whew, long time

I know, I know. it's been a while. A long while.

Much has happened. School is out. I spent the last week of the school year in the hospital. Um yup.

I've been having really bad headaches for months. Little numbness in my hands every now and again. The last Monday in May, I tried to give blood but my blood pressure was 152/104. To say the least they wouldn't let me give. So I went ahead with the kids and went to the movies.

On Tuesday, I didn't feel right so I let my supervisor know and went to the emergency room. My B/P was 152/98 when I got there. I was having that pins and needle feeling in my left arm. The doctor had me put on a heart monitor and hooked to an iv for fluids. They pulled some blood. He seemed to think it was just my B/P until they got the blood test results back. Everything was normal except I had troponin in my blood. Troponin is only supposed to be in your blood if you have had a heart attack or are going to have a heart attack. So they admitted me to the hospital. The next day, I had a echocardiogram and a stress test. Both turned out normal and later that day they released me with no answer about the troponin levels.

On Thursday, I was getting ready for work when I had an intense pain across the center of my back. I thought geez, I really slept well to cause this much pain in my back. But the pain started getting worse, and then I started thinking women present for heart attacks in their back. I'm pretty sure I panicked because then I started feeling tightness in the chest. I dropped Chaz at school and called a friend to come and pick up Breezy from the hospital.

By the time I got to the ER, my B/P was 198/100. They pulled some blood again, started a heart monitor and iv. Again, there was troponin in my blood but everything else looked ok. I explained what was going on and they decided to send me to a local hospital via ambulance.

Off to the hospital I go. Thank goodness they don't run sirens when they transport someone like that. whew! Within 30 minutes of arriving at the hospital, the cardiologist on call had me in for a heart catheterization. Everything normal. He scheduled me for a CT scan at 5 a.m. the next morning. They slapped nitro patches on me and kept me on the heart monitor all night. Put me on blood pressure medications.

The next morning, the tech came in to take me for the CT scan. I was back in my room by 6. Then I waited. And waited and waited. The doctor never did show up. When I asked about him, I was told he hadn't made rounds of the floor yet. By the time they paged him and he returned the page, he was over 40 miles from Pensacola. He told them to release me, my tests were fine. Excuse me? Did I miss something? To say the least I was pissed.

A friend called someone at the hospital who worked there and she came to see me. They paged the doctor again. He finally called back and said he had the ER doctor write me a prescription for the blood pressure medications and that when he came to see me I was having a test done. Don't even get me started on that comment. I left the hospital over 12 hours after the CT scan with two prescriptions for the blood pressure medications. As I was being discharged, the nurse told me that my troponin levels were normal and had been since just after I arrived at the hospital the day before. Do you think maybe someone should have told me earlier?

I am grateful to God that I am ok. I'm 45 years old and now know that both my heart and lungs are in good condition. I am slowly losing weight (4 pounds already). I'm eatting better. Moving more. I thank God that I will be around for my children.

Last week, I went to a funeral for a friend's nephew. He was under 20 and had committed suicide. Wow! My heart goes out to the family for the unanswered questions left by his death. It was a tough funeral to attend. It was also the first funeral Chaz and Breezy have been to.

After the funeral, I called the kids dad to again encourage him to stay in contact with them. Let him know that they both have Facebook accounts with dozens of pictures. He told me they had trouble connecting to Facebook. (Only people I know with that particular problem.)

They have both had cell phones for 22 months and in all that time he has called 3 times total. I received an email the next day saying not to contact him any longer and if the kids wanted to talk to him that they could call.

How could you not want to keep contact with two of the most amazing kids ever? That's not just my opinion as a Mom. That is the report of everyone who works with them, mentors them, loves them. Amazing children. And I'm angry all over again at him.

So, I'm preparing a draft message to respond to him with. I'll save it. One of these days, I'll need it when they start asking questions. A friend is reviewing it with me to make sure I don't let my emotions override what needs to be said.

I also talked to that friend about what would happen if something happened to me. She told me that she and her husband had already discussed it. They would like the kids to come live with them. I talked to it with Breezy a little bit. She is good with that idea. I've not talked to Chaz about it. After we discuss it, I will be having my will prepared and select the executor of the estate.

Other than that, the last month and a half haven't been bad. I've taken a lot of pictures. I recently figured out how many I have posted on Facebook. Over 2000. One day I'd love to own a DSLR camera (with an autofocus mode too) to take better pictures. My daddy was a photographer on the side. He took beautiful pictures. My mother is a great photographer as well. This apple didn't fall too far from the tree. I'd love to take professional portrait photos, landscape, animals, whatever. Just let me take some pictures.



Saw Joshua Stevens, Steven Cochran and John Michael Montgomery in concert at the base with my sister. Incredible concert. Steven Cochran has quite the testimony. A tour in Iraq and Afghanistan. He was injured in Afghanistan and he said he woke up a month later at Bethesda. He said he was told he would never walk again. He's walking and talking and singing. God is good.

Ah, but Eli Stone was on last night. We watched. I still can't believe ABC canceled it. I'll be sending them another email. It was great!

Chaz and Breezy will be attending a youth conference at the church on Monday and Tuesday. Then Wednesday - Saturday they will be at a worship conference. They are pretty excited about it.

Today, they are spending time with friends out on the water. I thank God for the incredible mentors he has placed in their lives. People who care and show that they care.

I miss you Daddy.

oh yeah!

I won tickets to the Winter WonderSlam Tour from Power 88. Oh yeah!


Other things... Hurricane Gustav went to our west. We got lots of rain and wind but no damage. My mom, her husband, my sister, and her two sons came and stayed with Chaz and I. Breezy spent the night with a friend that evening. Played some cards and talked a lot. It was good.

Saturday morning, I went to the Humane Society to sign up to work as a volunteer. I filled out the forms, got the tour and then I got to spend about 2 hours sitting in a room playing with kitties! I love kitties. :o)

Work has been crazy busy. Learning new things. I got to do some basic training type stuff with two new health technicians who are going to schools around mine.

Anyway, I need to get busy. I came up here to do some work. Need to get it done. Later.

Visit Mugs of Truth




Busy busy week again. Last week was FTE week. Don't ask me what it stands for. I have no idea. But in that week, we total all the medications we give, all the special procedures, tally all the allergies, adhd, etc numbers, and add in the number of students actually visted the clinic and turn them in. Final total: 348.

Saturday was WinterJam at the Mitchell Center in Mobile. Phenomenal!!! 10,500 people inside. The estimate for those turned away because there was no more room was 3,500-4,000!!!! The artists were amazing. I went mostly because I wanted to see MercyMe and NewSong. The worship was incredible. I have to admit that Skillet was probably my favorite. The pyrotechnics were WOW!! 15 foot columns of fire along with water mist and some sparkler type thingies. And I actually knew 4 of the 5 songs they did. Way cool. We went up with a group of 45 and another 40 or so from our church joined us there.

I managed to get my taxes filed finally. The free efile from Turbo Tax wasn't working for me this year due to a change in the way I had to file the bonus from the school so I used H&R Block as a friend recommended. Very good. We should have our refund back by the 21st. Yah! Part to the church, part to the kids, a bead order, and possibly a down payment on a car.

We are praying about a car. New or used? I don't want a huge payment so it's really weighing on me. We have got to replace the van. It needs a transmission and there is something seriously wrong with the undercarriage/frame.

I've also been sort of agitated lately. The single life and singles ministry has been on my mind. I'm torn between if the agitation is that I'm still single after being alone with the kids for 8 years or just agitated because something is missing or I'm waiting for something to happen.

I also realized I'm starting to pick up on other's emotions/feelings again. For a while I believe God softened how strongly I reacted to others emotions/feelings. But it seems to be getting stronger again.

I've been reading my Bible in the mornings after I get to school. I usually have 20 minutes or so of quiet time before my day officially starts. It's been good.

There's a song out that I think is just the bomb-diggity and I can't find it to download from iTunes or Zune. Paul Alan's "To bring you back." Awesome song. Now if only I can find the lyrics or at least the download so I can type out the lyrics.

whoa...

God is good all the time. Even in the middle of my stuff, He's good.

School is going well. Report cards come home this week. Chaz made the soccer team. He'll be alternating between the Varsity team and the Junior Varsity team. Breezy is singing with a youth band at church and they'll get to sing at the church's FunFest on Wednesday. They've been practicing hard.

I'm actually typing this entry from my laptop. Yes, once upon a time I said I'd never own a laptop and if given one, I'd sell it and buy a desktop. But over the last few months as I think about college and convenience, a laptop was looking more and more sound. 2 weeks ago today, I thought abut that vow (yes, that's what it was), I realized I needed to break the vow. So I prayed and asked God to forgive me for making the vow and broke it. A few days later, I was visiting a friend and the conversation turned to computers. I told her I was looking to buy a laptop with my tax refund check in February. She offered me a computer to use until then and pulled out a Sony Vaio laptop. As we were cleaning her stuff off the hard drive, she looked at me and asked if I would be offended if she offered me the laptop. She said she'd understand if I said no because I wanted to pick out my "own" laptop later. I accepted! This computer is so much more than anything I would have bought with my tax refund. The screen is huge! There is still warranty left on it and it's transferrable. (Already got a new battery for it) What a blessing! She's the bomb-diggity! She told me that since she uses an apple it's harder to transfer back and forth to the Windows platform. Yah! Thank you for my friend and thank you God!

Casting Crowns is coming in concert next month. A friend and I decided to go but had not purchased tickets yet. Today, I got a phone call from someone who said he had 3 tickets to the concert that were available. They had been given to him to bless someone else. Whoa! Yah! So, my friend and I and the friend who gave me the laptop are going to see Casting Crowns next month. My favorite group!

We are doing the Truth Project at the church. Last night we saw the "how great is our God" video done by Louie GiglioThis" is a great description of it by Kyle (google is your friend). WOW! God is so cool. And to think the stuff that holds us together is Laminin and it's shaped like a cross and the cross holds us to God. Dude. Way cool.

Work has been busy. But I discovered something last week that I didn't think about for the first two months of school. My computer was changed out over the summer from a full size (HUGE) monitor to a flat one. What a difference in the clutter on my desk. There is none! I moved my pampered chef pen/pencil holder to a side desk and when I come in the office, my desk is clean. It's a pleasure to come to work and see the desk empty. The days have been flying by. I'll look up at the clock and it'll be 12:20 p.m. and I wonder where the first 4 hours went! It is good!

Anyway, that's enough for now. I am wonderfully made and wonderfully blessed. I have two healthy children (one of which turned 15 last week). I have a great job that I like almost all the time. I'm part of a beautiful church that preaches God's word and reaches out to others. We have a great home, a vehicle, amazing friends and family. God is good!

ramblings...

I'm done playing for now. I wanted to test the blogger beta features. I like that you can now play with the template while looking at it. Most of mine, I added html rather than use the link features. That way I could get it to read the way I wanted.

I haven't figured out how to add images and get rid of the header. For now, this will have to do.

I'm sitting at church. In the process of rearranging the bookstore and doing some children's stuff.

I'm also listening to the recording of our night worship that was held on Friday the 13th. I could listen to the song "The Stand" for hours. Wait! I've been doing that!

My van is in for repairs today. The check engine light came on Tuesday morning. I stopped by the mechanic yesterday and they hooked it up to the little diagnostic machine. It's a "743" error, a torque converter problem. I have no idea the cost but I'm praying it's not going to break me.

When I got out of bed this morning, I nearly fell. It appears that I have an inner ear infection or something that has my equilibrium off. If it gets any worse, I'm going to have to go to the doctor.

Today is the Blue Angel airshow. We live right off the main traffic path for the show. Can you say no going home until late this evening? Tomorrow is a repeat performance.

Skif is playing in the All Star game tomorrow night. I took him to practice on Wednesday night. Talked to the coach for a few minutes after practice. He seemed surprised when told this was Skif's first year of playing basketball on a team.

Talia gets to go to the Barlow Girl concert tonight. She's so excited! Yah! She gets cuter by the day.

Both Skif and Talia gave me their Christmas lists yesterday. I told them to be realistic. Maybe not the best thing to tell a kid but they know the real deal now.

Skif wants Legos, a skateboard, a scooter, the Star Wars II game for GameCube, and money. Talia wants earrings, a purse (but not too girly!), a skateboard, a Barlow Girl cd, and money. That gives me something to work toward for the next few weeks leading up to Christmas.

Talia is going to be in the Christmas drama at church. She gets to cop an attitude for her part. Oh boy!

Outta here and back to work for now. Kids are hungry too. (Like that's a surprise!)