God is so good. Even when I don't understand all that is going on around me.
Monday night, we got to watch a Class 3 wrecker assist an 18 wheeler next to Walmart. The driver had not swung the rig wide enough for the turn and the trailer ended up coming lose from the 5th pin on the rig. It was neat to watch how the driver of the Class 3 wrecker hooked up the trailer and lifted it enough that the rig driver could reposition his truck under the trailer. It took nearly an hour but it was something new.
For some reason, my memory of Tuesday is near non-existent. I know it was a good day. I am just foggy at the moment.
Wednesday, I was asked to help prepare a bulletin for a funeral service. The worship was excellent as always.
Today was just emotional. One of our guidance counselors came and asked me to pray with a grandparent about a former student who is in the hospital. Somehow in the midst of my tears, I was able to say something. When I finished, the grandma told me she was more at peace. I'm glad I had the opportunity to pray with her.
The rest of the day was tough. I felt like I had been drained of all my energy. It was strange.
After work, the kids and I went to visit the couple who brought me all the handmade paper. Their home is amazing!!! The colors are bright and beautiful. Much different than anything I would put in a house but they work so well. T asked me if we wanted to join them for dinner. I said sure. And then...
I got to see the machine. DUDE! Whoa! I want one of those! My head is spinning from all the possibilities!
After looking around, C showed me some of the board/materials he uses to make picture frames. Some of this stuff is 60 bucks a foot! That's some expensive picture frames!
Dinner was excellent. T made spaghetti and homemade flat bread to go with it. I really need to get that recipe.
I think the thing that makes me saddest though, is they will be moving soon. Headed to Ohio. I wish I had met them sooner and gotten to know them better. We met during the S.H.A.P.E. class and I have been tremendously blessed by them. And not just because of the paper. They are just wonderful people who love God and it reflects in everything they say and do.
I was actually sad we had to leave to come to church for the drama practice.
Drama practice. If you're in my neck of the woods, stop in around 8:30 or 10:30 and enjoy the drama and say hi. We're always here.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Monday, December 11, 2006
Surprise Me God #14 & 15
Surprise Me God #14
God is so good. He gave me an opportunity to share the things He is doing in my life and the changes he is making.
We also finished the S.H.A.P.E. small group that I have been part of. It was good. I've been absolutely blessed through this class and the people I have met.
I found out that another lady in the church blogs and we're going to swap blog urls. This will be the first person I've shared my blog with in the church.
Surprise Me God #15
Busy day. My poor nurse was out half the day again. She has an upper respiratory infection.
I managed to do most of my statistics for last month and have only a couple forms left to finish.
Finished the last of my Christmas cards. I made 211 + 32 (my nurse's cards). Now all I have to do is write in them and address them.
I also paid my electric bill. Anyone attempted to do this in Pensacola lately? You know... Bill Matrix? Or better yet... attempted to use the new Gulf Power telephone line? Yeah, you know what I mean.
The following is my email to Gulf Power concerning their new "voice" activated system (submitted through their web page as the phone number I was given was disconnected).
I have used the "new" voice activated telephone number for Pensacola (969-3111).
It is absolutely without a doubt the most non-user friendly telephone service I have ever used.
I would prefer NOT to share any of my information regarding my electric bill in public. Speaking to the phone is ridiculous unless I am speaking to a real person which in the case of your new phone system is next to impossible.
Furthermore, when I requested an address where I could file my complaint, the customer service representative who I finally got on the phone gave me a disconnected phone number!
This is unacceptable. Surely, there must be a better solution for your customer service line.
Note: Glad I checked that before sending. Heh, I'd have posted my name and phone number to the internet! EEK!
My surprise? God lets me work where I do and minister to kids. Also, I'm at a point that if He wants me to stay at the school for another year, I'm ok with that. I did plan on leaving the end of the year.
Oh yeah, I have a beautiful visual for a wall hanging thanks to the people who gave me the gorgeous handmade papers. The wife said "Even the most beautiful flower has to go through some dirt to bloom." She didn't know where the quote came from but God gave me an awesome visual last night. I'm going to try to make it out of paper this week. Like that's any surprise! LOL
God is so good. He gave me an opportunity to share the things He is doing in my life and the changes he is making.
We also finished the S.H.A.P.E. small group that I have been part of. It was good. I've been absolutely blessed through this class and the people I have met.
I found out that another lady in the church blogs and we're going to swap blog urls. This will be the first person I've shared my blog with in the church.
Surprise Me God #15
Busy day. My poor nurse was out half the day again. She has an upper respiratory infection.
I managed to do most of my statistics for last month and have only a couple forms left to finish.
Finished the last of my Christmas cards. I made 211 + 32 (my nurse's cards). Now all I have to do is write in them and address them.
I also paid my electric bill. Anyone attempted to do this in Pensacola lately? You know... Bill Matrix? Or better yet... attempted to use the new Gulf Power telephone line? Yeah, you know what I mean.
The following is my email to Gulf Power concerning their new "voice" activated system (submitted through their web page as the phone number I was given was disconnected).
I have used the "new" voice activated telephone number for Pensacola (969-3111).
It is absolutely without a doubt the most non-user friendly telephone service I have ever used.
I would prefer NOT to share any of my information regarding my electric bill in public. Speaking to the phone is ridiculous unless I am speaking to a real person which in the case of your new phone system is next to impossible.
Furthermore, when I requested an address where I could file my complaint, the customer service representative who I finally got on the phone gave me a disconnected phone number!
This is unacceptable. Surely, there must be a better solution for your customer service line.
Note: Glad I checked that before sending. Heh, I'd have posted my name and phone number to the internet! EEK!
My surprise? God lets me work where I do and minister to kids. Also, I'm at a point that if He wants me to stay at the school for another year, I'm ok with that. I did plan on leaving the end of the year.
Oh yeah, I have a beautiful visual for a wall hanging thanks to the people who gave me the gorgeous handmade papers. The wife said "Even the most beautiful flower has to go through some dirt to bloom." She didn't know where the quote came from but God gave me an awesome visual last night. I'm going to try to make it out of paper this week. Like that's any surprise! LOL
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Surprise Me God #12 & 13
I've not had access to make a post but here goes.
Friday. We went and looked at a place to rent. The previous tenant had completely trashed the house and that was the state it was in when I first looked at it (a week earlier). It's a lovely little three bedroom/one bath house. Low roof. All the walls are freshly painted. There will be new carpet through the entire thing. New stove and refrigerator. It has central heat and did have window ac's. But the owner is having it converted to central air as well. He is willing to work with me to pay a deposit and is going to let us start moving in as soon as it's finished being fixed. He believes that will be Friday the 15th. Yah!
There was a party for the worship team as well. It was nice to see everyone who is part of the media team and worship team in one place. There were behind the scene people I had never met.
Saturday. We got to sleep in. Always a pleasure to sleep late.
We finally got out of the house around 12 so we could visit a girl from school who has been in the hospital for nearly two weeks. We took her a Switchfoot cd and book.
Last night was the Singles' Christmas party. There were about 30 people there. Skif went with me since Talia spent the night at a friend's. We had a really good time. We played the "Dirty Santa" game. (It really needs a different name) Lots of laughter over the cooler and the "gremlin" car.
As for Surprise Me God. I'm still surprised every day. Things I'm not expecting happen. One of the ladies from the church offered to give me a full size antique bed with a dresser and nightstand when I was working on buying a house. She told me yesterday she still has it and I can still have it. Thank you Lord! My friend Nancy has been holding a bookcase for me for over a year!
So, that's Friday and Saturday. More later.
Friday. We went and looked at a place to rent. The previous tenant had completely trashed the house and that was the state it was in when I first looked at it (a week earlier). It's a lovely little three bedroom/one bath house. Low roof. All the walls are freshly painted. There will be new carpet through the entire thing. New stove and refrigerator. It has central heat and did have window ac's. But the owner is having it converted to central air as well. He is willing to work with me to pay a deposit and is going to let us start moving in as soon as it's finished being fixed. He believes that will be Friday the 15th. Yah!
There was a party for the worship team as well. It was nice to see everyone who is part of the media team and worship team in one place. There were behind the scene people I had never met.
Saturday. We got to sleep in. Always a pleasure to sleep late.
We finally got out of the house around 12 so we could visit a girl from school who has been in the hospital for nearly two weeks. We took her a Switchfoot cd and book.
Last night was the Singles' Christmas party. There were about 30 people there. Skif went with me since Talia spent the night at a friend's. We had a really good time. We played the "Dirty Santa" game. (It really needs a different name) Lots of laughter over the cooler and the "gremlin" car.
As for Surprise Me God. I'm still surprised every day. Things I'm not expecting happen. One of the ladies from the church offered to give me a full size antique bed with a dresser and nightstand when I was working on buying a house. She told me yesterday she still has it and I can still have it. Thank you Lord! My friend Nancy has been holding a bookcase for me for over a year!
So, that's Friday and Saturday. More later.
Friday, December 08, 2006
30 books of the Bible
30 books of the Bible
I found this puzzle on my travels through the web this morning. I managed to find 22 of the 30. I'm going to try to find the rest before the day is up. Good luck.
~~~~
There are 30 books of the Bible in this paragraph. Can you find them?
This is a most remarkable puzzle. It was found by a gentleman in an airplane seat pocket on a flight from Los Angeles to Honolulu, keeping him occupied for hours. He enjoyed it so much; he passed it on to some friends. One friend from Illinois worked on this while fishing from his john boat. Another friend studied it while playing his banjo, Elaine Taylor, a columnist friend, was so intrigued by it, she mentioned it in her weekly newspaper column. Another friend judges the job of solving this puzzle so involving, she brews a cup of tea to help her nerves. There will be some names that are really easy to spot. That's a fact. Some people, however, will soon find themselves in a jam, especially since the book names are not necessarily capitalized. Truthfully, from answers we get, we are forced to admit it usually takes a minister or a scholar to see some of them at the worst. Research has shown that something in our genes is responsible for the difficult y we have in seeing the books in this paragraph. During a recent fund raising event, which featured this puzzle, the Alpha Delta Phi lemonade booth set a new record. The local paper, The Chronicle, surveyed over 200 patrons who reported that this puzzle was one of most difficult they had ever seen. As Daniel Humana humbly puts it, "The books are all right here in plain view hidden from sight." Those able to find all of them will hear great lamentations from those who have been shown. One revelation that may help is that books like Timothy and Samuel may occur without their numbers. A chipper attitude will help you compete really well against those who claim to know the answers. Remember, there is no need for a mad exodus, there really are 30 books of the Bible lurking somewhere in this paragraph waiting to be found. God Bless!
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Surprise Me God #11
Surprised I am. Other than the long post for day 10 that I sent earlier, it was busy. (That part wasn't the surprise)
I think the two most amazing things are (1)I feel so strongly about what I posted earlier. It's hard to believe that I've gotten to a point where the grey is disappearing.
(2) Someone from my small group told me they had some handmade paper that they wanted to give me. Imagine my surprise when they came into the clinic today with about 100 sheets of 2x3 foot handmade paper! Gorgeous papers. I thought he meant 4-6 sheets maybe. This is mind-numbing. One of the first sheets I picked up, all I could think was I need to decoupage this onto a 2x3 canvas and hang it on the wall! Whoa!
Anyway, I must go for now. God is so good!
I think the two most amazing things are (1)I feel so strongly about what I posted earlier. It's hard to believe that I've gotten to a point where the grey is disappearing.
(2) Someone from my small group told me they had some handmade paper that they wanted to give me. Imagine my surprise when they came into the clinic today with about 100 sheets of 2x3 foot handmade paper! Gorgeous papers. I thought he meant 4-6 sheets maybe. This is mind-numbing. One of the first sheets I picked up, all I could think was I need to decoupage this onto a 2x3 canvas and hang it on the wall! Whoa!
Anyway, I must go for now. God is so good!
Surprise Me God #10
Surprise Me God #10
Gray areas of life. The fringe places that we see. The places where we don't care one way or another. Maybe. I don't care. Whatever.
Tuesday night, I ended up in a conversation about yes, no and grey areas. I had said when I talk to the kids oftentimes I will just ask "do you have a stomachache? Yes or No" There is no maybe, there is no "I had one this morning." Do you have one right now... Yes or No.
It seems God is removing the grey areas from my life. I'm either for Him or against Him. There is no lukewarm.
Wednesday, it escalated. And how did I get to this point? This rabbit trail of information?
Skif told me last night, he wanted to put the Weird Al Yankovich version of that song as his ring tone when he gets his own cell phone.
I told him "no." I don't approve. The original is completely wrong. Foul language, sexual references, breaking the law. And that's just the parts that I can understand. I'd have to look up the rest. (I actually asked the school resource officer to help me with what it meant.)
If I let him put the remake on as a ring tone, what do you hear? What is the first thing that comes to mind if you aren't a Christian? Is it the funny version or the original version? What type of message am I sending? If I allow it, then as far as I can tell, I'm saying I approve of the behavior in the song.
I brought up the tv show that we have argued over already. It doesn't matter that the people on the show are being nice and fixing up someone's car for them. What does the title say?
I have tried to explain that a p*mp is a person, esp. a man, who solicits customers for a prostitute or a brothel, usually in return for a share of the earnings; pander; procurer. (definition from dictionary.com)
If I allow her to watch the show, I am condoning and approving of it. Title and all. It's not right.
At some point, I have to chose to make a stand. What message am I sending? What message do I want to send? Am I for God or against God?
This may sound totally over the top. But where is the line in the sand? And as the waves come, the line moves and how long does it take for my sense of the moral and ethic to change to where it is unrecognizable from the world's?
To say that this created a storm in my house is an understatement. Skif was mad and said all you and Talia do is fight.
It's hard to explain to an 11 year old. When we got home, she ran into our room and began to sob. I went in to try and talk to her but she wasn't hearing me. I gave up and went back to the living room.
Then I called Skif out. I asked him if he was proud of the reaction that occured? I explained that his egging things on does not help. I tried to explain the song thing and car thing. I tried to explain that it's yes or no and if he choses to accept those things how long before he's doing things that aren't acceptable in God's eyes? He finally went to bed. He's still angry today.
Talia came out and climbed up in my lap after about 30 minutes. We talked for quite a while. I started over explaining the whole song/car thing again. Then I asked her what Jesus would say about the song/car issue. She told me he wouldn't listen it/watch to it. I asked her why she would? She told me that they do something good in the show. Again I explained it's either you agree or you don't agree. You're saying that Jesus wouldn't watch it because it's showing the wrong things but it's still ok for you. Where is the right or wrong in this?
As I talked to her, I compared her to a flower. She is just a bud right now. The things of this world want to batter and scar her, tearing at her, causing her to compromise. And with these things happening, when she blooms, she too will be bruised and torn.
God wants her whole, pure, holy. The fragrance pleasing and acceptable to the Lord.
I know the things I talked with her about may be over her head a bit, but I want her to think about these things.
And as we talked, she brought up a scripture that the youth pastor used during his sermon.
I told her this was a good example.
I asked her the following question. If you aren't a Christian but you give a lot of money to help the poor, where will you go... Heaven or Hell? Did it make any difference that you were good if you didn't know the Lord, if you aren't saved?
Sometimes we have to chose to make a stand. It may not be popular. It may not make you popular. But who am I supposed to be pleasing? Man or God?
Is the life I'm leading one that makes a glorifies God? Are the things I am chosing to do say I'm following Christ?
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
Surprise Me God #9
This is an email I wrote today to share with someone at work. It came out of a conversation we had and she asked for me to cheer her up that she needed some of what I have. This is where I am today. Surprise me God...
This may be more than you were looking for but it's where my head is today. I truly realized I think for the first time, that I am here for more than just taking care of these kids (even the ones who irritate me). God put me here to encourage them when there is no else encouraging them. To let them know they count and they have a future when it looks like hell is raining around them. And so many of them are living in that hell.
Do we (you, I and so many others here) make a difference? Do we lose our focus and just see a sea of faces and miss the hurt? See another body and forget to care?
I know I get to that point sometimes and it takes a lot to turn it around. Sometimes a song, sometimes a sermon.
I know you know how much I listen to Christian music. But I thought I'd share this one with you and then at the bottom there are a couple notes from a web site that just seem to speak.
I pray both speak to you as well. I know some days I look like I'm "out there" when I'm walking around singing. But sometimes, singing to God is the only thing keeping me from crying and screaming.
Deb
~~~
She is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
She is trying
But the canyon's ever widening
In the depths of her cold heart
So she sets out on another misadventure just to find
She's another two years older
And she's three more steps behind
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
She is yearning
For shelter and affection
That she never found at home
She is searching
For a hero to ride in
To ride in and save the day
And in walks her prince charming
And he knows just what to say
Momentary lapse of reason
And she gives herself away
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
If judgement looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we never even met her
If judgment looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we never even met her
Never even met her
Does anybody hear her? Does anybody see?
Or does anybody even knows she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Does anybody see?
Does anybody even know she's going down today?
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Does anybody see?
He is running a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
~~~
Highlighted areas are my emphasis. I was thinking about some of the kids I've seen and some of the tales I've heard since I started working here. I did not write these two letters. I just copied them from the Casting Crowns web site I was reading.
~~~
This morning I was driving in to work listening to our local Christian radio station and "Does Anybody Hear Her" came on the radio. I own all Casting Crown CD's, having been to several concerts and am a regular fan. I had listened to the aforementioned song dozens of times. Yet this morning the lyrics zoomed straight to my heart. In listening to this song in the past, my mind's eye would be flooded with images…an image of my sister who has struggled with drug abuse for years, suffered abusive boyfriends, and is now serving time in jail. There were the hundreds of images of the at-risk teens I have ministered to over the last seven years, young girls pregnant and scared, teen boys running with gangs, youth cutting on their own bodies in a desperate attempt to release the pain they feel inside.
A new image came into view today. An image of my husband who I recently learned struggles with the chains of pornography. While the hurt and the confusion I feel inside from that revelation is very real, I also know that those chains came from the master of deception, Satan. My husband wants to change and be freed from those chains. My sister wants to be freed from the chains of her addictions. The youth I have worked with want to be freed from the chains of their pain. How relevant "Does Anybody Hear Her" and "Set Me Free", along with nearly every other song on the 'Lifesong' play list speaks into my life and the lives of my loved ones. Those songs serve as a soundtrack to our lives and also as an instrument of hope – speaking truth amidst the lies of the evil one. "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10 Praise the Lord!
~~~~~~
My favorite songs from you are Lifesong, Who Am I and Voice of Truth. These touch me deeply and speak to my soul.
When God spoke to me at 30 to move from my hometown and then at 33 to take a totally different career path and become a teacher, I knew that it was His voice but couldn't understand why He was leading me this way. It didn't make 'worldly sense' for me to move 1200 miles away from the place I grew up, go back to college and work as a teacher for less than I make at my own business but I knew it was God's will. I will be finishing school soon and have an excitement within my soul because I know God has a purpose for me in education and in this new place that He's planted our family in. Even if His plan is for me to touch just one child, that is what I'm going to do and I want to be a part of that.
Someday, even if not in this life, I believe the purpose for our move and my career change will be revealed. I can't wait to see it. When I listen to Voice of Truth..it speaks to me all about both of these situations and having the faith to step out even when it's scary and doesn't "make sense." Taking that chance to step out of your own will and into God's brings such a spiritual reward and more peace in your soul than can be described in words.
I appreciate you and your music.
~~~~~~
I'm not sure how this post will turn out. I'm sending it from work and if it needs editing to be understood, I'll fix it when I log in next.
Edited to add labels and title.
This may be more than you were looking for but it's where my head is today. I truly realized I think for the first time, that I am here for more than just taking care of these kids (even the ones who irritate me). God put me here to encourage them when there is no else encouraging them. To let them know they count and they have a future when it looks like hell is raining around them. And so many of them are living in that hell.
Do we (you, I and so many others here) make a difference? Do we lose our focus and just see a sea of faces and miss the hurt? See another body and forget to care?
I know I get to that point sometimes and it takes a lot to turn it around. Sometimes a song, sometimes a sermon.
I know you know how much I listen to Christian music. But I thought I'd share this one with you and then at the bottom there are a couple notes from a web site that just seem to speak.
I pray both speak to you as well. I know some days I look like I'm "out there" when I'm walking around singing. But sometimes, singing to God is the only thing keeping me from crying and screaming.
Deb
~~~
She is running
A hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
She is trying
But the canyon's ever widening
In the depths of her cold heart
So she sets out on another misadventure just to find
She's another two years older
And she's three more steps behind
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
She is yearning
For shelter and affection
That she never found at home
She is searching
For a hero to ride in
To ride in and save the day
And in walks her prince charming
And he knows just what to say
Momentary lapse of reason
And she gives herself away
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
Or does anybody even know she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?
If judgement looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we never even met her
If judgment looms under every steeple
If lofty glances from lofty people
Can't see past her scarlet letter
And we never even met her
Never even met her
Does anybody hear her? Does anybody see?
Or does anybody even knows she's going down today
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Does anybody see?
Does anybody even know she's going down today?
Under the shadow of our steeple
With all the lost and lonely people
Searching for the hope that's tucked away in you and me
Does anybody hear her? Does anybody see?
He is running a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction
~~~
Highlighted areas are my emphasis. I was thinking about some of the kids I've seen and some of the tales I've heard since I started working here. I did not write these two letters. I just copied them from the Casting Crowns web site I was reading.
~~~
This morning I was driving in to work listening to our local Christian radio station and "Does Anybody Hear Her" came on the radio. I own all Casting Crown CD's, having been to several concerts and am a regular fan. I had listened to the aforementioned song dozens of times. Yet this morning the lyrics zoomed straight to my heart. In listening to this song in the past, my mind's eye would be flooded with images…an image of my sister who has struggled with drug abuse for years, suffered abusive boyfriends, and is now serving time in jail. There were the hundreds of images of the at-risk teens I have ministered to over the last seven years, young girls pregnant and scared, teen boys running with gangs, youth cutting on their own bodies in a desperate attempt to release the pain they feel inside.
A new image came into view today. An image of my husband who I recently learned struggles with the chains of pornography. While the hurt and the confusion I feel inside from that revelation is very real, I also know that those chains came from the master of deception, Satan. My husband wants to change and be freed from those chains. My sister wants to be freed from the chains of her addictions. The youth I have worked with want to be freed from the chains of their pain. How relevant "Does Anybody Hear Her" and "Set Me Free", along with nearly every other song on the 'Lifesong' play list speaks into my life and the lives of my loved ones. Those songs serve as a soundtrack to our lives and also as an instrument of hope – speaking truth amidst the lies of the evil one. "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10 Praise the Lord!
~~~~~~
My favorite songs from you are Lifesong, Who Am I and Voice of Truth. These touch me deeply and speak to my soul.
When God spoke to me at 30 to move from my hometown and then at 33 to take a totally different career path and become a teacher, I knew that it was His voice but couldn't understand why He was leading me this way. It didn't make 'worldly sense' for me to move 1200 miles away from the place I grew up, go back to college and work as a teacher for less than I make at my own business but I knew it was God's will. I will be finishing school soon and have an excitement within my soul because I know God has a purpose for me in education and in this new place that He's planted our family in. Even if His plan is for me to touch just one child, that is what I'm going to do and I want to be a part of that.
Someday, even if not in this life, I believe the purpose for our move and my career change will be revealed. I can't wait to see it. When I listen to Voice of Truth..it speaks to me all about both of these situations and having the faith to step out even when it's scary and doesn't "make sense." Taking that chance to step out of your own will and into God's brings such a spiritual reward and more peace in your soul than can be described in words.
I appreciate you and your music.
~~~~~~
I'm not sure how this post will turn out. I'm sending it from work and if it needs editing to be understood, I'll fix it when I log in next.
Edited to add labels and title.
Monday, December 04, 2006
Surprise Me God #8
Yes, I missed #7. The day was good though. The sermon was dead on. Score another for God. This battle I have over a house and finances. God's bigger than all that.
Just need an answer. I can't see it. And I'm a pretty visual person. I need to be able to see. Guess that's part of my problem. I'm trying to see faith. Or something like that.
There's something dead under the trailer. Last night was a little nosy to say the least. Today is absolutely unbearable. I talked to my neigbor about looking under the trailer since the landlord had already gone to work.
I came home this evening and can't stay there. I'm at the other debi's house. Landlord called after I got here and said he'd check it out tomorrow after he gets off work.
On other notes, I found a beautiful suede feeling jacket to wear to the church volunteer banquet last night. It's burnt orange in color. Scrumpcious to wear. It's been a long long time since I bought something so nice to wear. It was definitely a splurge although realitively unexpensive. It's not a pair of jeans or something I can wear to work. Just special occasions.
One of the most interesting things about the banquet was what I didn't find out until I was leaving... There was a reserved spot for me at one of the reserved tables for staff. Although I'm running the bookstore and the library, I just don't consider myself staff because I work full time elsewhere. I saved the placecard as a souvenir.
Today. Busy busy busy. Over 70 kids in the clinic again today. It just seemed like a never ending stream.
The kids and I went to visit one of the student's in the hospital today. She's been there for nearly a week and has two more weeks to go. She's got so much potential. I just wish she could see it. We'll go up and see her again on Saturday. Also added her to the church prayer list.
Another surprise for the day was the email I got from my supervisor asking if I had considered trying to obtain housing using the healthcare professional route. Healthcare professional? This never occured to me either. I always see myself as just retired Navy working to keep my head and the kids head above water.
So, in two days God surprised me by showing me that I am more than what I think of myself as. It seems He is trying to get me to see myself as He does and as others sometimes do. Healthcare professional and Church staff in two days. I truly have never thought of this. Thank you Lord for enlightenment.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day. It's also the church staff Christmas party. Again, I am stunned I was even invited. Let alone considered staff. I have the childcare set up so I can attend.
The rest of the week is busy as well. Church on Wednesday night. It's First Wednesday. The day that both the North Campus and our south campus get together for worship, baptisms, fellowship dinner, and a good service. The worship is always phenomenal. Two awesome worship leaders to bring you into the presence of God. What more can you ask for?
Friday night is the worship team Christmas party. No kids allowed. I've not gotten childcare yet but may attempt to. I've been working with the worship team for two years now. I didn't realize that until I blew my blog up last month. I run the overheads with the words to the songs on Wednesday nights.
Saturday night is our Singles Christmas party. Again, no kids.
Three events in one week with no kids. It's rather hard for me to wrap my head around. I rarely go anywhere without the kids. Even stranger is to have 3 parties to go to! I can honestly say that this has never occured before. I actually fit in and help make a difference.
Sunday. Sunday is the final class of S.H.A.P.E. What an awesome class. I wasn't even going to take the class until I saw who was leading it. The couple leading it are the parents of one of our worship team members and they themselves have been doing worship for years. I'm not even sure of their age but suspect they are nearly 20 years older than me. Both are amazing. She has the sweetest spirit and a lovely gift of hospitality. He is a great teacher inclined to get excited about what he is teaching. I met them when he worked VBS this summer.
At the end of the class, we have the option of turning in copies of the last few pages of our workbooks into the church for evaluation of where we could possibility fit into the ministry. I know I'm already doing ministry work but wow, God could open a new door!
I've actually pondered attaching a copy of my resume to the back of the workbook before I hand it in. I've often said that one day I'd like to be the receptionist or secretary there. *s*
Anyway, it's bed time. God has surprised me again. I have no idea why I am but I am. He is so good and so faithful. Thank you Lord.
Just need an answer. I can't see it. And I'm a pretty visual person. I need to be able to see. Guess that's part of my problem. I'm trying to see faith. Or something like that.
There's something dead under the trailer. Last night was a little nosy to say the least. Today is absolutely unbearable. I talked to my neigbor about looking under the trailer since the landlord had already gone to work.
I came home this evening and can't stay there. I'm at the other debi's house. Landlord called after I got here and said he'd check it out tomorrow after he gets off work.
On other notes, I found a beautiful suede feeling jacket to wear to the church volunteer banquet last night. It's burnt orange in color. Scrumpcious to wear. It's been a long long time since I bought something so nice to wear. It was definitely a splurge although realitively unexpensive. It's not a pair of jeans or something I can wear to work. Just special occasions.
One of the most interesting things about the banquet was what I didn't find out until I was leaving... There was a reserved spot for me at one of the reserved tables for staff. Although I'm running the bookstore and the library, I just don't consider myself staff because I work full time elsewhere. I saved the placecard as a souvenir.
Today. Busy busy busy. Over 70 kids in the clinic again today. It just seemed like a never ending stream.
The kids and I went to visit one of the student's in the hospital today. She's been there for nearly a week and has two more weeks to go. She's got so much potential. I just wish she could see it. We'll go up and see her again on Saturday. Also added her to the church prayer list.
Another surprise for the day was the email I got from my supervisor asking if I had considered trying to obtain housing using the healthcare professional route. Healthcare professional? This never occured to me either. I always see myself as just retired Navy working to keep my head and the kids head above water.
So, in two days God surprised me by showing me that I am more than what I think of myself as. It seems He is trying to get me to see myself as He does and as others sometimes do. Healthcare professional and Church staff in two days. I truly have never thought of this. Thank you Lord for enlightenment.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day. It's also the church staff Christmas party. Again, I am stunned I was even invited. Let alone considered staff. I have the childcare set up so I can attend.
The rest of the week is busy as well. Church on Wednesday night. It's First Wednesday. The day that both the North Campus and our south campus get together for worship, baptisms, fellowship dinner, and a good service. The worship is always phenomenal. Two awesome worship leaders to bring you into the presence of God. What more can you ask for?
Friday night is the worship team Christmas party. No kids allowed. I've not gotten childcare yet but may attempt to. I've been working with the worship team for two years now. I didn't realize that until I blew my blog up last month. I run the overheads with the words to the songs on Wednesday nights.
Saturday night is our Singles Christmas party. Again, no kids.
Three events in one week with no kids. It's rather hard for me to wrap my head around. I rarely go anywhere without the kids. Even stranger is to have 3 parties to go to! I can honestly say that this has never occured before. I actually fit in and help make a difference.
Sunday. Sunday is the final class of S.H.A.P.E. What an awesome class. I wasn't even going to take the class until I saw who was leading it. The couple leading it are the parents of one of our worship team members and they themselves have been doing worship for years. I'm not even sure of their age but suspect they are nearly 20 years older than me. Both are amazing. She has the sweetest spirit and a lovely gift of hospitality. He is a great teacher inclined to get excited about what he is teaching. I met them when he worked VBS this summer.
At the end of the class, we have the option of turning in copies of the last few pages of our workbooks into the church for evaluation of where we could possibility fit into the ministry. I know I'm already doing ministry work but wow, God could open a new door!
I've actually pondered attaching a copy of my resume to the back of the workbook before I hand it in. I've often said that one day I'd like to be the receptionist or secretary there. *s*
Anyway, it's bed time. God has surprised me again. I have no idea why I am but I am. He is so good and so faithful. Thank you Lord.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Surprise Me God #6
Today was interesting. Particularly since it didn't end until 3 a.m.! After CR last night, Skif and I went to the birthday party. I ended up talking to A until it was time for the girls to make their journals. I got to talk them through the making of them. It was interesting to say the least.
Sleeping in the morning was good. No one knocking on the door was a blessing! Yah!
A trip over to pick up Talia ended up being sitting and talking to A for another 3 hours. We talked about doing journals and name plaques to hang on the walls. It was good.
Then to Deb's to go into Foley and to Hobby Lobby in Daphne. We spent way too much time in Foley but I did manage to find bras at an excellent price. By the time I send in the rebate/free bra thing, I will have gotten 4 bras for less than the normal price of 2! Yah!
We got to Hobby Lobby as they were closing. I sort of just headed for the back as they were announcing they were closing. I needed glue desperately to finish my Christmas cards. I got 2 tubes and found a set of alphabet chipboard letters.
I'm actually thinking about selling all these cards I'm making and just buying Christmas cards to send out. I know that sounds weird, but I normally sell my cards for $2.50 each. I could sell these for $2 each and I have 250 made. I could package them 5 to a pack and sell them for $10. Or $12 with envelopes. Who knows.
I talked to the kids' dad today too. He's putting a little extra into the bank for their Christmas. They both asked for money as part of their Christmas so I'm going to give them 1/2 of the money in cash so they can buy what they want. Skif wants a ball cap and Alabama jersey. Talia wants earrings. She's loving having her ears pierced. I suspect she'll get her second piercing with her money. This is a major blessing. Even with the church helping with gifts, I had been worried about their gifts.
I'm about at the point that we are going to rent for a while. I have a rental that has been offered to us. It should be available this week coming up. I'm not sure how we'll swing the first two months rent with Christmas holiday and no pay coming in, but hey, I keep saying God's bigger than my housing problem. I need to stand on it.
I guess it's time for bed. The day has been really good. It was a blessing to get to talk to Deb today. We don't get to talk as much as we used to. I enjoy the conversation.
Thank you Lord for the beautiful sunset!
Sleeping in the morning was good. No one knocking on the door was a blessing! Yah!
A trip over to pick up Talia ended up being sitting and talking to A for another 3 hours. We talked about doing journals and name plaques to hang on the walls. It was good.
Then to Deb's to go into Foley and to Hobby Lobby in Daphne. We spent way too much time in Foley but I did manage to find bras at an excellent price. By the time I send in the rebate/free bra thing, I will have gotten 4 bras for less than the normal price of 2! Yah!
We got to Hobby Lobby as they were closing. I sort of just headed for the back as they were announcing they were closing. I needed glue desperately to finish my Christmas cards. I got 2 tubes and found a set of alphabet chipboard letters.
I'm actually thinking about selling all these cards I'm making and just buying Christmas cards to send out. I know that sounds weird, but I normally sell my cards for $2.50 each. I could sell these for $2 each and I have 250 made. I could package them 5 to a pack and sell them for $10. Or $12 with envelopes. Who knows.
I talked to the kids' dad today too. He's putting a little extra into the bank for their Christmas. They both asked for money as part of their Christmas so I'm going to give them 1/2 of the money in cash so they can buy what they want. Skif wants a ball cap and Alabama jersey. Talia wants earrings. She's loving having her ears pierced. I suspect she'll get her second piercing with her money. This is a major blessing. Even with the church helping with gifts, I had been worried about their gifts.
I'm about at the point that we are going to rent for a while. I have a rental that has been offered to us. It should be available this week coming up. I'm not sure how we'll swing the first two months rent with Christmas holiday and no pay coming in, but hey, I keep saying God's bigger than my housing problem. I need to stand on it.
I guess it's time for bed. The day has been really good. It was a blessing to get to talk to Deb today. We don't get to talk as much as we used to. I enjoy the conversation.
Thank you Lord for the beautiful sunset!
Friday, December 01, 2006
Surprise Me God #5
I was a bit more courageous this morning than yesterday morning saying "Surprise Me God."
I would never have guessed it would be so hard to say 3 words! And people think saying "I love you" is difficult?
Surprise me God. It's mind boggling. I get up in the morning and I'm half afraid to say it. What will God throw my way today? Will it be good? Bad? Will I make a difference in someone's life? Will someone make a difference in mine?
The unknown is a scary thing. It's like stepping into the dark not knowing if the floor is going to be there or not.
It takes faith. I'm still not sure mine's that strong. But I'm going to go for the gusto and see how long it lasts.
After the tire blew out/shredded last night, I am so grateful to God. That tire could have gone out while I was driving 70 mph on I-10 over the weekend! The thought is horrifying as to what could have happened.
Today, we got up early to go to Wally World to get the tire replaced. At least I thought we would be early. We got there at 6:45 a.m. and there were 3 cars in line in front of us. Ouch. 2 of them were for tires. Ouch again.
So... we get out and go in the store anyway figuring on waiting for them to do the van anyway and just be late for work.
I ran into my nurse who changed schools and talked to her for a bit, then ran into a guy from work and asked if he could give us a lift to school. Score! He could. So we weren't late for work or school. Thank you Lord!
The day was busy but not unmanageably so. My nurse bought lunch. Thanks M! Thank you Lord!
I got a call from the church that is "helping" the kids if needed. The lady had a jacket for both Skif and Talia. We could pick them up after school. Again Score! Talia and Skif both loved the jackets. Talia's wasn't too girly-girl and Skif's was the perfect size and he liked the style. Yeah! Thank you Lord!
I dropped Talia off at a birthday party and Skif and I came to church to set up for CR. It was already set up! Score! Thank you Lord! It takes us about 1/2 an hour to put out all the chairs and tables needed for the meeting. It was a blessing not to have to.
My friend Deb came in and shared a youtube video with me that made me laugh.
Hopefully, you'll laugh as much as I did. It was good. It's also the first youtube video I've ever seen.
Oh yeah, I went to my PRISM meeting last night. I really should keep up in the workbook for this. And stick to the plan. I'd probably weight about 30 pounds less by now rather than 10 pounds less. But the video was the most interesting part. Session 9 covered eatting because of apathy, anger, and perfectionism. I can relate to the apathy and perfectionism. It's hard to admit but as Lizziejoy pointed out in my comments, I'm all about doing it perfectly. And if I can't do it perfectly, then I don't want to do it at all. This applies in most areas of my life. As for the apathy part, I saw a picture over Thanksgiving of me when I weighed 135 pounds! Whoa! I was a toothpick. And the thought ran through my head, "If you can't be that small again, why try?"
God's working on me. I know he is. Thanks Lord for my surprises today!
I would never have guessed it would be so hard to say 3 words! And people think saying "I love you" is difficult?
Surprise me God. It's mind boggling. I get up in the morning and I'm half afraid to say it. What will God throw my way today? Will it be good? Bad? Will I make a difference in someone's life? Will someone make a difference in mine?
The unknown is a scary thing. It's like stepping into the dark not knowing if the floor is going to be there or not.
It takes faith. I'm still not sure mine's that strong. But I'm going to go for the gusto and see how long it lasts.
After the tire blew out/shredded last night, I am so grateful to God. That tire could have gone out while I was driving 70 mph on I-10 over the weekend! The thought is horrifying as to what could have happened.
Today, we got up early to go to Wally World to get the tire replaced. At least I thought we would be early. We got there at 6:45 a.m. and there were 3 cars in line in front of us. Ouch. 2 of them were for tires. Ouch again.
So... we get out and go in the store anyway figuring on waiting for them to do the van anyway and just be late for work.
I ran into my nurse who changed schools and talked to her for a bit, then ran into a guy from work and asked if he could give us a lift to school. Score! He could. So we weren't late for work or school. Thank you Lord!
The day was busy but not unmanageably so. My nurse bought lunch. Thanks M! Thank you Lord!
I got a call from the church that is "helping" the kids if needed. The lady had a jacket for both Skif and Talia. We could pick them up after school. Again Score! Talia and Skif both loved the jackets. Talia's wasn't too girly-girl and Skif's was the perfect size and he liked the style. Yeah! Thank you Lord!
I dropped Talia off at a birthday party and Skif and I came to church to set up for CR. It was already set up! Score! Thank you Lord! It takes us about 1/2 an hour to put out all the chairs and tables needed for the meeting. It was a blessing not to have to.
My friend Deb came in and shared a youtube video with me that made me laugh.
Hopefully, you'll laugh as much as I did. It was good. It's also the first youtube video I've ever seen.
Oh yeah, I went to my PRISM meeting last night. I really should keep up in the workbook for this. And stick to the plan. I'd probably weight about 30 pounds less by now rather than 10 pounds less. But the video was the most interesting part. Session 9 covered eatting because of apathy, anger, and perfectionism. I can relate to the apathy and perfectionism. It's hard to admit but as Lizziejoy pointed out in my comments, I'm all about doing it perfectly. And if I can't do it perfectly, then I don't want to do it at all. This applies in most areas of my life. As for the apathy part, I saw a picture over Thanksgiving of me when I weighed 135 pounds! Whoa! I was a toothpick. And the thought ran through my head, "If you can't be that small again, why try?"
God's working on me. I know he is. Thanks Lord for my surprises today!
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Surprise Me God #4
It's strange waking up and saying "Surprise Me God." It's taking a lot of something on my part to say it. Why? Am I sure that I want God to surprise me? Am I sure I can handle what He sends my way?
Today was busy again at work. I'm grateful my nurse was there. She got to handle the hardest case. I'm so glad I wasn't alone or I'd have had to call for reinforcements! Really.
Surprise! I had a check I needed to cash so I could put gas in the van. The bank was closed before we got there and the drive through is for members only. Oops. Guess that means we're not picking up Talia's instrument either?
God is good. The place that fixed Talia's instrument took the check and gave me the difference between the payment and the check amount. Thank you!
Gas in the van. Food in the kids stomachs.
Surprise! Flat as we're pulling into the church parking lot. Yes, I knew I needed a tire. I am so grateful to God that it went flat as we were pulling into the parking lot rather than on Hwy 98 or Blue Angel Parkway or Navy Blvd or Garden Street. I have a spare and it can be fixed enough until I get to Wally World in the morning.
I must continue my evening. I have a PRISM meeting. I really need to pay more attention to what's going on and the rules. I'd definitely be losing more weight. *sigh*
Thank you God for surprises and little blessings!
Today was busy again at work. I'm grateful my nurse was there. She got to handle the hardest case. I'm so glad I wasn't alone or I'd have had to call for reinforcements! Really.
Surprise! I had a check I needed to cash so I could put gas in the van. The bank was closed before we got there and the drive through is for members only. Oops. Guess that means we're not picking up Talia's instrument either?
God is good. The place that fixed Talia's instrument took the check and gave me the difference between the payment and the check amount. Thank you!
Gas in the van. Food in the kids stomachs.
Surprise! Flat as we're pulling into the church parking lot. Yes, I knew I needed a tire. I am so grateful to God that it went flat as we were pulling into the parking lot rather than on Hwy 98 or Blue Angel Parkway or Navy Blvd or Garden Street. I have a spare and it can be fixed enough until I get to Wally World in the morning.
I must continue my evening. I have a PRISM meeting. I really need to pay more attention to what's going on and the rules. I'd definitely be losing more weight. *sigh*
Thank you God for surprises and little blessings!
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Surprise Me God #3
Surprise Me God!
Last night, we went to prayer meeting at church last night. It was amazing. God showed up in an amazing way. At the end of the prayer, we prayed over the kids. WOW!!! God is so good.
My nurse is at school today! Yah!
Our guidance secretary brought in the most beautiful poinsettas for everyone in the office today.
It was a good day all the way around today. I managed to get the largest part of 212 Christmas cards started. That would be the snowmen and the coloring.
This afternoon, I got the word portion stamped. Tomorrow, I'll start assembling them with the patterned papers.
Also, God blessed us again this evening. I've been worried about Christmas gifts for the kids. They were put on the Angel Tree at church today.
God thank you for your goodness.
Last night, we went to prayer meeting at church last night. It was amazing. God showed up in an amazing way. At the end of the prayer, we prayed over the kids. WOW!!! God is so good.
My nurse is at school today! Yah!
Our guidance secretary brought in the most beautiful poinsettas for everyone in the office today.
It was a good day all the way around today. I managed to get the largest part of 212 Christmas cards started. That would be the snowmen and the coloring.
This afternoon, I got the word portion stamped. Tomorrow, I'll start assembling them with the patterned papers.
Also, God blessed us again this evening. I've been worried about Christmas gifts for the kids. They were put on the Angel Tree at church today.
God thank you for your goodness.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Surprise Me God! #2
My day yesterday was different. God surprised me in many ways. Not all of them the best but hey, He didn't say my walk with Him would be a picnic.
In fact, He said "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Note: This wasn't the scripture I was looking for but it sure must be the one I needed!
Talia's clarinet needed work so we took it in for repairs. I nearly fell over when they gave me the cost. *thud* Of course, they don't take payments but it was worth asking just in case!
Today, I gave my next door neighbor a ride to the courthouse so the court could take his deposition in the case against my former neighbor who was breaking into my house.
Surprise me God?
First surprise? No nurse again today. She had a meeting all day.
Second surprise? My first customer of the day wasn't even a kid, it was a teacher! He had cut himself shaving and needed help to get it to stop. He said he had had tissue on it for quite a while and it still wouldn't stop bleeding. I offered him a bit of vaseline hoping it would seal it and he asked if I'd put it on for him. I ended up also cutting a full size bandaid down to size to cover it. Made me laugh early!
Third surprise? The clinic wasn't as busy as yesterday. Thank goodness. I think the thing that amazes me the most is the kids who were truly sick were back again today. Kids who were puking yesterday and had fevers were back!! They hadn't had time to get well and were back spreading whatever they had. ewww!
I did manage to get some images stamped so I can color them for my Christmas cards. I had intended to do cards with a Nativity silhoutte but they didn't turn out quite like I wanted. I ended up playing with my nurse's snowman stamps she bought from me and boy are the cards cute! I plan on making at least 150. The first 40 are done. I have the images for 120 more stamped. Just need to color them, cut the layering papers and ribbon, then put them together.
Today, I am grateful for my children, a job, a van to drive, a roof over my head (although I still need another roof), the rain to come (did I say I love the rain?). I am grateful for a wonderful church family who bless me coming and going. And I am so very grateful for a God who loves me even when I'm screwing up and missing the mark.
I just realized today that I posted the "Help Me God" post on my Daddy's birthday. He would have been 67 years old on the 19th. With all the things that was wrong with our relationship, there were still good things I miss. I miss you Daddy.
I pray that my children don't one day have a post like that in reference to their Dad. They have not seen him since July 2001. Skif acts like it doesn't bother him and Talia, well Talia, I find notes here and there saying "I miss you Dad and I hope to see you soon. I love you Dad. You're the best."
Lord, protect their hearts.
In fact, He said "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Note: This wasn't the scripture I was looking for but it sure must be the one I needed!
Talia's clarinet needed work so we took it in for repairs. I nearly fell over when they gave me the cost. *thud* Of course, they don't take payments but it was worth asking just in case!
Today, I gave my next door neighbor a ride to the courthouse so the court could take his deposition in the case against my former neighbor who was breaking into my house.
Surprise me God?
First surprise? No nurse again today. She had a meeting all day.
Second surprise? My first customer of the day wasn't even a kid, it was a teacher! He had cut himself shaving and needed help to get it to stop. He said he had had tissue on it for quite a while and it still wouldn't stop bleeding. I offered him a bit of vaseline hoping it would seal it and he asked if I'd put it on for him. I ended up also cutting a full size bandaid down to size to cover it. Made me laugh early!
Third surprise? The clinic wasn't as busy as yesterday. Thank goodness. I think the thing that amazes me the most is the kids who were truly sick were back again today. Kids who were puking yesterday and had fevers were back!! They hadn't had time to get well and were back spreading whatever they had. ewww!
I did manage to get some images stamped so I can color them for my Christmas cards. I had intended to do cards with a Nativity silhoutte but they didn't turn out quite like I wanted. I ended up playing with my nurse's snowman stamps she bought from me and boy are the cards cute! I plan on making at least 150. The first 40 are done. I have the images for 120 more stamped. Just need to color them, cut the layering papers and ribbon, then put them together.
Today, I am grateful for my children, a job, a van to drive, a roof over my head (although I still need another roof), the rain to come (did I say I love the rain?). I am grateful for a wonderful church family who bless me coming and going. And I am so very grateful for a God who loves me even when I'm screwing up and missing the mark.
I just realized today that I posted the "Help Me God" post on my Daddy's birthday. He would have been 67 years old on the 19th. With all the things that was wrong with our relationship, there were still good things I miss. I miss you Daddy.
I pray that my children don't one day have a post like that in reference to their Dad. They have not seen him since July 2001. Skif acts like it doesn't bother him and Talia, well Talia, I find notes here and there saying "I miss you Dad and I hope to see you soon. I love you Dad. You're the best."
Lord, protect their hearts.
Monday, November 27, 2006
Surprise Me God!
yes, I uttered those words today.
Surprised I was. 70 kids in the clinic today. Line list as well.
I was listening to our worship team on the cd player trying to stay focused on God in the in between times. It can sometimes be hard.
Around 1 p.m. one of the student assistants walked in and handed me a book from Amazon.com.
I didn't order anything from amazon!
LizzieJoy, you so blessed my socks off today. I was frustrated with the volume of kids I had sitting in the clinic and in walked a gift from you. God must have known I would need me a pick me and chose you to send it. Thank you so very much. I don't think you'll ever know how much I appreciate that book.
I wanted to use the book with our small group as a way to prepare journals that would mean something to each lady when they picked it up or saw it sitting on a table.
I had lost track of your blog and now have it again as well. *hugs* to you! Deb
Surprised I was. 70 kids in the clinic today. Line list as well.
I was listening to our worship team on the cd player trying to stay focused on God in the in between times. It can sometimes be hard.
Around 1 p.m. one of the student assistants walked in and handed me a book from Amazon.com.
I didn't order anything from amazon!
LizzieJoy, you so blessed my socks off today. I was frustrated with the volume of kids I had sitting in the clinic and in walked a gift from you. God must have known I would need me a pick me and chose you to send it. Thank you so very much. I don't think you'll ever know how much I appreciate that book.
I wanted to use the book with our small group as a way to prepare journals that would mean something to each lady when they picked it up or saw it sitting on a table.
I had lost track of your blog and now have it again as well. *hugs* to you! Deb
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving was good. We spent it at my mother's. Pretty much everything was cooked before we got there and a little reheating needed.
Two of my sisters, one brother, one brother-in-law, and 2 nephews along with my Mom, her husband, myself, Talia and Skif.
It was really good to see my brother. I've now seen him twice in one week. That's more than I've seen him in the previous 6 months!!!
We got to play a few rounds of 313. And much talking going on.
Afterwards, my sister went to my brother's to pick up some slides and a slide projector that had belonged to my Daddy.
We spent about 4 hours going through all the slides. It was good to see these pictures. After my Daddy passed away, a lot of things like pictures seemed to have vanished. Most of the slides were from 81-early 83. There were pictures of my Pass-In-Review from bootcamp. Pictures of my first ex and I out shooting skeet. I was about the size of a pencil back then. There were also pictures of when I was a year old and my parents lived upstairs from the funeral home that my Dad worked in.
I told a friend about the pictures on Friday and she asked if I had gotten prayer for that. I said what? I never thought about the fact we lived above a funeral home for a couple years after I was born. Maybe it is something I need to look into. She also asked if my Dad was bi-polar. I have no idea. I know he was never the same man after my uncle was shot and killed in 1979.
Things to think on and pray over.
Two of my sisters, one brother, one brother-in-law, and 2 nephews along with my Mom, her husband, myself, Talia and Skif.
It was really good to see my brother. I've now seen him twice in one week. That's more than I've seen him in the previous 6 months!!!
We got to play a few rounds of 313. And much talking going on.
Afterwards, my sister went to my brother's to pick up some slides and a slide projector that had belonged to my Daddy.
We spent about 4 hours going through all the slides. It was good to see these pictures. After my Daddy passed away, a lot of things like pictures seemed to have vanished. Most of the slides were from 81-early 83. There were pictures of my Pass-In-Review from bootcamp. Pictures of my first ex and I out shooting skeet. I was about the size of a pencil back then. There were also pictures of when I was a year old and my parents lived upstairs from the funeral home that my Dad worked in.
I told a friend about the pictures on Friday and she asked if I had gotten prayer for that. I said what? I never thought about the fact we lived above a funeral home for a couple years after I was born. Maybe it is something I need to look into. She also asked if my Dad was bi-polar. I have no idea. I know he was never the same man after my uncle was shot and killed in 1979.
Things to think on and pray over.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Found out why my head was spinning the last couple days. A good case of vertigo will do wonders for your perspective!
Church was good this morning. The series title is Kairos.
The average person lives 77 years. 924 months. 4004 weeks. 28105 days. 674520 hours. 40471200 minutes. 242827200 seconds. Time is ticking.
Why am I doing what I'm doing? Who am I becoming?
Pastor used the illustration of juggling. What am I juggling? Are they things that make a difference? Is my schedule full or fulfilling?
I believe I am making a difference but I also see my schedule as full and a lot does not point towards eternity.
He talked of giving my "priorities" the test. The eternity test. The funeral test. The fire test.
Does what I'm doing have a lasting importance? Will someone cry at my funeral? Did I make a difference in anyone's life? What would I take in a fire? What do I consider important enough to take with me and what would I leave behind?
"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:28-33
Time is a value issue.
Anyway, it was good and I'm hearing it a second time right now. It makes me think. Makes me wonder what changes I can make in my life.
Church was good this morning. The series title is Kairos.
The average person lives 77 years. 924 months. 4004 weeks. 28105 days. 674520 hours. 40471200 minutes. 242827200 seconds. Time is ticking.
Why am I doing what I'm doing? Who am I becoming?
Pastor used the illustration of juggling. What am I juggling? Are they things that make a difference? Is my schedule full or fulfilling?
I believe I am making a difference but I also see my schedule as full and a lot does not point towards eternity.
He talked of giving my "priorities" the test. The eternity test. The funeral test. The fire test.
Does what I'm doing have a lasting importance? Will someone cry at my funeral? Did I make a difference in anyone's life? What would I take in a fire? What do I consider important enough to take with me and what would I leave behind?
"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:28-33
Time is a value issue.
Anyway, it was good and I'm hearing it a second time right now. It makes me think. Makes me wonder what changes I can make in my life.
Friday, November 10, 2006
ramblings...
I'm done playing for now. I wanted to test the blogger beta features. I like that you can now play with the template while looking at it. Most of mine, I added html rather than use the link features. That way I could get it to read the way I wanted.
I haven't figured out how to add images and get rid of the header. For now, this will have to do.
I'm sitting at church. In the process of rearranging the bookstore and doing some children's stuff.
I'm also listening to the recording of our night worship that was held on Friday the 13th. I could listen to the song "The Stand" for hours. Wait! I've been doing that!
My van is in for repairs today. The check engine light came on Tuesday morning. I stopped by the mechanic yesterday and they hooked it up to the little diagnostic machine. It's a "743" error, a torque converter problem. I have no idea the cost but I'm praying it's not going to break me.
When I got out of bed this morning, I nearly fell. It appears that I have an inner ear infection or something that has my equilibrium off. If it gets any worse, I'm going to have to go to the doctor.
Today is the Blue Angel airshow. We live right off the main traffic path for the show. Can you say no going home until late this evening? Tomorrow is a repeat performance.
Skif is playing in the All Star game tomorrow night. I took him to practice on Wednesday night. Talked to the coach for a few minutes after practice. He seemed surprised when told this was Skif's first year of playing basketball on a team.
Talia gets to go to the Barlow Girl concert tonight. She's so excited! Yah! She gets cuter by the day.
Both Skif and Talia gave me their Christmas lists yesterday. I told them to be realistic. Maybe not the best thing to tell a kid but they know the real deal now.
Skif wants Legos, a skateboard, a scooter, the Star Wars II game for GameCube, and money. Talia wants earrings, a purse (but not too girly!), a skateboard, a Barlow Girl cd, and money. That gives me something to work toward for the next few weeks leading up to Christmas.
Talia is going to be in the Christmas drama at church. She gets to cop an attitude for her part. Oh boy!
Outta here and back to work for now. Kids are hungry too. (Like that's a surprise!)
I haven't figured out how to add images and get rid of the header. For now, this will have to do.
I'm sitting at church. In the process of rearranging the bookstore and doing some children's stuff.
I'm also listening to the recording of our night worship that was held on Friday the 13th. I could listen to the song "The Stand" for hours. Wait! I've been doing that!
My van is in for repairs today. The check engine light came on Tuesday morning. I stopped by the mechanic yesterday and they hooked it up to the little diagnostic machine. It's a "743" error, a torque converter problem. I have no idea the cost but I'm praying it's not going to break me.
When I got out of bed this morning, I nearly fell. It appears that I have an inner ear infection or something that has my equilibrium off. If it gets any worse, I'm going to have to go to the doctor.
Today is the Blue Angel airshow. We live right off the main traffic path for the show. Can you say no going home until late this evening? Tomorrow is a repeat performance.
Skif is playing in the All Star game tomorrow night. I took him to practice on Wednesday night. Talked to the coach for a few minutes after practice. He seemed surprised when told this was Skif's first year of playing basketball on a team.
Talia gets to go to the Barlow Girl concert tonight. She's so excited! Yah! She gets cuter by the day.
Both Skif and Talia gave me their Christmas lists yesterday. I told them to be realistic. Maybe not the best thing to tell a kid but they know the real deal now.
Skif wants Legos, a skateboard, a scooter, the Star Wars II game for GameCube, and money. Talia wants earrings, a purse (but not too girly!), a skateboard, a Barlow Girl cd, and money. That gives me something to work toward for the next few weeks leading up to Christmas.
Talia is going to be in the Christmas drama at church. She gets to cop an attitude for her part. Oh boy!
Outta here and back to work for now. Kids are hungry too. (Like that's a surprise!)
Sunday, November 05, 2006
revelation and failure
I've been thinking quite a bit lately about Thanksgiving and people from the past.
Yesterday morning, I was sitting thinking about my testimony when suddenly I realized...
Did anyone know I was married when I was stationed in Pensacola the first time? Did my behavior reflect I was married? Or was I too worried about being popular, drinking and hanging out to act married?
Yes, the latter would be the correct answer. For the first time in my life, I was somebody (in my own mind). I had male friends who actually wanted my company. And I, theirs.
I was pretty after having been the ugly duckling the whole time I was in high school. I can look back now at the pictures from school and see that I wasn't ugly but back then, the words had much more power than they do now.
My husband at the time was stationed in Orlando. I think we saw each other 3 times after we married. We never did live together and I think the thing that hurt the most was having extra money in my check and wanting to go see him. He on the other hand was too busy for me. The only thing he wanted was $150 a month to help pay his car payment that he had been paying before he met me.
It sort of warped my behavior even further. I became much more the party animal. I began dating. Of course, now, looking back those were affairs. And in my mind that far back, I had done nothing wrong.
My divorce was filed for in August of that year and not final until February of the next year.
I am amazed that it took me 24 years to realize just how screwed up my perspective of marriage and life was.
God took a small window of reflection to give me a revelation. I can only at this point pray for forgiveness from God and take it for a lesson learned.
Somehow, the song "Stand in the Rain" by Superchic(k) is so appropriate. I am so afraid to slow down that the past will come rushing up and call to account all the things I've done or that my thoughts will take me to ground I'm not ready to cover yet... or rather uncover.
She never slows down
She doesn’t know why
but she knows that
When she’s all alone
it feels like its all coming down
She won’t turn around
The shadows grow long
and she fears
If she cries that first tear
the tears will not stop raining down
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it’s all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won’t drown
And one day what’s lost can be found
You stand in the rain
She won’t make a sound
Alone in this fight with herself
And the fears whispering
if she stands she’ll fall down
She wants to be found
The only way out is through everything
She’s running from
wants to give up and lie down
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it’s all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won’t drown
And one day what’s lost can be found
You stand in the rain
I too know the feeling that if I start crying, the tears may never cease. Sometimes, I can feel them and it's a battle to keep them back.
Why? Talia and Skif. Control. The fear of falling apart and being unfit.
Then other days... I wake up singing...
You stood before creation
Eternity in Your hand
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand
You stood before my failure
And carried the cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul now to stand
So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart
O God Completely to You
I walk upon salvation
Your Spirit alive in me
This life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand
So I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One
who gave it all
So I'll stand my soul
Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours
Because I know that His sacrifice and His forgiveness is so much bigger than anything I've done. All I must do is let it go and give it to Him.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
It's a process. I'm walking it out and it's tough.
Yesterday morning, I was sitting thinking about my testimony when suddenly I realized...
Did anyone know I was married when I was stationed in Pensacola the first time? Did my behavior reflect I was married? Or was I too worried about being popular, drinking and hanging out to act married?
Yes, the latter would be the correct answer. For the first time in my life, I was somebody (in my own mind). I had male friends who actually wanted my company. And I, theirs.
I was pretty after having been the ugly duckling the whole time I was in high school. I can look back now at the pictures from school and see that I wasn't ugly but back then, the words had much more power than they do now.
My husband at the time was stationed in Orlando. I think we saw each other 3 times after we married. We never did live together and I think the thing that hurt the most was having extra money in my check and wanting to go see him. He on the other hand was too busy for me. The only thing he wanted was $150 a month to help pay his car payment that he had been paying before he met me.
It sort of warped my behavior even further. I became much more the party animal. I began dating. Of course, now, looking back those were affairs. And in my mind that far back, I had done nothing wrong.
My divorce was filed for in August of that year and not final until February of the next year.
I am amazed that it took me 24 years to realize just how screwed up my perspective of marriage and life was.
God took a small window of reflection to give me a revelation. I can only at this point pray for forgiveness from God and take it for a lesson learned.
Somehow, the song "Stand in the Rain" by Superchic(k) is so appropriate. I am so afraid to slow down that the past will come rushing up and call to account all the things I've done or that my thoughts will take me to ground I'm not ready to cover yet... or rather uncover.
She doesn’t know why
but she knows that
When she’s all alone
it feels like its all coming down
She won’t turn around
The shadows grow long
and she fears
If she cries that first tear
the tears will not stop raining down
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it’s all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won’t drown
And one day what’s lost can be found
You stand in the rain
She won’t make a sound
Alone in this fight with herself
And the fears whispering
if she stands she’ll fall down
She wants to be found
The only way out is through everything
She’s running from
wants to give up and lie down
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground
Stand up when it’s all crashing down
You stand through the pain
You won’t drown
And one day what’s lost can be found
You stand in the rain
I too know the feeling that if I start crying, the tears may never cease. Sometimes, I can feel them and it's a battle to keep them back.
Why? Talia and Skif. Control. The fear of falling apart and being unfit.
Then other days... I wake up singing...
Eternity in Your hand
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand
You stood before my failure
And carried the cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul now to stand
So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart
O God Completely to You
I walk upon salvation
Your Spirit alive in me
This life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand
So I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One
who gave it all
So I'll stand my soul
Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours
Because I know that His sacrifice and His forgiveness is so much bigger than anything I've done. All I must do is let it go and give it to Him.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30
It's a process. I'm walking it out and it's tough.
Friday, November 03, 2006
house....
No house. 13.44% wasn't acceptable. It won't appraise without the roof being fixed.
I really feel God gave me an out. No matter how much I loved the house, it wasn't worth the pain my head had been in since I submitted the loan papers and contract.
The day I submitted the papers (I think the 11th), I started clenching my jaw without realizing it. By the end of Friday, my head was screaming. I had the worse headache I think I have ever had in my life.
This continued all the way up until Monday of this week when I requested the mortgage broker to tear up the loan application.
Where will we live? I have no idea. For now, we are staying where we are. I believe God will open a door to the right house with the right financing.
As for other things, Skif was asked to play on the All-Star team for basketball next weekend. He's excited. The coach choses two 8th-grade students from his team to send. I need to make sure Skif shares the news with a couple of his mentors here.
Talia brought me a magazine that she says she "wants to share" with some friends who want to be cheerleaders. The magazine? Cheerleader magazine. *thud* I actually think she wants it. We'll see.
My mind has been full of ideas lately. God gave me a beautiful image to use with Psalm 19:14, "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer." I just have to figure out how to get the picture from one dimensional to three dimensional. I can see it plan as day.
He also gave me a wonderful image of Romans 12:1-2, "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." It's a wall hanging with the scripture written out on vellum. Behind the vellum is the earth (made from cardstock) and a city skyline. Both are mounted onto scrapbooking paper. I printed the word "Changed" in all capital letters onto blue cardstock and cut it out to mount on top of the vellum. It turned out so cool. I have had 2 requests for duplicates (for a total of 3). I'm excited!
The church is having an "Open Mic" night. They are also going to have tables for people to display their work on. I'm going to display the pieces I have done right now along with some cards and stuff.
Maybe in December, I'll do the NC craft show. I've not decided yet.
Well, I must go. I have to finish working CR. Later.
Edited to add: I converted to Blogger Beta tonight too! I figure after dumping 3 years worth of blog, I may as well go for the gusto! LOL
I really feel God gave me an out. No matter how much I loved the house, it wasn't worth the pain my head had been in since I submitted the loan papers and contract.
The day I submitted the papers (I think the 11th), I started clenching my jaw without realizing it. By the end of Friday, my head was screaming. I had the worse headache I think I have ever had in my life.
This continued all the way up until Monday of this week when I requested the mortgage broker to tear up the loan application.
Where will we live? I have no idea. For now, we are staying where we are. I believe God will open a door to the right house with the right financing.
As for other things, Skif was asked to play on the All-Star team for basketball next weekend. He's excited. The coach choses two 8th-grade students from his team to send. I need to make sure Skif shares the news with a couple of his mentors here.
Talia brought me a magazine that she says she "wants to share" with some friends who want to be cheerleaders. The magazine? Cheerleader magazine. *thud* I actually think she wants it. We'll see.
My mind has been full of ideas lately. God gave me a beautiful image to use with Psalm 19:14, "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer." I just have to figure out how to get the picture from one dimensional to three dimensional. I can see it plan as day.
He also gave me a wonderful image of Romans 12:1-2, "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." It's a wall hanging with the scripture written out on vellum. Behind the vellum is the earth (made from cardstock) and a city skyline. Both are mounted onto scrapbooking paper. I printed the word "Changed" in all capital letters onto blue cardstock and cut it out to mount on top of the vellum. It turned out so cool. I have had 2 requests for duplicates (for a total of 3). I'm excited!
The church is having an "Open Mic" night. They are also going to have tables for people to display their work on. I'm going to display the pieces I have done right now along with some cards and stuff.
Maybe in December, I'll do the NC craft show. I've not decided yet.
Well, I must go. I have to finish working CR. Later.
Edited to add: I converted to Blogger Beta tonight too! I figure after dumping 3 years worth of blog, I may as well go for the gusto! LOL
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)