I forgot.  I updated my graphics with a new set from Cutest Blog on the Block.  I may leave it this way for a while.  I really like these colors.

So I sit around and play with photoshop elements when my mind is busy.  It seems so strange at times.  I know I hear God.  But two days ago, I did the flowering tree branch with "Mercy" on it. And on Sunday both at small group and church, I heard about mercy.

Sanctification has been on my mind the last week or so.  Am I allowing myself to be sanctified in Christ?  Or am I fighting every step of the way because of the hurt I've felt over the last couple years?

I almost feel as if I am regressing rather than progressing.  God, I really need to get over this place.

No job.

I'm not sure if it's my resume wasn't good enough, $12 an hour was too much, or the answers to the questions I put weren't good enough.

Or maybe, I'm not supposed to leave the school until the end of the year.

I'm sure God has some idea but I don't at this point.

carts and horses

Today, I got the cart before the horse. Not the first time but probably the worse time.

I am considering a job change. I have a bit of work to do on my resume but it will be ready to submit on Friday. I'm going to apply for 2 or 3 jobs at a local university. Administrative type positions.

The benefits, pay, and working environment are good. No shelter duty either. I know several people who already work there are love it. It would give me employment over the summer as well.

My cart before the horse moment occurred when I let my supervisor know I was going to send in several applications. I've been told that was a really bad thing to do. I think I did it more out of guilt for wanting to leave before the school year is out.

I've been miserable lately. I know I work for God. His opinion is what counts. But lately, it seems there is pretty much nothing I can do that is right. I talk to almost nothing but pre-teens all day long. I don't mind doing behind the scenes work but the last year has been rough. If I screw up, go ahead and chew on me. But when I'm getting chewed for things I didn't do, I'm kind of over it. I'm tired of pre-teen attitude, pants to the knees, and a hundred other things. And I know it's not really a hundred other things but I am tired. Probably the least appreciated job I've ever done. I truly don't feel like I make any difference to anyone there. Is that such a bad feeling? Am I wrong to feel this way?

I'm also ready to go to college. I believe I've finally got it figured out. I want to study Library Science (maybe specializing in Research) with Art on the side. I wanted to be a librarian most of my childhood. I love books, libraries and everything to do with libraries.

We'll see. So if anyone is still around, please say a prayer for me. I've been told my cart before the horse moment could be costly.