against my Daddy's wishes and with little knowledge of what a marriage required. We knew each other less than 3 months. After nearly a month together on leave (vacation in the military), I moved to Pensacola and he remained in Orlando. We rarely saw each other. After a while, I wanted to have someone around and I'm pretty sure he wanted the same. I began dating in Pensacola and I fairly certain he did the same in Orlando. In August of the same year, my Daddy filed the divorce papers for me. The divorce became final in February 83.
I continued to date until I met Mike in early 85. We married in May 85 and transferred to Guam where he was assigned to a ship and I to shore duty. He spent a great deal of time at sea. Enough time that on his visit to Australia he met a woman there. As for how I know, letters and hotel bills are not things you should bring home with you if you want to stay married. I felt like I had been given a get out of jail free card. I told him I wanted a divorce and we separated. I started dating again. The divorce was final in January 87.
In June 88, I met the kid's dad. We lived together for almost 2 years before we married in May 90. In December 90, I transferred to Japan. He followed in February 91.
Most of the time, it was good. As long as we were drinking and partying, playing games (cribbage, cards, yahtzee), things were good. We did have a lot of good times together. It wasn't all bad.
But when conflict came along, I clammed up. I'm a fight or flight kind of person. Passive aggressive in the long run. For the most part, I would hold my anger. I'll hold it until weeks or even months later, it all came boiling out. By that time, it was never pretty.
Marriages need to be built on trust, friendship, love, having something in common. When they are built on drinking, having fun, sex, etc, they tend to fall apart after a while if nothing else ever comes into the picture.
Time spent together helps build relationships. Ours? In the first 8 years of marriage, he spent three-quarters of it at sea. How we ever managed to have children is beyond me sometimes. He'd come back from sea and we'd have to start all over again it seemed. Me to get used to him being home again and not being "in charge" and "mom and dad." Him back to "responsibility" of husband and father again. It was as hard for me to let go as for him to take up the reins again.
After a while, it got old. He'd be drinking, whether to forget or to party, it was all the same by then. Me? I'd find a book, party, spend money. The spending money part always added to the fray.
Letting go and allowing someone else to help wasn't an option. I didn't know how and I don't think he did either. Counseling didn't help. You have to be willing to admit there was a problem in the first place. I knew there was a problem, I just couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
We moved to England in June of 99. For the first time in my life I felt isolated. No friends, no transportation, two children at home who I had no idea of what to do with. I felt I was losing myself to the insanity. I slipped into depression and then bi-polar/manic depression.
I thought I could hold it together. I tried to hold it together. You can't do it by yourself. And slowly, it finished slipping away.
I gave up. I told him I wanted to leave. I told him I was taking the children with me. And we left. February 27th, 2000, the kids and I got on a plane back to the states.
I didn't look back. I was through. There had to be more than what I was living.
I can't say that it's been better all the time. In fact, things were hard a lot of the time. Things were different and strange. The divorce was final in December 2004. Just the kids and I.
As I let God come in, He has changed me, transformed me, taken me to a place I didn't know I had in me. I no longer have to be dating someone or married to someone to be complete. He is my provider. He is my strength. He has been my comfort. He brought us to a place where we are loved for who we are, not for what we can do for someone else.
He is taking me, us to a new place. And one day, He will send the right man, to be a husband, a father. Not necessarily when I feel the time is right but when He says it's right. Until that time, we are ok and that's good enough for me.
I'm through easter egging.
Edited: I attempted to email this post yesterday but it did not show up. I'm adding it with the appropriate time on it.
I first heard the term in 1982 used in reference to trouble shooting R-390's. R-390's had electron tubes and when trouble shooting, people would often just get a handful of the appropriate tubes and swap them out one at a time. If it didn't work after swapping out tube "A" replace the original tube "A" and try replacing tube "B" and so on until you find the tube that needed replaced.
This is how I feel a lot of people go about in their dating. When you get tired of "A" or have a disagreement that you don't think is worth resolving, let's give "B" a try. If "B" doesn't work out, let's see how we get along with "C."
And so, we go through our lives looking for the "perfect" fit. Our divorce rates are at the highest ever because it's so easy to divorce and not try, to give up, to find someone new.
In case you wonder, I speak from experience...
In Feb 1982 at 18, I married Steve. Against my Daddy's wishes and with little knowledge of what a marriage required. We knew each other less than 3 months. After nearly a month together on leave (vacation in the military), I moved to Pensacola and he remained in Orlando. We rarely saw each other. After a while, I wanted to have someone around and I'm pretty sure he wanted the same. I began dating in Pensacola and I fairly certain he did the same in Orlando. In August of the same year, my Daddy filed the divorce papers for me. The divorce became final in February 83.
I continued to date until I met Mike in early 85. We married in May 85 and transferred to Guam where he was assigned to a ship and I to shore duty. He spent a great deal of time at sea. Enough time that on his visit to Australia he met a woman there. As for how I know, letters and hotel bills are not things you should bring home with you if you want to stay married. I felt like I had been given a get out of jail free card. I told him I wanted a divorce and we separated. I started dating again. The divorce was final in January 87.
In June 88, I met the kid's dad. We lived together for almost 2 years before we married in May 90. In December 90, I transferred to Japan. He followed in February 91.
Most of the time, it was good. As long as we were drinking and partying, playing games (cribbage, cards, yahtzee), things were good. We did have a lot of good times together. It wasn't all bad.
But when conflict came along, I clammed up. I'm a fight or flight kind of person. Passive aggressive in the long run. For the most part, I would hold my anger. I'll hold it until weeks or even months later, it all came boiling out. By that time, it was never pretty.
Marriages need to be built on trust, friendship, love, having something in common. When they are built on drinking, having fun, sex, etc, they tend to fall apart after a while if nothing else ever comes into the picture.
Time spent together helps build relationships. Ours? In the first 8 years of marriage, he spent three-quarters of it at sea. How we ever managed to have children is beyond me sometimes. He'd come back from sea and we'd have to start all over again it seemed. Me to get used to him being home again and not being "in charge" and "mom and dad." Him back to "responsibility" of husband and father again. It was as hard for me to let go as for him to take up the reins again.
After a while, it got old. He'd be drinking, whether to forget or to party, it was all the same by then. Me? I'd find a book, party, spend money. The spending money part always added to the fray.
Letting go and allowing someone else to help wasn't an option. I didn't know how and I don't think he did either. Counseling didn't help. You have to be willing to admit there was a problem in the first place. I knew there was a problem, I just couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
We moved to England in June of 99. For the first time in my life I felt isolated. No friends, no transportation, two children at home who I had no idea of what to do with. I felt I was losing myself to the insanity. I slipped into depression and then bi-polar/manic depression.
I thought I could hold it together. I tried to hold it together. You can't do it by yourself. And slowly, it finished slipping away.
I gave up. I told him I wanted to leave. I told him I was taking the children with me. And we left. February 27th, 2000, the kids and I got on a plane back to the states.
I didn't look back. I was through. There had to be more than what I was living.
I can't say that it's been better all the time. In fact, things were hard a lot of the time. Things were different and strange. The divorce was final in December 2004. Just the kids and I.
As I let God come in, He has changed me, transformed me, taken me to a place I didn't know I had in me. I no longer have to be dating someone or married to someone to be complete. He is my provider. He is my strength. He has been my comfort. He brought us to a place where we are loved for who we are, not for what we can do for someone else.
He is taking me, us to a new place. And one day, He will send the right man, to be a husband, a father. Not necessarily when I feel the time is right but when He says it's right. Until that time, we are ok and that's good enough for me.
I'm through easter egging.
Edited: I attempted to email this post yesterday but it did not show up. I'm adding it with the appropriate time on it.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Monday, February 12, 2007
VOICE RESPONSE SYSTEM NIGHTMARE!!!
VOICE RESPONSE SYSTEM NIGHTMARE!!!
I again attempted to contact Gulf Power concerning my bill. I have been transferred into voice response system hell.
My email to Gulf Power:
"I do not have a current account number as I was transferring my account during the month of January and it was not completed due to MY failure to bring in a copy of the lease.
However when I called today and attempted to get in contact with someone, I had to use your NEW voice response system.
Since I did not have an account number, it wants me to IN PUBLIC give my social security number.
THIS IS WRONG!!!"
This aggravates me to no end. I now need to drive to the office to take care of the paperwork in hopes that my power is still on and I won't be charged a service fee to reinstate service. I truly forgot to take in a copy of the lease and my landlord gave me a copy yesterday.
It's pretty bad when I'd rather have to go through the menu option and press buttons to get to speak to someone. *sigh*
Onto other things....
Our washer and dryer works wonderfully. Getting clothes dried the first time through is a novel approach to laundry! LOL
My tax refund came in. Chaz bought a Nintendo Wii. Breezy got a digital camera. Both are the bomdiggity! I liked Breezy's so much, I bought the same camera.
Chaz and Breezy went to WinterJam on Saturday. They had a blast. Breezy took tons of pictures. She got great pictures of the lead singer of Hawk Nelson who she thinks is the best.
I, on the other hand, chose to stay home this year. My intent was to visit the local flea markets/thrift stores to see what I could find. After the first one though, I decided I needed a haircut. Made a quick call to the lady who usually cuts my hair and she could get me in.
By the time I left, I had a new hair cut and hair color! She mixed the loveliest shade of golden/red. It's gorgeous! I feel like a new person when I look in the mirror! I may have to take a pic and let ya see too.
Saturday night was the singles get together. We played Apples to Apples. What a great game. It's meant for up to 10 players, but we played with 21. We made teams of 2 (and one team of 3) to play. The interaction was amazing. Best get together in forever for us.
I also volunteered to host a movie night sometime in the next month or so.
Anyway, nuff for now.
Friday, February 02, 2007
tws, stuff..
TWS is the bom-diggity. I have managed to catch up with people I thought long lost. Way long lost. The oldest recontact has been with someone I hung out with in 1982. The most recent was someone I was stationed with right before I retired. And then there are the ones in between.
You know those ones. Well, maybe you don't. In my case, it's the one I dated in 84 then split with, we both married other people and transferred to the same place. We both divorced and dated again. We split again and transferred to different places. Only to discover in 90, that we were getting married on the same day at the same time (different time zones) to other people. And while my marriage has fallen apart, his is still going well. Amazing huh?
I've caught back up with YW who was one of the only Christians I knew the entire time I was in the military. I can count "those people" on one hand that I was consciously aware of. But those few people were all at my last command and their behavior and actions spoke volumes. Volumes.
I also realized over the last few weeks how God has protected me from my own stupidity quite often. The things I've flirted with in my life, alcoholism, relationships, the occult. Duh!
I'm grateful for the redeeming grace! Yah!
You know those ones. Well, maybe you don't. In my case, it's the one I dated in 84 then split with, we both married other people and transferred to the same place. We both divorced and dated again. We split again and transferred to different places. Only to discover in 90, that we were getting married on the same day at the same time (different time zones) to other people. And while my marriage has fallen apart, his is still going well. Amazing huh?
I've caught back up with YW who was one of the only Christians I knew the entire time I was in the military. I can count "those people" on one hand that I was consciously aware of. But those few people were all at my last command and their behavior and actions spoke volumes. Volumes.
I also realized over the last few weeks how God has protected me from my own stupidity quite often. The things I've flirted with in my life, alcoholism, relationships, the occult. Duh!
I'm grateful for the redeeming grace! Yah!
Friday, January 19, 2007
God, I don't understand...
I don't understand why good people who serve you faithfully are eatten up with cancer. I don't understand why teenagers are eatten up with cancer.
I know You say in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 (NIV)
But God, I don't get it. I don't see what good there is in babies losing their mom or moms losing their babies.
God help me to understand or at least to have peace. Help me to give comfort to others during this time.
I know You say in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 (NIV)
But God, I don't get it. I don't see what good there is in babies losing their mom or moms losing their babies.
God help me to understand or at least to have peace. Help me to give comfort to others during this time.
crafting...
crafting...
This is the easy entry. I have another post to make that is much deeper and so wanted to do them separately.
Last Saturday, a couple friends and I went to Joanns. I have a gift card that one of them gave me that was burning a hole in my pocket. I figured paper is sale so I could get some more. (Like I needed it? Right?)
Anyway, while I was there, I was wandering the stamp pad aisle and came upon a salesperson and a lady who was trying to find an "embossing buddy." The salesperson didn't know what it was but I did. I explained to them that several companies carried different versions of it and what it was used for. Also that Hobby Lobby (HL) might carry one.
After the salesperson excused herself, I stood and talked with the lady for about 10 minutes or so. She was also looking for an embossing pad. I recommended a different type than what she had and told her that she could probably check HL for that one as well. She asked if I would mind if she called me some time about stamping and maybe we could get together. I told her yes and gave her my number and she gave me hers. I also said maybe I'll see you at HL as well because we were headed there next.
It was nearly an hour before we got to HL. I was wandering through the paint section when she came up and asked me if I would help her with the ink. I pointed out a VersaMark pad which is what I use for embossing and watermark type stamping. (They were on sale! Yah!)
Anyway, I talked to her for a bit more and said goodbye and finished my shopping.
Note to self: I managed to make it through 2 craft stores and spent less than 10 bucks. Now how strange is that but exciting at the same time to exercise that much restraint. *s*
I called my new friend on Tuesday to see how things went with her embossing. She said she had some trouble. I told her that maybe we could get together in a couple weeks maybe we could get together.
Tuesday, I recieved an invite to a new military web site called TogetherWeServed. Absolutely the best. Ever. In less than 24 hours, I located people who I have wondered about for years. The members names are sorted alphabetically or you can search just through your rating, by NEC or duty station. There are forums and messaging available. The traffic is high it appears because the site is having a bit of difficulty keeping up this morning. But as soon as I can afford it, I'm sending them a donation. Best thing I've found for finding people in the military yet. Yah!
Monday, January 08, 2007
My mom is out of surgery. She has about a 6" incision along her right shoulder. The doctor says she did well and she should be able to move her arm a little very soon. It took a plate and 4 screws to fix it.
When I walked in the room after she got out of recovery, she looked so bad. It scared me pretty bad. In fact, I'm pretty sure that she looked better after the heart attack and having a pacemaker put in!
Anyway, I am so grateful that she made it out of the surgery ok. She will stay overnight at the medical center and go home tomorrow. She'll be out of work for 6 weeks and then have to do physical therapy for a while.
Lord, thank you for my Mom and thank you for keeping her safe.
When I walked in the room after she got out of recovery, she looked so bad. It scared me pretty bad. In fact, I'm pretty sure that she looked better after the heart attack and having a pacemaker put in!
Anyway, I am so grateful that she made it out of the surgery ok. She will stay overnight at the medical center and go home tomorrow. She'll be out of work for 6 weeks and then have to do physical therapy for a while.
Lord, thank you for my Mom and thank you for keeping her safe.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
There is a God who loves me...
who wraps me in His arms...
that is the place where I'm changed
and that's where I belong
take me to that place, Lord
to that secret place where
I can be with You
You can make me like You
wrap me in Your arms
wrap me in Your arms
And he's changing me. From glory to glory.
I realized this week that the kids and I have been back in the states for nearly 7 years even.
7 is a number of completion. A moving into new things.
I believe God is moving us to a new place, a new level of maturity, a new thing.
It is good. God is good!
-
Friday night was our first night to stay at our new home. As I crawled into bed, I looked at the wall opposite my bed and was startled. One of the kids had hung up a cross stitched picture I did for my Daddy before he passed away. It is a beautiful piece and has a short little poem about Dads. I'll have to write it down to put it here.
Also, my friend, Amanda, called. She said she had something she wanted to drop off at the house. The beautiful shelf that I had asked her to hold on Monday, then called earlier in the day to tell her to take off hold because I couldn't afford, she brought to me. She said she felt she was supposed to bless us. Blessed I am. She and I unloaded it and put it in the hallway. It's lovely.
After CR, the kids and I went to Walmart to buy food. There was only a turkey and a lasagna in the refrigerator/freezer.
And how did we inaugrate our new home? I picked up the bag holding the gallon of kosher dill pickles and promptly the bottom fell out of the bag. The jar shattered all over the kitchen/dining room floor. I didn't think I would ever get all the pickle juice and glass up.
Yesterday was the first day that we have spent at home for over 24 hours without leaving in over a year and a half. All day in the same place. Breezy and Chaz were not fighting. It was peaceful.
My sister and her two sons came to visit as well. We had fajitas for a late lunch and cheeseball and crackers for a snack.
We also had our first overnight guest. Chaz was so psyched. One of his best friends stayed with us and it was also one of the few times he got to spend the night somewhere other than home.
Today, we'll go home and cook that lasagna for lunch (Breezy will have chicken nuggets).
that is the place where I'm changed
and that's where I belong
take me to that place, Lord
to that secret place where
I can be with You
You can make me like You
wrap me in Your arms
wrap me in Your arms
And he's changing me. From glory to glory.
I realized this week that the kids and I have been back in the states for nearly 7 years even.
7 is a number of completion. A moving into new things.
I believe God is moving us to a new place, a new level of maturity, a new thing.
It is good. God is good!
-
Friday night was our first night to stay at our new home. As I crawled into bed, I looked at the wall opposite my bed and was startled. One of the kids had hung up a cross stitched picture I did for my Daddy before he passed away. It is a beautiful piece and has a short little poem about Dads. I'll have to write it down to put it here.
Also, my friend, Amanda, called. She said she had something she wanted to drop off at the house. The beautiful shelf that I had asked her to hold on Monday, then called earlier in the day to tell her to take off hold because I couldn't afford, she brought to me. She said she felt she was supposed to bless us. Blessed I am. She and I unloaded it and put it in the hallway. It's lovely.
After CR, the kids and I went to Walmart to buy food. There was only a turkey and a lasagna in the refrigerator/freezer.
And how did we inaugrate our new home? I picked up the bag holding the gallon of kosher dill pickles and promptly the bottom fell out of the bag. The jar shattered all over the kitchen/dining room floor. I didn't think I would ever get all the pickle juice and glass up.
Yesterday was the first day that we have spent at home for over 24 hours without leaving in over a year and a half. All day in the same place. Breezy and Chaz were not fighting. It was peaceful.
My sister and her two sons came to visit as well. We had fajitas for a late lunch and cheeseball and crackers for a snack.
We also had our first overnight guest. Chaz was so psyched. One of his best friends stayed with us and it was also one of the few times he got to spend the night somewhere other than home.
Today, we'll go home and cook that lasagna for lunch (Breezy will have chicken nuggets).
Thursday, January 04, 2007
I was thinking and reading my Bible this morning as I waited for the kids to wake up. And I realized that for the past several years, I've been living as if I don't deserve anything. I bought cheap plastic shelves to hold the vhs/dvd collection because I was living in a slum trailer and thought it (and I) didn't deserve any better.
A lot of the motions I've been going through and the things I've been doing have been because I didn't feel I was good enough.
Yesterday morning, Chaz, Breezy, and I went to visit a friend at the flea market/antique shop she works at part time. I found a fabulous shelf thingie in her booth and a beautiful retro table in another booth. I asked her to hold the shelf thingie and talked with the owner about the table. I've no idea how I'll afford it but I'm definitely thinking about it. We've not had a kitchen table in nearly 4 years. Tv trays have been the order of business at our house.
And we are not preparing a house, we are preparing a home.
Just a few thoughts to go with everything else that is running through my mind this morning.
For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." Romans 8:15
A lot of the motions I've been going through and the things I've been doing have been because I didn't feel I was good enough.
Yesterday morning, Chaz, Breezy, and I went to visit a friend at the flea market/antique shop she works at part time. I found a fabulous shelf thingie in her booth and a beautiful retro table in another booth. I asked her to hold the shelf thingie and talked with the owner about the table. I've no idea how I'll afford it but I'm definitely thinking about it. We've not had a kitchen table in nearly 4 years. Tv trays have been the order of business at our house.
And we are not preparing a house, we are preparing a home.
Just a few thoughts to go with everything else that is running through my mind this morning.
For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." Romans 8:15
I was thinking and reading my Bible this morning as I waited for the kids to wake up. And I realized that for the past several years, I've been living as if I don't deserve anything. I bought cheap plastic shelves to hold the vhs/dvd collection because I was living in a slum trailer and thought it (and I) didn't deserve any better.
A lot of the motions I've been going through and the things I've been doing have been because I didn't feel I was good enough.
Yesterday morning, Chaz, Breezy, and I went to visit a friend at the flea market/antique shop she works at part time. I found a fabulous shelf thingie in her booth and a beautiful retro table in another booth. I asked her to hold the shelf thingie and talked with the owner about the table. I've no idea how I'll afford it but I'm definitely thinking about it. We've not had a kitchen table in nearly 4 years. Tv trays have been the order of business at our house.
And we are not preparing a house, we are preparing a home.
Just a few thoughts to go with everything else that is running through my mind this morning.
For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." Romans 8:15
A lot of the motions I've been going through and the things I've been doing have been because I didn't feel I was good enough.
Yesterday morning, Chaz, Breezy, and I went to visit a friend at the flea market/antique shop she works at part time. I found a fabulous shelf thingie in her booth and a beautiful retro table in another booth. I asked her to hold the shelf thingie and talked with the owner about the table. I've no idea how I'll afford it but I'm definitely thinking about it. We've not had a kitchen table in nearly 4 years. Tv trays have been the order of business at our house.
And we are not preparing a house, we are preparing a home.
Just a few thoughts to go with everything else that is running through my mind this morning.
For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." Romans 8:15
no nails...
My fingernails are soft because I've been doing dishes constantly for four days at the new place. I realized just how soft when they started shredding this morning. I've managed to shred all but the thumbs. Those are still thick and healthy. The worse part about shredding them is the tips of my fingers hurt where they are normally covered by the nail. duh.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
insert foot here....
Located: all of the missing Japanese bowls/dishes.
Foot? I talked to M today. He asked if I was flirting with him. I told him no, if I was I would tell him.
The conversation ends. And as I'm thinking about the conversation afterwards, I realized I wasn't quite truthful. And so...
I called him back. And said...
I may not have been at that point flirting but it has definitely crossed my mind.
And he said...
"I'm flattered." And that was about it.
Insert foot, move over, make room for other foot.
I feel so stupid. What a way to start the new year. I feel like a fool.
And so... worship was good. And pastor stood up to pray afterward and said...
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea. Psalm 46:1-2
The sermon is on "New Season." I could use a new season already. I know God is bigger than my mouth. I know He gives grace. I could use an extra dose today.
Foot? I talked to M today. He asked if I was flirting with him. I told him no, if I was I would tell him.
The conversation ends. And as I'm thinking about the conversation afterwards, I realized I wasn't quite truthful. And so...
I called him back. And said...
I may not have been at that point flirting but it has definitely crossed my mind.
And he said...
"I'm flattered." And that was about it.
Insert foot, move over, make room for other foot.
I feel so stupid. What a way to start the new year. I feel like a fool.
And so... worship was good. And pastor stood up to pray afterward and said...
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea. Psalm 46:1-2
The sermon is on "New Season." I could use a new season already. I know God is bigger than my mouth. I know He gives grace. I could use an extra dose today.
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
New Year Fun!
For New Year's Day, I did something I've never done before.... Got stuck in the mud. Up to the front axle of my van. In my sister's driveway!
It was a first for her as well. She says she's lived there for 14 years and no one has ever been stuck before. *sigh*
She had to have the neighbor bring his truck over and pull the van out using the rear bumper. It seems my van has nothing to hook a chain onto in the front. I'm grateful that her neighbor had a truck that was big enough to pull the van out!
The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. Standard black-eyed peas for "luck" with pork chops, rice, and corn bread. Yummy! Some cheese dip with chips. What more do you need to eat? Oh yeah, dessert. Tasty chocolate cake with chocolate icing and more chocolate for topping!
Sis and I played 13 games of 313. She stomped me 9 games. I don't think I've ever lost so bad at cards in my life.
Today we popped by the new house and I did a few dishes.
A trip by the Navy Exchange to exchange Breezy's shoes for the right size. After we left she discovered that she has two left shoes. I get to take that pair back. I must remind her that she needs to try on both shoes to ensure that this doesn't happen. Oh well.
I've managed to get an email out with our new mailing address. Updated our addy at the bank, Paypal, amazon, and ebay. Ordered an updated driver's license. oh yeah, my military pay thingie also. I need to contact everyone else to finish that up. The post office would be a good place to have started.
Drove by the old place. The former landlord, it appears, plans to rent it out again!!!! DMV says they can't do anything about it.
Anyway, guess I need to start figuring out what to feed the kids before they are starving.
Tomorrow's agenda? Unpacking!
It was a first for her as well. She says she's lived there for 14 years and no one has ever been stuck before. *sigh*
She had to have the neighbor bring his truck over and pull the van out using the rear bumper. It seems my van has nothing to hook a chain onto in the front. I'm grateful that her neighbor had a truck that was big enough to pull the van out!
The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. Standard black-eyed peas for "luck" with pork chops, rice, and corn bread. Yummy! Some cheese dip with chips. What more do you need to eat? Oh yeah, dessert. Tasty chocolate cake with chocolate icing and more chocolate for topping!
Sis and I played 13 games of 313. She stomped me 9 games. I don't think I've ever lost so bad at cards in my life.
Today we popped by the new house and I did a few dishes.
A trip by the Navy Exchange to exchange Breezy's shoes for the right size. After we left she discovered that she has two left shoes. I get to take that pair back. I must remind her that she needs to try on both shoes to ensure that this doesn't happen. Oh well.
I've managed to get an email out with our new mailing address. Updated our addy at the bank, Paypal, amazon, and ebay. Ordered an updated driver's license. oh yeah, my military pay thingie also. I need to contact everyone else to finish that up. The post office would be a good place to have started.
Drove by the old place. The former landlord, it appears, plans to rent it out again!!!! DMV says they can't do anything about it.
Anyway, guess I need to start figuring out what to feed the kids before they are starving.
Tomorrow's agenda? Unpacking!
Monday, January 01, 2007
Happy New Year!
The kids had a New Year's Eve party hosted by a couple who work the youth at church. There were about 12 kids. After midnight, they gave the boys a ride home and the girls got to spend the night.
I popped in to say hi, left with one of the other adults who picked up the college length twin bed that I had left beside the trailer when I moved out. Helped her get it loaded at the old place and unloaded it at her place.
Had dinner at Ruby Tuesday's. It's so nice to have a decent restaurant on this side of town. The soup and salad were great as always and the blondie brownie with coffee was yummy!
We finished getting moved out of the other place today. My neighbor who also goes to church with us took pictures of it in the event the landlord wants to be difficult. When we moved my bed frame, we discovered an opening about a foot long in the corner of the room that lets you see the siding from the trailer!!
I also walked around the trailer for the first time in forever. It's seriously leaning to the back left corner. I didn't even realize just how much until I started cleaning about 3 weeks ago and noticed a slant to the floor. But after getting the furniture out, it's like WHOA!
I plan on calling the DMV on Tuesday/Wednesday to report it. Did ya know that the DMV handles regulation of mobile homes? Neither did I until Friday.
As of today the kids will have new nicknames. Talia becomes Breezy and Skif becomes Chaz. Talia and Skif were names from my favorite books and as I no longer read the books and have gotten rid of them, I felt it was time for the kids to get new nicknames. Now all I have to do is remember them!
Later today, we'll be back at our new home unpacking. I'm so excited about finally being unpacked. I still can't get over the fact that I've not been completely unpacked since 1989!!! Mind boggling to say the least.
And did I say how grateful I am??? I am so grateful to the Lord for this new place and for my amazing children.
Happy New Year!
I popped in to say hi, left with one of the other adults who picked up the college length twin bed that I had left beside the trailer when I moved out. Helped her get it loaded at the old place and unloaded it at her place.
Had dinner at Ruby Tuesday's. It's so nice to have a decent restaurant on this side of town. The soup and salad were great as always and the blondie brownie with coffee was yummy!
We finished getting moved out of the other place today. My neighbor who also goes to church with us took pictures of it in the event the landlord wants to be difficult. When we moved my bed frame, we discovered an opening about a foot long in the corner of the room that lets you see the siding from the trailer!!
I also walked around the trailer for the first time in forever. It's seriously leaning to the back left corner. I didn't even realize just how much until I started cleaning about 3 weeks ago and noticed a slant to the floor. But after getting the furniture out, it's like WHOA!
I plan on calling the DMV on Tuesday/Wednesday to report it. Did ya know that the DMV handles regulation of mobile homes? Neither did I until Friday.
As of today the kids will have new nicknames. Talia becomes Breezy and Skif becomes Chaz. Talia and Skif were names from my favorite books and as I no longer read the books and have gotten rid of them, I felt it was time for the kids to get new nicknames. Now all I have to do is remember them!
Later today, we'll be back at our new home unpacking. I'm so excited about finally being unpacked. I still can't get over the fact that I've not been completely unpacked since 1989!!! Mind boggling to say the least.
And did I say how grateful I am??? I am so grateful to the Lord for this new place and for my amazing children.
Happy New Year!
Thursday, December 28, 2006
moving...
Moving. Wow. It's going well. God sent an angel to help me!! RF is fabulous. No judging. Just asked what needed to be done and started. Phenomenal attitude about moving and straightening things out. She asked me about zones and I sort of looked at her like "huh?" Zones, you know that you want to use for certain things... books, music, crafts, games, linens, etc. Oh, those. Um.. books over there and dvd's over there! She's going to help me get it all set up.
As I was thinking about this yesterday, I realized that I have not been completely unpacked since 1989. I have had stuff in boxes or shoved in closets in some form or the other since 1990!! And I wonder why it's so hard.
I am really excited though. I know God is preparing us for the future, whatever it may hold.
And while at times I would like to have a husband in the picture, what kind of wife would I make when 3/4 of our meals were eatten out or on the run? When my home looks like a bomb dropped on it?
I am grateful that He is faithful and this is being revealed to me. I have spent most of my life running from the home and lately, I have felt as if I belonged at home but where we were was so bad that I couldn't force myself to be there for anything other than to sleep and even that was difficult at times.
On other notes, I am beginning PRISM again in January. Starting with the first lesson again. This time, I intend to actually follow through with the lessons that go with the program.
Also plan on making time for the kids and I to have Bible study time together. And for me to have more quiet time. We'll actually have a place where we can be comfortable as we study.
And lastly, I plan on praying "Surprise Me God" as much as possible. I know there are days that I may forget but God showed me so much in the last 30 days that I might have missed or not been open to.
As I was thinking about this yesterday, I realized that I have not been completely unpacked since 1989. I have had stuff in boxes or shoved in closets in some form or the other since 1990!! And I wonder why it's so hard.
I am really excited though. I know God is preparing us for the future, whatever it may hold.
And while at times I would like to have a husband in the picture, what kind of wife would I make when 3/4 of our meals were eatten out or on the run? When my home looks like a bomb dropped on it?
I am grateful that He is faithful and this is being revealed to me. I have spent most of my life running from the home and lately, I have felt as if I belonged at home but where we were was so bad that I couldn't force myself to be there for anything other than to sleep and even that was difficult at times.
On other notes, I am beginning PRISM again in January. Starting with the first lesson again. This time, I intend to actually follow through with the lessons that go with the program.
Also plan on making time for the kids and I to have Bible study time together. And for me to have more quiet time. We'll actually have a place where we can be comfortable as we study.
And lastly, I plan on praying "Surprise Me God" as much as possible. I know there are days that I may forget but God showed me so much in the last 30 days that I might have missed or not been open to.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Christmas was good. The kids got what they wanted for Christmas. Between gifts from "Santa" (via the angel tree), mom (me), and aunts and uncles, they were happy. I'm glad. I was really afraid that they would actually be without for a while.
Our family (my mom and her husband, my three sisters, one of my two brothers, and two spouses) were together for Christmas. It was good. We spent alot of time playing cards and talking.
And for the big Christmas present? I've been talking about it for months. I've been dreaming about it for longer.... Huh, what are you talking about?
A new home!!!
I signed a lease today on the new place. And got a key. Tomorrow, a friend, R, is coming to help me get packed and start moving stuff. K is going to go with me to pick up my new bed, dresser, and nightstand that I was given.
I'm dreading telling the landlord as I'm sure he will notice we're packing and want to know why I didn't give him notice. But I absolutely do not want anything to do with him at this point after the year we've had where we are. From the front door that will not seal completely to the broken window that has been broken for two years to the fact the trailer is not level and has not been level since a tree hit the back of it during Ivan, to the guy he was renting to who was breaking in our house stealing our food and stuff that he wouldn't press charges against. (I'm thinking I might have a forgiveness issue to deal with)
Anyway, we are moving. New carpet, new windows, new appliances and all that. We will have fish instead of cats. Talia is content with that. Skif wants a dog but understands we need to wait a bit. I'll be happy not to be feeding an entire neighborhood of cats! 20 pounds of cat food every couple weeks is alot (and expensive)!
I am so grateful for a new place. We are going to pray over it and anoint it before moving in as well. I've got to take over a cd player and start playing music as well.
Guess I should get some sleep so I can get up early and pack. Say a prayer for us!
Our family (my mom and her husband, my three sisters, one of my two brothers, and two spouses) were together for Christmas. It was good. We spent alot of time playing cards and talking.
And for the big Christmas present? I've been talking about it for months. I've been dreaming about it for longer.... Huh, what are you talking about?
A new home!!!
I signed a lease today on the new place. And got a key. Tomorrow, a friend, R, is coming to help me get packed and start moving stuff. K is going to go with me to pick up my new bed, dresser, and nightstand that I was given.
I'm dreading telling the landlord as I'm sure he will notice we're packing and want to know why I didn't give him notice. But I absolutely do not want anything to do with him at this point after the year we've had where we are. From the front door that will not seal completely to the broken window that has been broken for two years to the fact the trailer is not level and has not been level since a tree hit the back of it during Ivan, to the guy he was renting to who was breaking in our house stealing our food and stuff that he wouldn't press charges against. (I'm thinking I might have a forgiveness issue to deal with)
Anyway, we are moving. New carpet, new windows, new appliances and all that. We will have fish instead of cats. Talia is content with that. Skif wants a dog but understands we need to wait a bit. I'll be happy not to be feeding an entire neighborhood of cats! 20 pounds of cat food every couple weeks is alot (and expensive)!
I am so grateful for a new place. We are going to pray over it and anoint it before moving in as well. I've got to take over a cd player and start playing music as well.
Guess I should get some sleep so I can get up early and pack. Say a prayer for us!
Monday, December 25, 2006
Merry Christmas!
For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6 (NIV)
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. Luke 2:14 (KJV)
I am grateful for a God who loves me enough to send His only Sonto earth for our salvation.
This was also our sermon today. A Christmas Story. (It will be able to be viewed on the church web site soon.)
Today, I am grateful for my children, Skif and Talia. I am grateful for my family who we will share the day with. I am grateful for the friends God has put into our lives who put up with us, mentor us, correct us, and love us.
As for Surprise Me God, today is day 28. God showed me today and all these past days how many people He put in our lives who truly care for us.
Merry Christmas to all who pass by this way!
Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. Luke 2:14 (KJV)
I am grateful for a God who loves me enough to send His only Sonto earth for our salvation.
This was also our sermon today. A Christmas Story. (It will be able to be viewed on the church web site soon.)
Today, I am grateful for my children, Skif and Talia. I am grateful for my family who we will share the day with. I am grateful for the friends God has put into our lives who put up with us, mentor us, correct us, and love us.
As for Surprise Me God, today is day 28. God showed me today and all these past days how many people He put in our lives who truly care for us.
Merry Christmas to all who pass by this way!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)